The pie chart gives information on UAE government spending in 2000. The total budget was AED 315 billion.
Sample Response
The pie chart illustrates how the UAE government spent their budget of AED 315 Billion in 2000. Overall it is immediately apparent from the graph that the government paid the highest amount on social security, and the least amount was on transport.
To begin with, in the year 2000, the second largest amount was spent on health and personal social services; however, it was almost half of the expense of social security( AED53 billion). After that, education was given more priority by the government. Therefore, it also spent AED 38 billion.
To continue, the remaining sectors used less than AED 25 Billion. As an explanation, the defence, debt interest and other expenditures were approximately the same. However, low order, housing heritage and environment, as well as industrial agriculture and employment, take AED 2 billion difference only.
As a comparison, it can be seen that the UAE administration allocated AED 100 billion in social security. However, this single sector costs the UAE government one-third of the total budget.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Pronoun agreement Original: their Suggested revision: its Why it matters: The singular government takes the possessive pronoun ‘its’ here.
- 2. Lowercase unit Original: Billion Suggested revision: billion Why it matters: The unit name ‘billion’ should not be capitalised after a number.
- 3. Name the visual Original: from the graph Suggested revision: from the pie chart Why it matters: Referring specifically to the pie chart makes the description more precise.
- 4. Use spending collocation Original: paid the highest amount on Suggested revision: allocated the largest amount to Why it matters: ‘Allocate an amount to’ is the appropriate collocation for government expenditure.
- 5. Complete passive form Original: the least amount was on transport Suggested revision: the smallest amount was spent on transport Why it matters: The passive construction needs ‘was spent’ to express the allocation clearly.
- 6. Use precise noun Original: second largest amount Suggested revision: second-largest allocation Why it matters: ‘Allocation’ describes a budget category more precisely than the general noun ‘amount’.
- 7. Clarify the comparison Original: almost half of the expense of social security( AED53 billion) Suggested revision: just over half the AED 100 billion allocated to social security (AED 53 billion) Why it matters: The chart shows AED 53 billion for health, which is slightly more than half of social security’s AED 100 billion.
- 8. State the ranking Original: was given more priority by the government Suggested revision: received the third-largest allocation Why it matters: The chart supports a precise ranking for education rather than a vague claim about priority.
- 9. Wrong logical link Original: Therefore Suggested revision: Specifically Why it matters: The next sentence supplies the figure for education rather than a consequence.
- 10. Clarify the subject Original: it also spent Suggested revision: the government spent Why it matters: The explicit subject removes the unclear reference of ‘it’.
- 11. Use allocation verb Original: the remaining sectors used Suggested revision: the remaining categories received Why it matters: Budget categories receive allocations; they do not themselves use the figures shown.
- 12. Lowercase unit Original: Billion Suggested revision: billion Why it matters: The unit name ‘billion’ should be lowercase after a number.
Suggested Rewrites
- their its
- Billion billion
- from the graph from the pie chart
- paid the highest amount on allocated the largest amount to
- the least amount was on transport the smallest amount was spent on transport
- second largest amount second-largest allocation
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response’s strongest feature is its accurate identification of the largest and smallest allocations, supported by several relevant figures and comparisons. Its main limitation is that the discussion of the smaller sectors becomes imprecise and awkwardly grouped, while language errors sometimes obscure the intended comparisons. Prioritise clearer grouping of related categories and state each comparison with an exact, accurately labelled figure.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response presents a clear overview and accurately reports the main allocations, including social security, transport, health, and education.
Clarify the grouping of the smaller sectors and support those comparisons with their exact figures.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is divided into logical stages, but mechanical linkers and the delayed return to social security weaken the progression.
Group the largest allocations together before moving once to the smaller categories, using fewer formulaic linking phrases.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is sufficient for describing expenditure, although several inaccurate collocations and labels reduce precision.
Use exact category names and natural phrases such as 'allocated to' and 'accounted for' when reporting spending.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentences communicates the main points, but agreement, tense, article, and punctuation errors recur.
Proofread verb forms and sentence boundaries, especially when comparing several categories in one sentence.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The pie chart gives information on UAE government spending in 2000. The total budget was AED 315 billion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.