The chart below shows the Higher Colleges of Technology graduates in the UAE.
Sample Response
The provided bar chart compares the number of male and female grads from the Higher Colleges of Technology colleges in the UAE. As is seen in the given diagram, there are more female graduates who earned their degree from these colleges than the number of male graduates. The most outstanding feature of the graph is female graduates outnumber male graduates in all the colleges. For example, in Dubai, there are 30% more women grads than men grads. There are also large differences in Al Ain and in Ras Al Khaimah in terms of graduates females and males. However, the number of men and women alumni is almost equal in the colleges in Abu Dhabi. Besides, Ras Al Khaimah college has less than 300 students altogether, while Abu Dhabi has about 600 and Dubai has almost 1000 students who earned their graduation. In summary, women graduates have outnumbered men graduates in all the colleges, and there are significant differences in the size of the colleges in terms of their students' number who are awarded honours.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use formal noun Original: grads Suggested revision: graduates Why it matters: “Graduates” is more appropriate than the informal abbreviation in an academic report.
- 2. Avoid repeated noun Original: colleges Suggested revision: campuses Why it matters: The replacement removes the awkward repetition of “Colleges” and “colleges.”
- 3. Add complement marker Original: is female graduates outnumber Suggested revision: is that female graduates outnumber Why it matters: A clause following “the feature is” requires “that” here.
- 4. Use consistent formal terms Original: women grads than men grads Suggested revision: female graduates than male graduates Why it matters: Formal and parallel labels are more suitable for chart comparisons.
- 5. Fix adjective order Original: graduates females and males Suggested revision: female and male graduates Why it matters: The gender adjectives must appear before the noun they modify.
- 6. Sentence rewrite Original: As is seen in the given diagram, there are more female graduates who earned their degree from these colleges than the number of male graduates. Suggested revision: The chart shows that every college produced more female graduates than male graduates. Why it matters: The original comparison is wordy and compares people with a number rather than parallel groups.
- 7. Sentence rewrite Original: In summary, women graduates have outnumbered men graduates in all the colleges, and there are significant differences in the size of the colleges in terms of their students' number who are awarded honours. Suggested revision: In summary, female graduates outnumbered male graduates at every college, and total graduate numbers varied considerably by location. Why it matters: The chart reports graduates rather than honours and does not directly measure the overall size of each college.
- 8. Support comparisons with counts Suggested revision: Add exact paired counts for key locations, such as Dubai with 426 men and 547 women and Al Ain with 131 men and 218 women. Why it matters: The main comparisons would be more informative and verifiable with selected values from the chart.
Suggested Rewrites
- grads graduates
- colleges campuses
- is female graduates outnumber is that female graduates outnumber
- women grads than men grads female graduates than male graduates
- graduates females and males female and male graduates
- As is seen in the given diagram, there are more female graduates who earned their degree from these colleges than the number of male graduates. The chart shows that every college produced more female graduates than male graduates.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response identifies the dominant gender pattern accurately and supports it with sensible comparisons of Dubai, Abu Dhabi, and Ras Al Khaimah, showing strong selection of key features. The main weakness is uneven language control, particularly awkward noun phrases and collocations; the most useful improvement would be to add a few precise figures for the omitted colleges while replacing informal or inaccurate expressions with standard statistical language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview states that women outnumber men in every college, and the selected comparisons and approximate totals are accurate, though Sharjah and Al Ain receive limited numerical support.
Add precise figures for at least one smaller college and one further gender comparison so the full range of the chart is represented more completely.
Coherence and Cohesion
The report follows a logical overview-to-detail sequence, but the overview is repeated and all information is compressed into one paragraph.
Use a distinct overview paragraph followed by a detail paragraph that groups the larger colleges separately from the smaller ones.
Lexical Resource
There is enough vocabulary to compare totals and differences, but informal or inaccurate choices such as "grads," "earned their graduation," and "students' number" recur.
Prefer precise terms such as "graduates," "graduated," "the number of students," and "male and female graduates."
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Most sentence structures communicate comparisons clearly, although errors in clause formation and noun order occur in phrases such as "the feature is female graduates outnumber" and "graduates females and males."
Use complete comparison clauses and standard noun order, for example "the main feature is that female graduates outnumbered male graduates."
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows the Higher Colleges of Technology graduates in the UAE.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.