The graph shows the percentage of UK adolescents following a vegetarian diet.
Sample Response
The line graph illustrates the ratio of young UK population who have followed a vegetarian diet from the year 1960 till the present time. A glance at the graph reveals that the percentages of young British, who were vegetarians, kept on increasing till the '80s and then witnessed a steady decrease. After the year 2000, this ratio also kept on increasing. Now getting back to the details, 5% adolescent in the UK had some sorts of vegetarian diet in 1970 and this ratio steadily increased till the year 1980. At that time, their ratio in the UK was the highest, over 15%. However, the percentages of vegetarian adolescence in this country gradually decreased and reached to the bottom in around 1997 with just 3%-3.5%. After the year 2000, the percentage of juvenile vegetarian again kept on going up and with some minor fluctuations, it reached around 12 percentage in the year 2019. Finally, in 2020, approximately around 13% of British young generation are vegetarians.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Name measure precisely Original: ratio of young UK population Suggested revision: percentage of UK adolescents Why it matters: The graph reports a percentage of adolescents rather than a ratio of a population.
- 2. Use simple past Original: have followed Suggested revision: followed Why it matters: The graph covers a completed period ending in 2020, so the simple past is appropriate.
- 3. State period exactly Original: from the year 1960 till the present time Suggested revision: from 1960 to 2020 Why it matters: The horizontal axis ends in 2020 rather than an unspecified present time.
- 4. Use trend language Original: this ratio also kept on increasing Suggested revision: this percentage generally increased Why it matters: Percentage and generally increased describe the plotted measure and its small fluctuations more precisely.
- 5. Use concise transition Original: Now getting back to the details Suggested revision: In detail Why it matters: The original transition is conversational and implies an earlier digression.
- 6. Correct figure and noun Original: 5% adolescent Suggested revision: about 7% of adolescents Why it matters: The graph places the 1970 figure at roughly 7%, and a percentage requires of before the plural noun.
- 7. Use singular category Original: some sorts of vegetarian diet Suggested revision: a vegetarian diet Why it matters: The graph tracks one dietary category rather than several sorts.
- 8. Use percentage term Original: this ratio steadily increased Suggested revision: the percentage then increased steadily Why it matters: Percentage is the correct term for the vertical-axis measure.
- 9. Use concise time Original: till the year 1980 Suggested revision: until 1980 Why it matters: This is the standard concise form for the endpoint.
- 10. Clarify reference Original: their ratio in the UK Suggested revision: the proportion Why it matters: Their has no clear human referent and ratio is not the graph's measure.
- 11. Describe peak Original: was the highest Suggested revision: reached its peak Why it matters: Reached its peak is the conventional phrase for the highest point on a line graph.
- 12. Shorten time reference Original: After the year 2000, the percentage Suggested revision: After 2000, the percentage Why it matters: The year is redundant before a specific date.
Suggested Rewrites
- ratio of young UK population percentage of UK adolescents
- have followed followed
- from the year 1960 till the present time from 1960 to 2020
- this ratio also kept on increasing this percentage generally increased
- Now getting back to the details In detail
- 5% adolescent about 7% of adolescents
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response captures the overall rise, fall, and later recovery and identifies the early-1980s peak, so the principal shape of the line is clear. Its main weakness is numerical precision: the late-1990s low is closer to 4%, and the 2019–2020 level is about 11%, not 12–13%. Prioritise checking values directly against the axes, then refine recurring noun-form and agreement errors.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The main phases and peak are accurately selected, but the trough and especially the final values are overstated.
Report the low at roughly 4% in the mid-1990s and the final plateau at about 11%, while noting the minor fluctuations.
Coherence and Cohesion
The overview and chronological detail create clear progression, although the single paragraph and conversational transition weaken organisation.
Separate the overview from a detail paragraph covering the rise to 1980 and another covering the decline and recovery.
Lexical Resource
There is adequate language for trends and approximation, but repeated inaccurate noun choices reduce precision.
Use consistent terms such as "percentage of adolescents", "vegetarians", "a low point", and "approximately 11%".
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of clauses is attempted, but plural forms, agreement, articles, and tense control are frequently faulty.
Proofread quantified noun phrases and keep past tense for historical values while using the present only for the chart itself.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph shows the percentage of UK adolescents following a vegetarian diet.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.