The chart below gives information about the UK's ageing population in 1985 and makes predictions for 2035.
Sample Response
The column graph gives the ratio of elderly population in different constituent parts in the UK in 1985 and also gives a prediction of this proportion in 2035 in these countries. Overall, Wales had the highest proportion of senior citizens in 1985 and the percentages of elderly people in all these locations will upsurge in the future. Getting back to the details, 15% population in the UK was over 64 years old in 1985 and this ratio was the highest in Wales - around 16.5%. Around a person out of 7 was a senior citizen in England and Scotland and this ratio of elderly generation in Northern Ireland was slightly lower. It is predicted that the ratio of the older populace in 2035 will increase remarkably and one out of four persons in Wales and Scotland would be over 64 years old. The ratio of elderly people in other countries in the UK would be between 22 to 23 percentages which will be a significant growth than that of 1985.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use proportion accurately Original: ratio of elderly population Suggested revision: proportion of elderly people Why it matters: A population group is described naturally as a proportion of people, not a ratio of population.
- 2. Use correct verb Original: upsurge Suggested revision: rise Why it matters: 'Upsurge' is normally a noun, whereas the sentence requires a verb.
- 3. Use formal transition Original: Getting back to the details Suggested revision: Turning to the details Why it matters: The revised transition is more concise and appropriately formal for a data report.
- 4. Add of phrase Original: 15% population Suggested revision: 15% of the population Why it matters: A percentage referring to a whole group requires 'of the population'.
- 5. Fix proportion expression Original: Around a person out of 7 Suggested revision: Around one person in seven Why it matters: 'One person in seven' is the standard construction for this proportion.
- 6. Clarify the measure Original: this ratio of elderly generation in Northern Ireland Suggested revision: the proportion of elderly people in Northern Ireland Why it matters: The revision removes the unclear reference and the unnatural phrase 'elderly generation'.
- 7. Express forecast timing Original: in 2035 will increase remarkably Suggested revision: will have increased markedly by 2035 Why it matters: The future perfect correctly presents the rise as complete by the forecast year.
- 8. Fix percentage range Original: between 22 to 23 percentages Suggested revision: between 22% and 23% Why it matters: A range introduced by 'between' requires 'and', and values take the percent sign.
- 9. Fix comparison structure Original: which will be a significant growth than that of 1985 Suggested revision: which would represent a significant increase from the 1985 figures Why it matters: Use 'increase from' to compare the forecast with the earlier values.
- 10. Fix location preposition Original: in Suggested revision: of Why it matters: The parts belong to the UK, so 'of' is the correct preposition.
- 11. Use concise forecast verb Original: also gives a prediction of this proportion Suggested revision: also predicts these proportions Why it matters: The plural form reflects the separate forecast value shown for each location.
- 12. Remove repeated preposition Original: in 2035 in these countries Suggested revision: for these areas in 2035 Why it matters: The revision removes the repeated 'in' and includes the UK total alongside its constituent countries.
Suggested Rewrites
- ratio of elderly population proportion of elderly people
- upsurge rise
- Getting back to the details Turning to the details
- 15% population 15% of the population
- Around a person out of 7 Around one person in seven
- this ratio of elderly generation in Northern Ireland the proportion of elderly people in Northern Ireland
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response identifies the overall rise across the UK and accurately selects nearly all of the important present and projected comparisons. Its main weakness is control of phrasing and sentence construction, with several unnatural or faulty expressions despite clear meaning, while the single-block organisation weakens presentation. Prioritise precise percentage language and divide the overview from the supporting details.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response provides an accurate overview and covers the major 1985 and 2035 values and comparisons with only minor imprecision.
Distinguish the four constituent countries from the overall UK figure and state each projected value more explicitly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information follows a sensible overview-to-detail sequence, but the entire report forms one paragraph and some linking is mechanical.
Separate the overview, 1985 data, and 2035 projections into clearly focused paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
There is a good range of language for age groups and change, although several choices are unnatural or imprecise.
Replace expressions such as 'ratio of elderly generation' and '23 percentages' with accurate collocations such as 'proportion of people aged 65 and over' and '23 percent.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures, but recurring errors in articles, quantifiers, prepositions, and comparisons reduce control.
Practise accurate forms such as '15% of the population,' 'one person in seven,' and 'between 22% and 23%.'
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below gives information about the UK's ageing population in 1985 and makes predictions for 2035.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.