The graph below shows UK air pollutants in millions of tonnes, from three different sources, between 1990 and 2005.
Sample Response
The line graph compares the amount of emissions released into the air from three different sources, between 1990 and 2005.
Overall, the total number of air pollutants gradually declined over the period shown. While the figures for industry and households decreased over the period, the figures for transport saw an increase.
In 1990, a total of nearly 8 million tonnes of air contaminants were emitted from the three mentioned sources, with the largest figure belonging to industry, at 6 million tonnes. The amount of pollutants due to transport and households were the same, at approximately 1 million tonnes each.
The total number of pollutants discharged into the air gradually reduced over the next fifteen years, with the total figure declining to about 5 million tonnes by 2005. In addition, air pollutants from industrial activity also decreased over time, from just under 6 million tonnes in 1990 to about 2 million tonnes in 2005. Despite the figures for households and transport being equal at the beginning of the period, the quantity of air pollutants from transport saw a small increase to 3 million tonnes by 2005, while air pollutants from households experienced a drop to a negligible amount.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Avoid redundant wording Original: amount of emissions released Suggested revision: quantity of pollutants emitted Why it matters: Emissions are already substances that have been released, so the original wording is repetitive.
- 2. Remove the comma Original: , between 1990 and 2005 Suggested revision: between 1990 and 2005 Why it matters: The defining time phrase should follow sources without a separating comma.
- 3. Use an amount noun Original: number Suggested revision: amount Why it matters: Pollutants measured in tonnes take amount rather than number.
- 4. Use a direct verb Original: the figures for transport saw an increase Suggested revision: the figure for transport increased Why it matters: A singular series is described more directly with the verb increased.
- 5. Use natural phrasing Original: three mentioned sources Suggested revision: three sources Why it matters: Mentioned is unnecessary because the sources have already been identified by the graph.
- 6. Fix agreement and source Original: The amount of pollutants due to transport and households were Suggested revision: The amounts of pollutants from transport and households were Why it matters: Two separate quantities require the plural noun amounts, and from identifies their sources clearly.
- 7. Describe the rise accurately Original: small increase to 3 million tonnes Suggested revision: substantial increase to nearly 3 million tonnes Why it matters: Transport pollution almost tripled from about 1 to just under 3 million tonnes.
- 8. Add intermediate trends Suggested revision: Briefly trace transport's early rise, mid-period dip, and later surge, and note the steady industrial decline. Why it matters: The paragraph relies mainly on endpoints and misses notable changes visible between 1990 and 2005.
Suggested Rewrites
- amount of emissions released quantity of pollutants emitted
- , between 1990 and 2005 between 1990 and 2005
- number amount
- the figures for transport saw an increase the figure for transport increased
- three mentioned sources three sources
- The amount of pollutants due to transport and households were The amounts of pollutants from transport and households were
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response is clear, well organised, and linguistically controlled, with an accurate overview of the overall decline and the contrasting source trends. Its main limitation is that the analysis relies heavily on the starting and ending years, leaving intermediate movements largely unselected. The best improvement would be to add one or two meaningful mid-period comparisons, especially the transport-industry convergence in 2002, while retaining the same concise style.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response accurately identifies the principal trends and supports them with appropriate start and end values, though intermediate features receive little attention.
Include a significant mid-period feature, such as industry and transport meeting at about 2.5 million tonnes in 2002.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses logically through a clear overview and well-focused detail paragraphs, with cohesive devices used effectively.
Refine the final paragraph by grouping the total and industrial declines before contrasting the two smaller sources even more directly.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and precise, with flexible use of terms for emissions, quantities, and change.
Reduce minor repetition of air pollutants by alternating accurately with emissions or figures where the reference remains clear.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex sentence structures is handled accurately, and errors are rare and non-impeding.
Maintain this control while tightening occasional long sentences so each comparison is expressed as directly as possible.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows UK air pollutants in millions of tonnes, from three different sources, between 1990 and 2005.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.