The charts A and B show the share of the UK and Australian cinema market in 2001 and cinema admission in the UK and Australia from 1976 to 2006.
Sample Response
Chart (A) shows the cinema industry’s share of the Australian and UK cinema market by origin in 2001. In both countries, films made in the United States predominated with 77% of the market in the UK compared to 67% in Australia. UK films accounted for 21% of the UK cinema market and 6% of the Australian market. On the other hand, while 11% of the films shown in Australia were Australian, no Australian films were shown in the UK. Films from other countries had 16% of the market share in Australia as opposed/compared to just 2% in the UK.
Chart (B) shows cinema admissions in the UK and Australia since 1976. In both countries cinema admissions dropped/fell in the early 1980s. In Australia admissions fell/dropped from just under 40 million in 1980 to about 30 million in 1984–6 while in the UK the decrease was far more dramatic (from 100 million in 1980 to less than 60 million in 1984). Since then, however, the industry has recovered in both countries. In 2001, cinema admissions in the UK stood at over 150 million, whereas in Australia they reached 90 million.
Overall, the charts show that the cinema has increased in popularity in both countries over the last 15 years, but that the origins of the films projected in Australia are more diverse than in the UK.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise collocation Original: had 16% of the market share Suggested revision: held a 16% market share Why it matters: 'Held a market share' is the more natural expression for this proportion.
- 2. Choose one alternative Original: as opposed/compared to Suggested revision: compared with Why it matters: A final response should use one comparison phrase rather than retain editing alternatives.
- 3. Correct UK figure Original: just 2% in the UK Suggested revision: about 4% in the UK Why it matters: The UK bar for films from other countries is approximately four percent.
- 4. State full period Original: since 1976 Suggested revision: between 1976 and 2006 Why it matters: Chart B covers a closed period ending in 2006.
- 5. Choose one trend verb Original: dropped/fell Suggested revision: fell Why it matters: The slash leaves two draft alternatives instead of one finished wording choice.
- 6. Remove draft alternative Original: fell/dropped Suggested revision: fell Why it matters: Only one trend verb should remain in the final sentence.
- 7. Name measured trend Original: the industry has recovered Suggested revision: cinema admissions have recovered Why it matters: The chart measures admissions rather than the health of the cinema industry as a whole.
- 8. Use natural term Original: projected Suggested revision: screened Why it matters: 'Screened' is the standard verb for films shown in cinemas.
- 9. Cover the final years Suggested revision: Add the post-2001 movement and 2006 endpoints: UK admissions fell from their early-2000s peak to about 155 million, while Australia's ended at roughly 80 million. Why it matters: The task extends to 2006, but the detail paragraph stops at 2001.
- 10. Strengthen the overview Suggested revision: State that UK admissions remained higher throughout and that admissions rose overall in both countries despite fluctuations, alongside Australia's more diverse film origins. Why it matters: These are the clearest cross-chart and time-series comparisons visible in the data.
Suggested Rewrites
- had 16% of the market share held a 16% market share
- as opposed/compared to compared with
- just 2% in the UK about 4% in the UK
- since 1976 between 1976 and 2006
- dropped/fell fell
- fell/dropped fell
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response is strongest in its precise comparisons, clear organisation, and confident use of language across both charts. The main limitation is that the admissions discussion stops with a 2001 figure and does not describe the later peaks and declines through 2006; slash-separated drafting alternatives also weaken the final presentation. Prioritise covering the complete time span and selecting one polished expression wherever alternatives remain.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The market shares and main admissions trends are reported accurately with a clear overview, but the later movement from 2001 to 2006 is omitted.
Extend the admissions account to the end of the graph by noting the subsequent peaks and final declines in both countries.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically divided by chart and uses comparison and contrast effectively, with a concise overview that ties the visuals together.
Integrate the overview before the detail paragraphs and remove slash-separated alternatives so the report reads as a fully finished text.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and precise, including predominated, accounted for, admissions, and more diverse, although the visible word-choice alternatives reduce polish.
Choose one natural term in each instance and replace less idiomatic wording such as films projected with films shown or screened.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately, and almost all sentences are well controlled and easy to understand.
Maintain the same grammatical control while removing editing alternatives and checking punctuation around longer comparative clauses.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The charts A and B show the share of the UK and Australian cinema market in 2001 and cinema admission in the UK and Australia from 1976 to 2006.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.