The graph below gives information about international migration to the UK, 1999-2008.
Sample Response
The chart illustrates the resettlement of oversea individuals to the UK in nine years.
Overall, it is immediately apparent from the graph that individuals who shifted to the UK had forward with great numbers, while people who got emigrated to another country had the lowest value from immigrated.
To begin with, the people who chose the final destination began at nearby 46,000 in 1999; this ratio shot sharply from 46 to 60,000 after five years, with the total net population approximately 20,000. Moreover, the situation of individuals moving to another nation from the UK began at approximately 30,000 with a net ratio of 80,000 in 1999 and continuously surged up over the years and reached 40,000 along with 20,000 net number of emigrants. Unfortunately, emigration drastically declined by 60,000 in 2007; afterwards, it reached its peak of 40,000 people emigrated to other nations in 2008.
Furthermore, the total net value of immigration and emigration was observed at nearly 80,000 in 1999 and continuously remained the same after two years; suddenly, this number declined with a nominal margin of 50,000 in 2003. It is interesting to note that this trend breakthrough at its peak, more than 20,000 individuals decided on their final destination and plunged to 20,000 value in the final year.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use chart term Original: resettlement Suggested revision: migration Why it matters: Resettlement does not accurately name the immigration, emigration, and net migration shown.
- 2. Correct adjective form Original: oversea individuals Suggested revision: people moving to and from the UK Why it matters: Overseas is the adjective form, and the chart covers movement in both directions.
- 3. State period accurately Original: in nine years Suggested revision: from 1999 to 2008 Why it matters: The visual covers ten annual points from 1999 through 2008.
- 4. Name the series Original: the people who chose the final destination Suggested revision: immigration Why it matters: This vague phrase should identify the immigration series directly.
- 5. Correct starting figure Original: nearby 46,000 Suggested revision: approximately 450,000 Why it matters: Immigration begins at about 450 thousand in 1999, not 46 thousand.
- 6. Use figure noun Original: ratio Suggested revision: figure Why it matters: The value is a number of migrants rather than a ratio.
- 7. Correct scale and values Original: from 46 to 60,000 Suggested revision: from about 450,000 to nearly 590,000 Why it matters: The chart is measured in thousands and shows these approximate immigration levels in 1999 and 2004.
- 8. Use correct measure Original: total net population Suggested revision: net migration Why it matters: The bars represent net migration, not the total population.
- 9. Correct net figure Original: 20 Suggested revision: 250 Why it matters: Net migration in 2004 is about 250 thousand.
- 10. Name emigration directly Original: the situation of individuals moving to another nation from the UK Suggested revision: emigration Why it matters: The standard and concise term for movement out of the UK is emigration.
- 11. Correct emigration value Original: 30 Suggested revision: 290 Why it matters: The emigration line starts just below 300 thousand in 1999.
- 12. Correct net migration Original: with a net ratio of 80,000 in 1999 Suggested revision: while net migration was about 160,000 in 1999 Why it matters: The 1999 net bar is roughly 160 thousand, not 80 thousand.
Suggested Rewrites
- resettlement migration
- oversea individuals people moving to and from the UK
- in nine years from 1999 to 2008
- the people who chose the final destination immigration
- nearby 46,000 approximately 450,000
- ratio figure
Why this response received Band 5.0
The response has a recognizable structure and identifies the broad relationship between immigration and emigration, which provides a partial overview. Its main limitation is serious numerical inaccuracy and unclear labelling: most figures are reported at the wrong scale, net migration is repeatedly confused with the other series, and several comparisons are difficult to interpret. Prioritize reading the axes carefully and organizing accurate comparisons around the three data series.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A broad overview is attempted, but key figures are repeatedly mis-scaled or confused, and the three series are not described reliably.
Check the units and extract a small set of accurate immigration, emigration, and net-migration comparisons before drafting.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing separates the introduction, overview, and details, but progression is weakened by unclear references and disconnected comparisons.
Group details by data series or time period and make each comparison's subject explicit.
Lexical Resource
There is some range in trend vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations such as final destination and net ratio obscure the intended data.
Use standard chart terms such as immigration, emigration, net migration, rose, fell, and remained stable with precise meanings.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts complex sentences, but frequent errors in clause structure, agreement, articles, and verb forms regularly reduce clarity.
Use shorter comparative sentences with a clear subject, verb, figure, and year, then check each clause for agreement and tense.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below gives information about international migration to the UK, 1999-2008.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.