The graph compares the percentage of international and the percentage of UK students gaining second class degrees or better at a major UK University in 2009.
Sample Response
The bar chart presents comparative dataa comparison data between the percentages of UK and international students who achieved second-class degrees or betterachieved second class or higher degree atfrom a UK university in 2009. Overall,It is quite obvious that more international students gained degrees from engineering and technology majors than UK studentslocal British students. Looking at the details,Now getting back to the details, local UK students outperformedpredominated the international students in gaining second-class degrees or betterin terms of completing their second class or higher degrees from that particular university except in electrical engineering and information technologyengineering and IT faculty. For instance, around 80% of UK students80% UK students got their degrees infrom sociology, art history and English literatureliterature while the percentages of international students who achieved honours from the same subjects ranged from 65-70%. More foreign students dominated in majors related to engineering and information technology and approximately 10% more foreign students passed from these two majors than the local students who got their degrees from these faculties in the same year. Interestingly, almost an equal proportion of local and international students got their degrees in nursinggot their degree from nursing (roughly 78%) and accountancy (exactly 60%). Finally, merely 50% international students gained their degrees in international lawlaws at this university, compared within this university against around 70% local students which representsrepresent the largest gap between the proportionsratio of local and international degree-holding studentsdegree holding students in this university.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response gives a clear overall comparison and covers nearly every subject with several useful figures. Its main limitation is numerical precision: the engineering and IT gaps are much larger than stated, and international law is not the largest difference. Prioritise checking each quoted gap and superlative against the chart, then present the overview and details in distinct paragraphs while refining awkward comparisons.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response identifies the broad pattern and reports most categories accurately, but it misstates the engineering and IT gaps and incorrectly labels international law as the largest difference.
Check every comparative claim against the bars, especially gap sizes and any claim using a superlative.
Coherence and Cohesion
The information progresses from an overview to relevant comparisons, but the entire report is presented as one dense paragraph and some linking is mechanical.
Separate the overview and grouped details into clear paragraphs, using transitions only where the relationship between comparisons requires them.
Lexical Resource
There is adequate vocabulary for describing proportions and comparisons, although several collocations such as "predominated the international students" and "passed from these two majors" are unnatural.
Use precise chart language such as "outnumbered," "was higher than," and "the proportion graduating in" instead of forcing less suitable synonyms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the comparisons clearly, but article, agreement, plural, and relative-clause errors recur.
Proofread noun phrases and verb agreement carefully, particularly after percentages and in sentences containing "which."
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph compares the percentage of international and the percentage of UK students gaining second class degrees or better at a major UK University in 2009.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.