The pie charts show the main reasons for migration to and from the UK in 2007.
Sample Response
The Pie chart shows the information reasons for people migrating to and from the UK in 2007. At a Glance, it is seen that the main reason behind the movement in and out of the UK was the Definite job.
The first chart shows a few reasons people come to the UK and settle down. Most people came to the UK for a definite job which is 30%, and the second highest is for formal study, which is 26%. Almost 15% of people came to join the family, and 12% looked for work in the UK. 6% of people do not state the reason, and 11% have other reasons.
Moving ahead, the massive margin of people out from the country for a definite job is almost 29%, and the second big reason to leave the country is looking for work in other countries which was 22%. Moving further, only 4% of people are out from the UK to get a formal study, and 14% of people have other reasons. Almost 18% of people were out of the country without any reason stated, while 13% joined their family.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use plural lowercase Original: Pie chart Suggested revision: pie charts Why it matters: The task contains two charts, and the common noun does not need capitalization.
- 2. Remove faulty collocation Original: information Suggested revision: main Why it matters: Information reasons is not a meaningful English collocation here.
- 3. Fix capitalization Original: Glance Suggested revision: glance Why it matters: Only the opening word of this ordinary phrase should be capitalized.
- 4. Use natural passive Original: it is seen that Suggested revision: it can be seen that Why it matters: The modal form is the conventional grammatical construction for presenting an observation.
- 5. Use precise terminology Original: reason behind the movement in and out of the UK Suggested revision: reason for migration to and from the UK Why it matters: Migration is the precise process represented by the charts.
- 6. Fix article and case Original: the Definite job Suggested revision: a definite job Why it matters: This category takes an indefinite article and lowercase wording.
- 7. Describe immigration precisely Original: people come to the UK and settle down Suggested revision: people immigrated to the UK Why it matters: The replacement uses the correct process and maintains the past-time frame.
- 8. Match chart label Original: join the family Suggested revision: accompany or join family Why it matters: The chart category includes both accompanying and joining family.
- 9. Keep past tense Original: do not state the reason Suggested revision: did not state a reason Why it matters: The response describes figures from 2007, so the verb should remain in the past tense.
- 10. Keep past tense Original: have Suggested revision: had Why it matters: The verb should agree with the past-time reporting used in this paragraph.
- 11. Use clear transition Original: Moving further Suggested revision: In addition Why it matters: This transition links another emigration detail without implying physical movement.
- 12. Use grammatical verb Original: people are out from the UK Suggested revision: people left the UK Why it matters: Left directly and grammatically describes emigration in the past.
Suggested Rewrites
- Pie chart pie charts
- information main
- Glance glance
- it is seen that it can be seen that
- reason behind the movement in and out of the UK reason for migration to and from the UK
- the Definite job a definite job
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response reports all six categories for both migration directions accurately and identifies definite employment as the leading reason in each chart. Its main weakness is the frequent use of awkward or inaccurate expressions, which makes several comparisons sound unnatural despite remaining understandable. Prioritize clear comparative sentences between immigration and emigration, using precise phrases such as proportions emigrating for work or study.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All figures are reported accurately and the leading reason is identified, but direct comparison between the two charts is limited.
Compare the largest differences explicitly, especially formal study at 26% versus 4% and no stated reason at 6% versus 18%.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has clear paragraphing and overall progression, although transitions such as Moving ahead and Moving further are mechanical.
Organize the body around similarities and differences rather than treating immigration and emigration as separate lists.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is sufficient to describe every category, but frequent imprecise collocations make the language sound unnatural.
Replace expressions such as massive margin of people out and get a formal study with proportion emigrating and undertake formal study.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Simple and some complex forms communicate the data, but article, agreement, tense, and sentence-structure errors recur.
Use controlled comparison patterns, such as 30% immigrated for a definite job, compared with 29% who emigrated for this reason.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The pie charts show the main reasons for migration to and from the UK in 2007.
Your response
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