The graph below shows radio and television audiences throughout the day in 1992.
Sample Response
The blue graph shows the television audiences throughout the day. It shows that the percentage of audiences is three percent in early morning but it gradually rises unto ten percent at 8:00 am and maintains the same for the next two hours. There is a slight fall in percentage in next two hours however after that it raises sharp unto twenty percent within the next two hours. After this the graph rises very fast and attains its peak at 10 pm which is about forty five percent. The graph gradually falls down and at 2:00 am it is at five percent. The red graph shows the percentage for radio audiences. Unlike the television one the peak percentage of the radio audiences is at 8:00 am which is about 30 percent. Then it gradually falls and it corresponds with the television one at two pm. After that it gradually falls but with a small increase in percentage at 4:30 to 6:00 pm. The percentage of audience then gradually goes down and at four AM it is the lowest which is near 2 percent. These graphs prove the progressive popularity of television.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Describe the measured group Original: percentage of audiences Suggested revision: percentage of the population watching television Why it matters: The graph measures the share of the population watching television, not a percentage of audiences.
- 2. Add the article Original: in early morning Suggested revision: in the early morning Why it matters: This time expression requires the definite article.
- 3. Use the correct preposition Original: unto Suggested revision: to Why it matters: Use “to” to introduce the level reached.
- 4. Clarify the stable level Original: maintains the same Suggested revision: remains at roughly the same level Why it matters: The revision states more precisely what remains stable.
- 5. Correct the time phrase Original: in next two hours Suggested revision: over the next two hours Why it matters: The definite article and “over” are needed for this duration.
- 6. Punctuate the transition Original: however after that Suggested revision: however, after that Why it matters: A comma should follow “however” in this position.
- 7. Correct verb and adverb Original: raises sharp Suggested revision: rises sharply Why it matters: The intransitive verb is “rises,” and it requires the adverb “sharply.”
- 8. Use the correct preposition Original: unto Suggested revision: to Why it matters: Use “to” before the level reached.
- 9. Use precise trend language Original: rises very fast Suggested revision: rises sharply Why it matters: “Rises sharply” is a more precise expression for a rapid change on a graph.
- 10. Remove redundancy Original: falls down Suggested revision: falls Why it matters: “Falls” already expresses downward movement.
- 11. Name the measure accurately Original: percentage for radio audiences Suggested revision: percentage of the population listening to radio Why it matters: The red line represents the population share listening to radio.
- 12. Use a clear comparison Original: Unlike the television one Suggested revision: Unlike the television audience figure Why it matters: “The television one” is vague in a formal data description.
Suggested Rewrites
- percentage of audiences percentage of the population watching television
- in early morning in the early morning
- unto to
- maintains the same remains at roughly the same level
- in next two hours over the next two hours
- however after that however, after that
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response identifies the contrasting morning radio peak and evening television peak, and its sequence is generally understandable. Its main weakness is Task Achievement: several times and percentages are inaccurate, the overview is unclear, and the final claim about television's progressive popularity is unsupported; the highest priority is to state the two dominant trends accurately and check every selected figure against the graph.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response covers both series and some key peaks, but it lacks a clear overview and includes several inaccurate readings and an unsupported conclusion.
State the overall contrast between radio's morning peak and television's evening dominance, then verify the times and percentages used as support.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information follows a broadly chronological sequence, although the single paragraph and repetitive progression markers make the organization mechanical.
Use a separate overview and group the detailed comparisons into clear radio and television trend paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
There is enough trend vocabulary to describe the graph, but repetition and inaccurate choices such as 'raises sharp' and 'progressive popularity' limit precision.
Use precise forms and collocations such as 'rises sharply,' 'falls gradually,' and 'audience share,' while avoiding unsupported evaluative wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and longer sentences communicates the main meaning, but errors with articles, prepositions, word forms, and punctuation recur.
Check each sentence for correct verb forms, articles, and clause punctuation, especially around contrast words such as 'however.'
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows radio and television audiences throughout the day in 1992.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.