The pie charts compare the expenditure of a school in the UK in three different years over a 20- year period.
Sample Response
These three pie charts show the expenses of a school in the UK in three subsequent years over a 20-year period.
Firstly, it can be seen that the vast majority of the expenditure was on teacher’s salaries. The insurance got the smallest pay in the three different years as well as the resources.
On the other hand, expenditure o furniture and types of equipment in 1981 and 2001 was high, dropping to five per cent in 1991. These could also be seen in 1981 to 1991 where expenses on other workers salaries were high, but in 2001 the expenses on other workers salaries were on the low side.
In conclusion, it is noticeable that the school expenses was more on the teacher’s salaries and a minimal amount spent on insurance for the three different years.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct the time span Original: subsequent years Suggested revision: years at ten-year intervals Why it matters: The charts show 1981, 1991 and 2001 rather than consecutive years.
- 2. Avoid overstating the share Original: vast majority Suggested revision: largest share Why it matters: Teachers' salaries are the largest category but never exceed half of total spending.
- 3. Use the plural possessive Original: on teacher’s salaries Suggested revision: on teachers’ salaries Why it matters: The salaries belong to multiple teachers, so the apostrophe follows the plural noun.
- 4. Remove the unnecessary article Original: The insurance Suggested revision: Insurance Why it matters: Insurance is used here as an uncountable spending category.
- 5. Describe expenditure precisely Original: got the smallest pay Suggested revision: accounted for the smallest share Why it matters: Spending categories account for proportions rather than receiving pay.
- 6. Remove the inaccurate claim Original: as well as the resources Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: Resources were not the smallest category in any of the three years.
- 7. Correct the missing letter Original: o Suggested revision: on Why it matters: The preposition must be spelled 'on' in this phrase.
- 8. Use the chart category Original: types of equipment Suggested revision: equipment Why it matters: The chart labels the category as furniture and equipment without referring to equipment types.
- 9. Report the actual values Original: in 1981 and 2001 was high Suggested revision: was 15% in 1981 and 23% in 2001 Why it matters: Exact figures make the contrast with the 5% recorded in 1991 accurate and clear.
- 10. Clarify the sequence Original: dropping to five per cent Suggested revision: after dropping to 5% Why it matters: The revised connector shows that the 1991 low preceded the rise in 2001.
- 11. Fix the clause structure Original: the school expenses was more on Suggested revision: the school spent more on Why it matters: The revised verb phrase corrects the agreement and collocation errors.
- 12. Use the plural possessive Original: the teacher’s salaries Suggested revision: teachers’ salaries Why it matters: The plural possessive form is required because the salaries belong to several teachers.
Suggested Rewrites
- subsequent years years at ten-year intervals
- vast majority largest share
- on teacher’s salaries on teachers’ salaries
- The insurance Insurance
- got the smallest pay accounted for the smallest share
- as well as the resources Delete
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response identifies the dominant spending category and some broad changes, and its paragraphing gives the report a recognizable structure. However, coverage is thin and occasionally unclear: several important movements and figures are omitted, one comparison involving resources is misleading, and the response is under length. Prioritize a fuller overview and two data-rich comparison paragraphs that accurately track all five categories across the three years.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response identifies teachers' salaries as the largest item and notes some furniture and staffing changes, but it omits most figures, mischaracterizes resources, and is under length.
Add accurate comparisons for all five categories, especially the rise in insurance and the changing shares for resources and teachers' salaries.
Coherence and Cohesion
The report has a clear introduction, body, and concluding overview, but progression is weakened by vague referencing and a convoluted third paragraph.
Group details by clear trend patterns and replace references such as "These" with the exact spending categories.
Lexical Resource
The response uses some relevant spending vocabulary, but its range is limited and several choices are imprecise, including "insurance got the smallest pay".
Use precise chart language such as "accounted for," "rose to," and "fell from" with the correct category names.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mixture of simple and complex structures is attempted, but frequent agreement, article, possessive, and sentence-completion errors reduce control.
Check plural possessives and subject-verb agreement, and rewrite incomplete clauses as fully controlled comparative sentences.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The pie charts compare the expenditure of a school in the UK in three different years over a 20- year period.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.