The graphs below show changes in spending habits of people in the UK between 1971 and 2001.
Sample Response
The pie charts illustrate the changes in household spending in the UK between 1971 and 2001. It is clear that the cost of petrol made up the largest proportion of the household spending in 1971 while expenditure on cars was the greatest share of the household spending in 2001.
Firstly, British citizens spent more than a third of their money on petrol and almost a third on furniture followed by money spent in restaurants, which was precisely a quarter. The smallest proportion of expenditures was the cost on computers with only seven percent in 1971.
Secondly, after 30 years in 2001, British citizens spent significantly less money on petrol, furniture and restaurants- 8%, 8%, 14% respectively. In comparison to 1971, they spent nearly double on computers. The greatest proportion of household spending was on cars with more than 40%. The proportion of expenditure on foods were 14% and for books it was vanishingly small, only one percent in 2001.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct largest category Original: the cost of petrol Suggested revision: food Why it matters: Food was the largest 1971 category at 44%, while petrol represented only 10%.
- 2. Use chart collocation Original: greatest Suggested revision: largest Why it matters: Largest share is the conventional phrasing for the biggest pie-chart segment.
- 3. Use time label Original: Firstly Suggested revision: In 1971 Why it matters: A year label makes the paragraph's time frame clearer than a sequencing adverb.
- 4. Correct petrol figure Original: more than a third of their money on petrol Suggested revision: 10% of their money on petrol Why it matters: The 1971 chart assigns petrol 10%, not more than one third.
- 5. Correct furniture figure Original: almost a third on furniture Suggested revision: 9% on furniture Why it matters: Furniture accounted for 9% of spending in 1971.
- 6. Correct restaurant figure Original: precisely a quarter Suggested revision: 7% Why it matters: Restaurants represented 7% in 1971, not one quarter.
- 7. Use uncountable noun Original: proportion of expenditures Suggested revision: share of expenditure Why it matters: Expenditure is uncountable when referring to spending as a whole.
- 8. Fix collocation Original: cost Suggested revision: spending Why it matters: Spending on is the appropriate expression for this budget category.
- 9. Correct computer figure Original: seven percent Suggested revision: 2% Why it matters: Computers accounted for 2% of spending in 1971.
- 10. Clarify time shift Original: Secondly, after 30 years in 2001 Suggested revision: In 2001, 30 years later Why it matters: The revised transition states the comparison period directly and naturally.
- 11. Correct change directions Original: significantly less money on petrol, furniture and restaurants Suggested revision: slightly less on petrol and furniture but twice as much on restaurants Why it matters: Petrol and furniture fell only slightly, while restaurants rose from 7% to 14%.
- 12. Correct computer change Original: nearly double on computers Suggested revision: six times as much on computers Why it matters: Computer spending rose from 2% to 12%, a sixfold increase.
Suggested Rewrites
- the cost of petrol food
- greatest largest
- Firstly In 1971
- more than a third of their money on petrol 10% of their money on petrol
- almost a third on furniture 9% on furniture
- precisely a quarter 7%
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response is clearly organised by year and communicates the 2001 distribution reasonably well, especially the dominance of spending on cars. However, its account of 1971 is fundamentally inaccurate: food, rather than petrol, was the largest category, and several other percentages are greatly overstated. The highest priority is to verify every selected figure against the charts and build the overview around the true shift from food to cars.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The 2001 figures are mostly accurate, but the overview and almost every reported 1971 figure contradict the chart, substantially weakening task achievement.
Correct the 1971 data and highlight the central change from food at 44% in 1971 to cars at 43% in 2001.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a clear introduction, overview, and year-by-year progression, though 'Firstly' and 'Secondly' create somewhat mechanical links.
Group the details around the largest changes and use comparative links that show relationships between the two years.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is sufficiently varied for the task, but several collocations, including 'cost on computers' and 'proportion of expenditures,' are awkward.
Prefer natural combinations such as 'spending on computers,' 'expenditure on food,' and 'accounted for.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentences is generally controlled, with occasional agreement and punctuation errors that do not impede meaning.
Improve plural agreement and punctuation in lists, particularly in constructions such as 'the proportions ... were 14% and 1%.'
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graphs below show changes in spending habits of people in the UK between 1971 and 2001.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.