The graphs show changes in the spending habits of people in the UK between 1971 and 2001.
Sample Response
The provided two pie charts compared the english citizen six different spending habits in the UK from 1971 to 2001.
Overall, in the past times, main habits was foods and car, whereas computer was lowest priorities. In 2001, cars interest was rose and food was dropped.
In 1971, the majority of spending habits was food, 44% of citizens was foodie wile only 2% of people preference was computer. A tenth proportion of spending habits had petrol although, a half percentage than food was for cars. Books and restaurants choice was less, likely same 6% and 7% respectively. Choosing furniture for spending time was only below tenth percentage people choice.
After three decades, percentage of cars as spending time was jump up dramatically and percentage became nearly double. With same proportion foods and restaurants was stood at same position where we can clearly see the fall in foods. Moreover, for patrol and furniture had no big changes, likely same as in 1971. Small proportion od people had interesting on books, its 1% however, computer as habits for spare time was increased 10%
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct determiner order Original: The provided two Suggested revision: The two Why it matters: The numeral should directly precede the noun in this phrase.
- 2. Use present tense Original: compared Suggested revision: compare Why it matters: Present simple is conventional when stating what charts show.
- 3. Clarify chart categories Original: the english citizen six different spending habits in the UK Suggested revision: six categories of spending in the UK Why it matters: The charts show spending categories, not habits belonging to one citizen.
- 4. Describe largest share Original: the majority of spending habits Suggested revision: the largest share of spending Why it matters: The chart reports proportions of expenditure rather than a majority of habits.
- 5. Interpret percentage correctly Original: 44% of citizens was foodie Suggested revision: food accounted for 44% of spending Why it matters: The percentage refers to expenditure on food, not the proportion of people who liked food.
- 6. Correct spelling Original: wile Suggested revision: while Why it matters: The conjunction is misspelled.
- 7. Report computer share Original: 2% of people preference was computer Suggested revision: computers accounted for only 2% Why it matters: The figure represents the share of spending on computers, not people's preference.
- 8. Use precise comparison Original: likely same 6% and 7% Suggested revision: similar, at 6% and 7% Why it matters: The figures are close rather than the same, and 'likely' is inappropriate for recorded data.
- 9. Describe expenditure Original: Choosing furniture for spending time Suggested revision: Spending on furniture Why it matters: The chart concerns money spent, not furniture chosen for spending time.
- 10. Repair proportion phrase Original: only below tenth percentage people choice Suggested revision: just below one tenth of total spending Why it matters: This expresses the proportion with a grammatical noun phrase.
- 11. Name spending share Original: percentage of cars as spending time Suggested revision: share spent on cars Why it matters: The chart measures expenditure on cars rather than time spent on them.
- 12. Fix verb form Original: was jump up dramatically Suggested revision: jumped dramatically Why it matters: Simple past requires the finite form 'jumped' without 'was'.
Suggested Rewrites
- The provided two The two
- compared compare
- the english citizen six different spending habits in the UK six categories of spending in the UK
- the majority of spending habits the largest share of spending
- 44% of citizens was foodie food accounted for 44% of spending
- wile while
Why this response received Band 6.0
The strongest aspect is the accurate selection of the main changes and supporting percentages, including the rise in car and computer spending and the falls in food and books. Organisation by year is clear, but frequent grammatical and collocational errors make many sentences awkward; the highest-priority improvement is to describe spending categories with conventional language and build accurate comparative sentences around the figures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response provides an appropriate overview and accurately reports nearly all major proportions and changes across the two years.
Make the overview more precise by stating that food was dominant in 1971 whereas cars became dominant in 2001, with exact category terminology.
Coherence and Cohesion
A clear introduction, overview and chronological body structure support progression, although faulty connectors and crowded sentences disrupt the flow.
Use one comparison per sentence and connect ideas with accurately punctuated devices such as whereas, while and by contrast.
Lexical Resource
There is enough vocabulary to describe proportions and change, but frequent spelling and collocation errors such as foodie, patrol and spending time reduce accuracy.
Use consistent task-specific phrases such as expenditure on food, the proportion spent on cars and spending on computers increased.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent errors in agreement, verb forms, articles and sentence construction occur throughout, sometimes forcing the reader to reconstruct the intended comparison.
Build each data sentence around a controlled pattern such as spending on cars rose from 22% to 43%, then check subject-verb agreement.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graphs show changes in the spending habits of people in the UK between 1971 and 2001.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.