The graphs show changes in the spending habits of people in the UK between 1971 and 2001.
Sample Response
The given pie charts depict the information about the expenditure of people on their habits in the UK from 1971 to 2001. Having a quick glance over the chart, it is sawing that the maximum amount spent on food and cars was 44% and 22% and the minimum was expenditure on computers (2%).In 1971, surprisingly after 30 years, the highest expenditure was on same habits by people and the figure was 14% and 43% but least expenditure was on the book, only 1%. People spend 7% on the restaurant, and the proportion gets double after three decades.
Moving towards the rest of the description, it is seen that the percentage of expenditure on petrol was just below the one-tenth in both years that was 10% and 8% respectively. The spending on furniture was almost similar, in the former year, the per centum of spending was 9%, and it was inclined by merely 1% in a later year. In 1971, 6% of expenditure was done by people on books; however, people spent 12% on the computer in 2001. Thus, the interest of people towards books and restaurants as a leisure activity was decline.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use a concise verb Original: depict the information about Suggested revision: show Why it matters: The shorter verb expresses the chart's function directly.
- 2. Describe spending naturally Original: the expenditure of people on their habits Suggested revision: people's spending patterns Why it matters: The original phrase is unnatural and does not name the categories clearly.
- 3. Use past tense Original: spend Suggested revision: spent Why it matters: The sentence reports figures from 1971 and therefore requires the past tense.
- 4. Name the category Original: on the restaurant Suggested revision: on restaurants Why it matters: The chart category is restaurants in general, not one restaurant.
- 5. Use the correct verb Original: gets double Suggested revision: doubled Why it matters: The simple past verb correctly describes the change from 7% to 14%.
- 6. Use a concise transition Original: Moving towards the rest of the description Suggested revision: Turning to the remaining categories Why it matters: This transition states the paragraph's purpose more directly.
- 7. Use natural proportion wording Original: percentage of expenditure on petrol Suggested revision: proportion spent on petrol Why it matters: This is a more natural way to name the charted percentage.
- 8. Match the figures Original: just below the one-tenth in both years Suggested revision: about one tenth in both years Why it matters: The 1971 figure is exactly 10%, while the 2001 figure is 8%.
- 9. Attach the figures clearly Original: that was 10% and 8% Suggested revision: at 10% and 8% Why it matters: The prepositional phrase connects the two values correctly to the preceding proportion.
- 10. Use standard terminology Original: per centum Suggested revision: percentage Why it matters: Percentage is the standard modern term for this data.
- 11. Correct the direction Original: it was inclined Suggested revision: it declined Why it matters: Furniture spending fell from 9% to 8%, so the direction was downward.
- 12. Use percentage points Original: by merely 1% Suggested revision: by one percentage point Why it matters: A change from 9% to 8% is one percentage point, not a 1% relative decrease.
Suggested Rewrites
- depict the information about show
- the expenditure of people on their habits people's spending patterns
- spend spent
- on the restaurant on restaurants
- gets double doubled
- Moving towards the rest of the description Turning to the remaining categories
Why this response received Band 5.0
The response includes many correct individual percentages and notices changes in restaurants, petrol, computers, and books. However, the overview is unclear, the two years are confused in places, and the statements about furniture and the final trend are inaccurate. The priority is to establish the main shift from food to cars first, then organise accurate 1971-to-2001 comparisons by category in clearly controlled sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
Although many figures are reported correctly, the response does not clearly summarise the main changes and includes inaccurate claims about furniture and restaurant spending.
State the dominant overall shift from food to cars and verify the direction of every increase or decrease before adding supporting figures.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is some sequencing of categories, but the two dense paragraphs, confused time references, and abrupt transitions weaken progression.
Use an introduction and overview followed by two body paragraphs that group the largest changes separately from the smaller categories.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is adequate for describing expenditure, but frequent inaccurate or unnatural choices such as sawing, per centum, and was decline reduce precision.
Use reliable chart phrases such as accounted for, rose to, fell by, and remained broadly stable.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent errors in tense, agreement, articles, word forms, and sentence boundaries sometimes make the intended comparisons difficult to follow.
Write shorter comparison sentences and check that each one has a clear subject, correctly inflected verb, and accurate time reference.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graphs show changes in the spending habits of people in the UK between 1971 and 2001.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.