The chart shows student expenditure over a three-year period in the United Kingdom.
Sample Response
The chart shows the changes which took place in student spending in the United Kingdom during/over the three-year period from 1996 to 1999.
Students spent 3% less on accommodation, which fell from 23% to 20% of total expenditure, and there was a 2% decrease in spending on food, bills and household goods, which fell from 20% to 18%. At the same time course expenditure went down by 3% from 10% to 7%. Children, who constituted 1% of students’ expenditure in 1996, are not represented in 1999.
On the other hand, there was a 5% growth in spending on entertainment, which stood at 26% of total expenditure in 1996 but rose to 31% in 1999. Spending on other non-essential items and credit repayments grew by 4% to make up 16% of total expenditure. Spending on essential travel went up by 3% while non-essential travel underwent a 1% fall.
Overall, with the exception of expenditure on travel, the most significant general change was a shift from/in spending on essential items to spending on non-essential items.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Choose one preposition Original: during/over Suggested revision: over Why it matters: The slash presents editing alternatives rather than a finished expression.
- 2. Use percentage points Original: spent 3% less on accommodation Suggested revision: allocated 3 percentage points less to accommodation Why it matters: The share falls from 23% to 20%, which is a three-percentage-point decrease.
- 3. Use percentage points Original: a 2% decrease Suggested revision: a 2-percentage-point decrease Why it matters: A change from 20% to 18% is two percentage points, not a 2% relative decrease.
- 4. Add introductory comma Original: At the same time Suggested revision: At the same time, Why it matters: A comma should separate this introductory linking phrase from the main clause.
- 5. Use percentage points Original: went down by 3% Suggested revision: went down by 3 percentage points Why it matters: The movement from 10% to 7% is a change of three percentage points.
- 6. Use percentage points Original: a 5% growth Suggested revision: a 5-percentage-point rise Why it matters: The increase from 26% to 31% is five percentage points.
- 7. Use percentage points Original: grew by 4% Suggested revision: rose by 4 percentage points Why it matters: The other-items share moves from 12% to 16%, a four-percentage-point rise.
- 8. Use percentage points Original: went up by 3% Suggested revision: rose by about 3 percentage points Why it matters: The chart compares percentage shares, so the absolute change should be expressed in percentage points.
- 9. Remove editing alternative Original: shift from/in Suggested revision: shift from Why it matters: Only “from” correctly begins the contrast with the later phrase “to spending on non-essential items.”
- 10. Sentence rewrite Original: Children, who constituted 1% of students’ expenditure in 1996, are not represented in 1999. Suggested revision: Spending on children, which accounted for 1% of total expenditure in 1996, was not represented in 1999. Why it matters: The expenditure category, rather than children themselves, accounts for the percentage shown.
Suggested Rewrites
- during/over over
- spent 3% less on accommodation allocated 3 percentage points less to accommodation
- a 2% decrease a 2-percentage-point decrease
- At the same time At the same time,
- went down by 3% went down by 3 percentage points
- a 5% growth a 5-percentage-point rise
Why this response received Band 8.5
The response gives comprehensive and accurate coverage of the chart, grouping decreases and increases effectively and ending with a perceptive overview of the shift toward non-essential spending. Organisation and language are consistently strong. The main weakness is the presence of unresolved alternative wording marked by slashes; selecting one finished expression in each case would make the report fully polished and presentation-ready.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All expenditure categories are covered accurately, and the overview clearly identifies the central shift from essential to non-essential items.
Preserve this comprehensive selection while expressing percentage changes explicitly as percentage-point changes for maximum precision.
Coherence and Cohesion
The report is logically sequenced into declining and rising categories, with cohesive comparisons and a clear concluding overview.
Remove the slash-separated drafting alternatives so the progression reads as a completely finished report.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise vocabulary describes changes effectively, including “constituted,” “credit repayments,” and “underwent a fall.”
Choose one final collocation wherever alternatives such as “from/in” appear rather than leaving both in the text.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are handled with strong control and accurate punctuation throughout nearly the entire response.
Resolve “during/over” and “from/in” into single grammatical choices to eliminate the only conspicuous surface flaws.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart shows student expenditure over a three-year period in the United Kingdom.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.