The chart shows student expenditure over a three-year period in the United Kingdom.
This response is estimated at Band 8.5. Can you write a better one?
Write yours and get clear feedback on all four criteria.
- Closest to official scores
- What to fix on each criterion
- Feedback in about 20 seconds · free
Sample Response
The chart shows the changes which took place in student spending in the United Kingdom overduring/over the three-year period from 1996 to 1999.
Students allocated 3 percentage points less to accommodationspent 3% less on accommodation, which fell from 23% to 20% of total expenditure, and there was a 2-percentage-point decreasea 2% decrease in spending on food, bills and household goods, which fell from 20% to 18%. At the same time,At the same time course expenditure went down by 3 percentage pointswent down by 3% from 10% to 7%. Children, who constituted 1% of students’ expenditure in 1996, are not represented in 1999.
On the other hand, there was a 5-percentage-point risea 5% growth in spending on entertainment, which stood at 26% of total expenditure in 1996 but rose to 31% in 1999. Spending on other non-essential items and credit repayments rose by 4 percentage pointsgrew by 4% to make up 16% of total expenditure. Spending on essential travel rose by about 3 percentage pointswent up by 3% while non-essential travel underwent a 1% fall.
Overall, with the exception of expenditure on travel, the most significant general change was a shift fromshift from/in spending on essential items to spending on non-essential items.
Why this response received Band 8.5
The response gives comprehensive and accurate coverage of the chart, grouping decreases and increases effectively and ending with a perceptive overview of the shift toward non-essential spending. Organisation and language are consistently strong. The main weakness is the presence of unresolved alternative wording marked by slashes; selecting one finished expression in each case would make the report fully polished and presentation-ready.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All expenditure categories are covered accurately, and the overview clearly identifies the central shift from essential to non-essential items.
Preserve this comprehensive selection while expressing percentage changes explicitly as percentage-point changes for maximum precision.
Coherence and Cohesion
The report is logically sequenced into declining and rising categories, with cohesive comparisons and a clear concluding overview.
Remove the slash-separated drafting alternatives so the progression reads as a completely finished report.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise vocabulary describes changes effectively, including “constituted,” “credit repayments,” and “underwent a fall.”
Choose one final collocation wherever alternatives such as “from/in” appear rather than leaving both in the text.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are handled with strong control and accurate punctuation throughout nearly the entire response.
Resolve “during/over” and “from/in” into single grammatical choices to eliminate the only conspicuous surface flaws.