The chart shows student expenditure over a three-year period in the United Kingdom. Student expenditure (aged under 26 in higher education), United Kingdom *
Sample Response
The bar graph compares the expenses of students who were less than 26 years old and were in higher studies in the UK. It was presented based on the ‘Student Income and Expenditure Survey’ conducted by the Department for Education and Employment. The data is for the years 1996 and 1999 and the expenditures were classified into 7 main categories. Overall, expenses by those students on food, course fees, bills, accommodations and non-essential travels decreased whereas the amount spent on entertainment, credit repayment, and essential travels increased. As the data suggests, entertainment drained the highest amount of money both in 1996 and 1999 and the expenses on food, accommodation, household goods, non-essential travels and course decreased in 1999. Students in the UK spent 26% for entertainment in 1996 and after three years, it increased to 31%. They spent 23% for their accommodation in 1996 and it dipped to 20% in 1999. A similar pattern can be observed for the food, household goods, bills, course cost and non-essential travel for which students spent fewer percentages of their money. About 1% of total expenses were for children in 1996, possibly by students who were also parents. Moreover, in 1996, the expense for courses was 10% and that decreased to 7% after three years. Non-essential consumer items and credit repayments were categories in ‘Other’ and that comprised 12% cost in 1996 whereas it increased by 4% in 1999.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use expenditure Original: expenses of students Suggested revision: expenditure by students Why it matters: "Expenditure" is the more precise term for the proportions shown.
- 2. Use concise age phrase Original: less than 26 years old Suggested revision: under 26 Why it matters: "Under 26" is the concise standard expression for this age group.
- 3. Use education term Original: studies Suggested revision: education Why it matters: "Higher education" is the standard term for university-level study.
- 4. Fix tense and form Original: It was presented based on Suggested revision: It is based on Why it matters: The present simple and direct construction correctly describe the chart's source.
- 5. Correct category count Original: 7 Suggested revision: eight Why it matters: The chart displays eight categories, including children and Other.
- 6. Use uncountable noun Original: accommodations Suggested revision: accommodation Why it matters: "Accommodation" is uncountable in this context.
- 7. Use singular travel Original: travels Suggested revision: travel Why it matters: "Travel" is normally uncountable when referring to this spending category.
- 8. Use singular travel Original: travels Suggested revision: travel Why it matters: The category name uses the uncountable noun "travel."
- 9. Use neutral reporting Original: entertainment drained Suggested revision: entertainment accounted for Why it matters: "Accounted for" neutrally describes the largest share without implying waste.
- 10. Use expenditure Original: the expenses on food Suggested revision: expenditure on food Why it matters: The singular mass noun is more natural for reporting category shares.
- 11. Fix category forms Original: non-essential travels and course Suggested revision: non-essential travel and course expenditure Why it matters: These singular category labels accurately match the chart.
- 12. Use spend on Original: for Suggested revision: on Why it matters: The correct preposition after "spent" is "on."
Suggested Rewrites
- expenses of students expenditure by students
- less than 26 years old under 26
- studies education
- It was presented based on It is based on
- 7 eight
- accommodations accommodation
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response provides a clear, largely accurate overview and supports it with well-selected percentage comparisons, while showing a good range of complex sentence forms. Its main weaknesses are the single-block organisation and a few imprecise or unsupported details, including calling the chart seven categories and speculating about student parents; prioritise clearer paragraphing and strictly objective reporting of the visual data.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The main increases and decreases are accurately summarised and supported with relevant figures, despite a wrong category count and minor unsupported speculation.
State that eight categories are shown and report the children category objectively without inferring that the students were parents.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses logically from overview to examples, but the lack of paragraph breaks makes the report visually and structurally dense.
Use separate paragraphs for the overview, declining categories, and increasing categories so comparisons are easier to follow.
Lexical Resource
The response displays a good range of topic vocabulary, though several collocations and plural forms are imprecise.
Prefer natural phrases such as higher education, spending on accommodation, and a smaller proportion rather than fewer percentages.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are used confidently and meaning remains clear, with only occasional errors in articles, prepositions, and noun forms.
Polish preposition choices and uncountable nouns, particularly in phrases describing spending on travel and accommodation.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart shows student expenditure over a three-year period in the United Kingdom. Student expenditure (aged under 26 in higher education), United Kingdom *
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.