The chart shows requests for information at a tourist office in the United Kingdom from January to June.
Sample Response
The chart depicts how many inquiries regarding information a tourist centre received in the United Kingdom from January to June.
Overall, inquiries at the tourist office happened in 3 forms: in person, via email or by telephone. Inquiries through telephone and in-person increased over time, whilst requests for information by letter or email decreased over time.
Initially, in-person inquiries were the lowest in January, near 400, whereas information requests via letter or email and via telephone were above 600 in January. However, in-person requests increased gradually from the month of January to June and reached more than 1800 in June.
Telephonic queries initially showed fluctuation from January to April. After that, it increased gradually from April to June, but it was less as compared to in-person inquiries. Inquiries via letters remained steady ( between 600 to 800) until march. After that, it decreased gradually and reached nearly 400 inquiries in June.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove redundancy Original: inquiries regarding information Suggested revision: information inquiries Why it matters: An inquiry already means a request for information, so the original phrase is redundant.
- 2. Describe inquiry methods Original: happened in 3 forms Suggested revision: were made in three ways Why it matters: Inquiries are made through communication methods rather than happening in forms.
- 3. Match chart category Original: via email Suggested revision: by letter or email Why it matters: The visual combines letters and emails as one inquiry method.
- 4. Fix parallel phrasing Original: Inquiries through telephone and in-person Suggested revision: Telephone and in-person inquiries Why it matters: The revision uses parallel modifiers for the two types of inquiries.
- 5. Correct January figure Original: near 400 Suggested revision: about 450 Why it matters: The in-person series begins at approximately 450 inquiries in January.
- 6. Use concise trend language Original: Telephonic queries initially showed fluctuation Suggested revision: Telephone inquiries initially fluctuated Why it matters: The revision uses the standard chart label and a concise trend verb.
- 7. Clarify the subject Original: it increased gradually Suggested revision: the number increased steadily Why it matters: The singular pronoun does not agree clearly with the preceding plural noun queries.
- 8. Fix comparison form Original: less as compared to Suggested revision: lower than Why it matters: Lower than is the correct concise form for comparing numbers of inquiries.
- 9. Correct range wording Original: between 600 to 800 Suggested revision: between 700 and 750 Why it matters: From January through March, letter and email inquiries stayed between roughly 700 and 750.
- 10. Match task wording Original: centre Suggested revision: office Why it matters: Tourist office matches the location identified in the task and chart.
- 11. Use concise category Original: requests for information by letter or email Suggested revision: letter and email inquiries Why it matters: The concise noun phrase avoids repetition and preserves the chart category.
- 12. Improve parallel wording Original: information requests via letter or email and via telephone Suggested revision: letter/email and telephone inquiries Why it matters: Parallel category labels make the comparison easier to follow.
Suggested Rewrites
- inquiries regarding information information inquiries
- happened in 3 forms were made in three ways
- via email by letter or email
- Inquiries through telephone and in-person Telephone and in-person inquiries
- near 400 about 450
- Telephonic queries initially showed fluctuation Telephone inquiries initially fluctuated
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response presents a clear overview of all three enquiry methods and accurately identifies their main upward and downward trends. Its main limitation is that the detail is somewhat general, especially for telephone enquiries, and several expressions are awkward or grammatically loose. The priority is to add a few precise comparisons at the main crossover points while maintaining accurate sentence structure and data language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview identifies the three main trends, and the supporting details are accurate but somewhat limited for the telephone series.
Add precise values and crossover comparisons, such as in-person enquiries overtaking letters in March and telephone enquiries in April.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is clearly organized into an introduction, overview, and two focused detail paragraphs with logical progression.
Make references more explicit so pronouns such as 'it' clearly identify the enquiry method being discussed.
Lexical Resource
Relevant vocabulary is varied sufficiently to describe changes, though repetition and awkward combinations reduce precision.
Prefer natural forms such as 'enquiries by telephone' and 'between 600 and 800' while avoiding repeated paraphrases of 'inquiries.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses both simple and complex sentences with generally clear meaning, but recurring agreement, capitalization, and phrasing errors remain.
Check singular-plural reference, comparative structures, and capitalization, particularly around 'queries ... it increased' and 'March.'
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart shows requests for information at a tourist office in the United Kingdom from January to June.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.