The graph gives information about the percentage of the population if four different Asian countries living in cities between 1970 and 2020 with additional predictions for 2030 and 2040.
Sample Response
The line chart delineates population trends as they relate to urban residency in four Asian countries starting in 1970 with projections through 2040. Looking from an overall perspective, it is readily apparent that living in urban areas will increase in each nation, particularly Malaysia and the Philippines. By the end of the period, Malaysia will have by far the greatest proportion of their population living in cities.
In 1970, the percentages for urban residents in the Philippines and Malaysia were nearly equal (31% and 30% for each), similar to the data for Thailand and Indonesia (19% and 12%, respectively). Over the next twenty years, Malaysia’s percentage rose and fluctuated, switching relative positions with the Philippines around the 40% marker before beginning a dramatic surge in 1990 that is anticipated to continue and plateau at just over 80% by 2040. The Philippines, in contrast, declined moderately after 1980, though this figure will likely recover and end at a high of above 50% in 2040.
The statistics for urban residency in Indonesia have grown considerably, overtaking Thailand in 2000 (at 28%) and the Philippines in 2010 (at 42%). This pattern is projected to persist with the final figure the second highest among all nations at 55%. Lastly, Thailand has experienced the most gradual and consistent increase to reach approximately 30% in the present day, with a more rapid rise to over 40% expected over the next 17 years.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Identify the stronger rise Original: particularly Malaysia and the Philippines Suggested revision: particularly Malaysia and Indonesia Why it matters: Indonesia, rather than the Philippines, records the other especially large overall increase.
- 2. Fix pronoun agreement Original: their Suggested revision: its Why it matters: Malaysia is singular and therefore requires the singular possessive pronoun.
- 3. Correct the paired values Original: (31% and 30% for each) Suggested revision: (about 32% and 30%, respectively) Why it matters: The graph shows different values for the Philippines and Malaysia, so 'for each' is inaccurate.
- 4. Correct the trend Original: rose and fluctuated Suggested revision: rose steadily Why it matters: Malaysia increases at every plotted point and does not fluctuate.
- 5. Correct the turning point Original: 1980 Suggested revision: 1990 Why it matters: The Philippines rises to its peak in 1990 before beginning to decline.
- 6. State the endpoint precisely Original: end at a high of above 50% Suggested revision: reach about 55% Why it matters: The 2040 projection is approximately 55%, and 'a high of above' is imprecise.
- 7. Name the plotted year Original: in the present day Suggested revision: in 2020 Why it matters: The graph provides a value for 2020, so a fixed year is clearer and accurate.
- 8. Use the chart endpoint Original: over the next 17 years Suggested revision: by 2040 Why it matters: The projection runs from 2020 to 2040, not for a shifting seventeen-year period.
- 9. Use direct chart language Original: delineates population trends as they relate to urban residency Suggested revision: shows the proportions of people living in cities Why it matters: This wording states the measured variable more directly and precisely.
- 10. Make overview concise Original: Looking from an overall perspective Suggested revision: Overall Why it matters: A concise overview marker avoids unnecessary wording while preserving the meaning.
- 11. Distinguish forecast years Original: starting in 1970 with projections through 2040 Suggested revision: from 1970 to 2040, including projections for 2030 and 2040 Why it matters: The replacement distinguishes the two forecast years from the historical data.
- 12. Clarify the parallel comparison Original: similar to the data for Thailand and Indonesia Suggested revision: as were those for Thailand and Indonesia Why it matters: This form clearly links the second pair of percentages to the first comparison.
Suggested Rewrites
- particularly Malaysia and the Philippines particularly Malaysia and Indonesia
- their its
- (31% and 30% for each) (about 32% and 30%, respectively)
- rose and fluctuated rose steadily
- 1980 1990
- end at a high of above 50% reach about 55%
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response is fluently organized and demonstrates strong vocabulary and grammatical control, with a clear identification of Malaysia as the final leader. The main limitation is data accuracy: several dates, crossover points, and final values are misstated, and the overview overemphasizes growth in the Philippines. The highest-priority improvement is to verify each plotted value and turning point before selecting comparisons.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response provides an overview and covers all four countries, but several important trends and figures do not match the graph.
Correct the Philippines' decline to after 1990, Indonesia's crossover and 2040 value, and the relative strength of each country's growth.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses clearly from the overview to two logically grouped detail paragraphs with effective linking.
Keep each country's chronology strictly sequential so crossover dates and later projections are easier to verify.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is broad, flexible, and generally precise, with effective language for trends, comparisons, and projections.
Avoid potentially misleading choices such as fluctuated for Malaysia's steady rise and present day for the fixed year 2020.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide variety of complex sentence forms is handled with strong control and only minor lapses.
Maintain precise agreement in references to singular countries, such as Malaysia and its population.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph gives information about the percentage of the population if four different Asian countries living in cities between 1970 and 2020 with additional predictions for 2030 and 2040.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.