The bar chart shows the monthly spending in dollars of a family in the USA on three items in 2010.
Sample Response
The bar chart illustrates dollars consumed by families in three different categories in four months in 2010.
Overall, it is immediately apparent from the chart the highest monthly expenditure by the family in the US was on clothing in April, while in January, clothing was the least popular item among the individuals.
In detail, the average expenditure line was stable in the first two months nearby, at $370, and nominal inclination was observed and surged by above $400 in March. Therefore, this ratio gradually declined below $300 in the final month. Turning to the details, families in the USA spent approximately $500 on the food section, which soared by nearly five $580 in February. However, in March, individuals were not interested in the food section, and outlay plummeted to nearly $400 in 2010. moreover, this consumption took a nosedive to $300 in April month.
Furthermore, there was some fluctuation observed in the clothing section. In the US, approximately $200 was utilised by families on closing at the beginning of the year, and this amount skyrocketed to nearly $600 in February. After that, in March, only 340 dollars were spent by an individual on the clothing section. Interestingly, this number hit its peak in April of more than $600 used on clothing items. Therefore, gas was the most prominent source among the family in the USA, beginning at nearly $370 spent on gas, and this value plunged to approximately $200. After a month, this ratio climbed and reached $580 used on the gas section.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Describe expenditure Original: dollars consumed by families Suggested revision: monthly spending by a family Why it matters: Money is spent rather than consumed, and the chart concerns one family.
- 2. Add reporting clause Original: from the chart the highest Suggested revision: from the chart that the highest Why it matters: That is required to introduce the clause after apparent.
- 3. Avoid unsupported popularity Original: least popular item Suggested revision: category with the lowest expenditure Why it matters: The chart measures spending and does not show how popular an item was.
- 4. Use correct subject Original: among the individuals Suggested revision: for the family Why it matters: The visual reports the spending of a family, not unspecified individuals.
- 5. Name the measure Original: Therefore, this ratio Suggested revision: The average Why it matters: Therefore does not express this sequence, and ratio is the wrong reference.
- 6. Describe single fall Original: gradually declined Suggested revision: fell Why it matters: The graph shows one change from March to April rather than a gradual multi-stage decline.
- 7. Use natural collocation Original: on the food section Suggested revision: on food Why it matters: Spending on food is the standard expression.
- 8. Correct February value Original: which soared by nearly five $580 Suggested revision: which rose to approximately $550 Why it matters: The phrase is ungrammatical and the February food bar is about $550.
- 9. Capitalize sentence start Original: moreover Suggested revision: Moreover Why it matters: A word beginning a new sentence requires a capital letter.
- 10. Clarify reference Original: this consumption Suggested revision: food spending Why it matters: The replacement identifies the category and measured quantity directly.
- 11. Remove redundant noun Original: April month Suggested revision: April Why it matters: The month name already expresses the time period.
- 12. Use direct construction Original: there was some fluctuation observed Suggested revision: clothing expenditure fluctuated Why it matters: The original passive construction is awkward and unnecessarily indirect.
Suggested Rewrites
- dollars consumed by families monthly spending by a family
- from the chart the highest from the chart that the highest
- least popular item category with the lowest expenditure
- among the individuals for the family
- Therefore, this ratio The average
- gradually declined fell
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response identifies the standout peak for clothing and describes most monthly movements, while its basic paragraph sequence is easy to follow. However, several figures are approximate or confused, the gas series is incompletely sequenced, and frequent unnatural word choices make comparisons less precise. Prioritise organising each category chronologically and using straightforward language such as spending rose or fell, supported by carefully checked figures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overview identifies a valid key feature and all categories are addressed, but several values are inaccurate and the gas trend is incomplete.
Report each series across all four months with checked figures and highlight the contrasting April outcomes for food, gas, and clothing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing provides a basic progression, but ideas are crowded together and connectors such as Therefore are often used mechanically.
Give each category a clear chronological sequence and use linking words only where they express the actual relationship.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts varied trend vocabulary, but frequent miscollocations such as dollars consumed, interested in food, and gas source reduce precision.
Use conventional chart terms consistently, including expenditure, amount spent, increased, decreased, and category.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Some complex sentences are attempted, but recurring article, agreement, punctuation, and clause-construction errors weaken control.
Write shorter complete sentences and check articles, subject-verb agreement, and capitalization before adding complex structures.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The bar chart shows the monthly spending in dollars of a family in the USA on three items in 2010.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.