The chart below shows the percentage of total US population aged 65 and over between 1900 and 2000.
Sample Response
The chart shows the percentage of total population aged 65 and over in the U.S. between 1900 and 2000. In the year 1900 just over 4% of the population was aged over 65. However, by 1960 this figure had doubled. The number of people aged between 75 and 84 remained fairly steady between 1900 and 1930, making up only 1-1.3% of the population. The figure began to rise more significantly in 1940 and by 1970 it had tripled to reach 3% of the population. Although there was no change in the number of people aged 65 -74 between 1960 and 1970, the number of people aged 75 and over increased during this time. By the year 2000, 12.4% of the US population had reached the age of 65 or more, although this was slightly lower than in 1990 when it peaked at 12.6%. The chart shows that today people in the U.S. can expect to live longer than in 1900. By the year 2000 more than 12% of the population had managed to live to the age of 65 and over compared to only 4.1% in 1900.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Include age 65 Original: aged over 65 Suggested revision: aged 65 or over Why it matters: The chart includes people who are exactly 65 as well as those above that age.
- 2. Use proportion Original: number of people aged between 75 and 84 Suggested revision: proportion of people aged 75–84 Why it matters: The chart reports percentages of the population rather than absolute numbers of people.
- 3. Clarify reference Original: The figure began Suggested revision: This proportion began Why it matters: Naming the measure makes the reference to the 75–84 age group clearer.
- 4. Use percentage measure Original: number of people aged 65 -74 Suggested revision: proportion of people aged 65–74 Why it matters: The unchanged values of 6.1 refer to population shares, not headcounts.
- 5. Use percentage measure Original: number of people aged 75 and over Suggested revision: proportion of people aged 75 or over Why it matters: The two older groups are presented as percentages of the total population.
- 6. Avoid survival claim Original: had managed to live to the age of 65 and over Suggested revision: were aged 65 or over Why it matters: The visual shows the population's age distribution and does not track individuals surviving to a given age.
- 7. Add article Original: percentage of total population aged 65 and over in the U.S. Suggested revision: percentage of the US population aged 65 or over Why it matters: The revision supplies the definite article and states the population reference more directly.
- 8. Use concise date Original: In the year 1900 Suggested revision: In 1900 Why it matters: The shorter time expression is more concise in an academic report.
- 9. Use exact value Original: just over 4% Suggested revision: 4.1% Why it matters: The precise value is clearly labelled on the chart and strengthens data reporting.
- 10. Correct the increase Original: this figure had doubled Suggested revision: the overall proportion had more than doubled to 9.2% Why it matters: The rise from 4.1% to 9.2% is greater than an exact doubling.
- 11. Show gradual rise Original: remained fairly steady Suggested revision: rose gradually Why it matters: The 75–84 share increased at every plotted point from 1.0% to 1.3%.
- 12. Format the range Original: 1-1.3% Suggested revision: 1.0%–1.3% Why it matters: The replacement reports both labelled endpoints precisely.
Suggested Rewrites
- aged over 65 aged 65 or over
- number of people aged between 75 and 84 proportion of people aged 75–84
- The figure began This proportion began
- number of people aged 65 -74 proportion of people aged 65–74
- number of people aged 75 and over proportion of people aged 75 or over
- had managed to live to the age of 65 and over were aged 65 or over
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response is strongest in its accurate use of several key figures and its clear tracing of the overall rise in the elderly population. Its main limitation is incomplete coverage of the age-group composition, especially the 85+ group and the changing contribution of the 65–74 group after 1990. Prioritise a sharper overview and compare all three segments directly.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response presents an accurate overall rise and several well-chosen figures, but gives little attention to the oldest group and some later segment changes.
State the dominant age segment and compare all three age groups at key points, including the shifts after 1990.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses logically from the total population to age-specific details, although the single-block structure limits the clarity of grouping.
Separate the overview from the detailed comparisons and group related age categories within focused body paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is varied and generally precise, with effective language for trends and comparison despite occasional misuse of number for percentage.
Use percentage or proportion consistently and replace less precise expressions such as managed to live with neutral statistical wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of sentence structures is used accurately, and the few minor slips do not impede meaning.
Refine small details of spacing and age-range notation while maintaining the strong control of complex sentences.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows the percentage of total US population aged 65 and over between 1900 and 2000.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.