The chart below shows the percentage of total US population aged 65 and over between 1900 and 2000.
Sample Response
The chart shows the percentage of total population aged 65 and over in the U.S. between 1900 and 2000. In the year 1900 just over 4% of the population was aged over 65. However, by 1960 this figure had doubled.
The number of people aged between 75 and 84 remained fairly steady between 1900 and 1930, making up only 1-1.3% of the population. The figure began to rise more significantly in 1940 and by 1970 it had tripled to reach 3% of the population.
Although there was no change in the number of people aged 65 -74 between 1960 and 1970, the number of people aged 75 and over increased during this time. By the year 2000, 12.4% of the US population had reached the age of 65 or more, although this was slightly lower than in 1990 when it peaked at 12.6%.
The chart shows that today people in the U.S. can expect to live longer than in 1900. By the year 2000 more than 12% of the population had managed to live to the age of 65 and over compared to only 4.1% in 1900.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add missing article Original: percentage of total population Suggested revision: percentage of the total US population Why it matters: The noun phrase needs the definite article and should identify the population shown.
- 2. Include age 65 Original: aged over 65 Suggested revision: aged 65 or over Why it matters: The chart includes people aged exactly 65 as well as those above 65.
- 3. State scale accurately Original: had doubled Suggested revision: had more than doubled Why it matters: The total rose from 4.1% in 1900 to 9.2% in 1960, which is more than double.
- 4. Report a proportion Original: number Suggested revision: proportion Why it matters: The chart reports percentages rather than absolute numbers of people.
- 5. Use percentage language Original: the number of people aged 65 -74 Suggested revision: the proportion of people aged 65–74 Why it matters: This series represents a proportion, and the age range needs clear punctuation.
- 6. Use proportion accurately Original: number Suggested revision: proportion Why it matters: The combined older groups are expressed as percentages, not numbers of people.
- 7. Use neutral wording Original: had managed to live to the age of 65 and over Suggested revision: were aged 65 or over Why it matters: The proposed wording reports the demographic figure objectively without implying personal achievement.
- 8. Use concise date wording Original: In the year 1900 Suggested revision: In 1900 Why it matters: The shorter time phrase is clearer and more natural in a data report.
- 9. Use exact figure Original: just over 4% Suggested revision: 4.1% Why it matters: The chart supplies the precise total for 1900, so the exact value improves accuracy.
- 10. Specify the measure Original: figure Suggested revision: proportion Why it matters: Proportion refers more precisely to the percentage being tracked.
- 11. Format the range Original: only 1-1.3% Suggested revision: 1.0–1.3% Why it matters: The chart shows a range from 1.0% to 1.3%, which should use a clear range dash.
- 12. Tighten time phrase Original: By the year 2000, 12.4% Suggested revision: By 2000, 12.4% Why it matters: The concise year expression improves the flow without changing the data.
Suggested Rewrites
- percentage of total population percentage of the total US population
- aged over 65 aged 65 or over
- had doubled had more than doubled
- number proportion
- the number of people aged 65 -74 the proportion of people aged 65–74
- number proportion
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response is strongest in its accurate selection of figures, including the rise from 4.1% to 12.4%, the 1990 peak, and changes within age groups. Its main limitation is that the broad overview is dispersed and partly repetitive, while the growth of the oldest group receives little attention. Prioritise a single concise overview that summarises the century-long rise, the late peak, and the increasing shares of the older subgroups.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The report accurately describes several key totals and subgroup changes, although the overview is fragmented and the 85+ trend is underdeveloped.
Add one clear overview covering the overall rise, the slight fall after 1990, and growth across the older age groups.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses logically through selected periods, but the final paragraph repeats earlier figures rather than extending the comparison.
Organise the report around an overview followed by grouped comparisons, removing the repetitive concluding paragraph.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is generally precise and appropriate for describing demographic change, with only occasional awkward phrasing such as people having managed to reach an age.
Use more objective chart language, such as the proportion rose or the age group accounted for, instead of implying personal achievement.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of sentence structures is used accurately, and minor spacing or phrasing lapses do not impede meaning.
Refine noun-phrase accuracy and formatting in expressions such as people aged 65–74 and the proportion of the population.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows the percentage of total US population aged 65 and over between 1900 and 2000.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.