The pie chart shows the percentage of women in poverty and the bar chart shows poverty rates by sex and age. They are from the United States in 2008.
Sample Response
The pie chart compares the percentages of women in poverty according to their marital-status and dependent children, based on a census taken in the US in 2008. In addition, the bar graph depicts poverty rates based on gender and age groups, from the same source.
Surprisingly, a little over half of the women in poverty were single and had no dependent children, while a quarter were single women with dependent children. Married women, with or without dependent children, were at just around 10% each.
Through the bar graph, it is evident that women were poorer than men considering any age group. A concerning figure was that the poorest among all age groups were toddlers aged 5 years or below.
Overall, poverty significantly affected women aged less than 34 years. The over 35s had a lesser impact and figures stood at around 12%. Among those aged 75-or-above, the number of women suffering from poverty was double than of men.
So this is the sample answer of ( The pie chart shows the percentage of women in poverty and the bar chart shows poverty rates by sex and age. They are from the United States in 2008.)
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use neutral tone Original: Surprisingly Suggested revision: Notably Why it matters: A neutral adverb is more appropriate for an objective report.
- 2. Give exact figure Original: a little over half Suggested revision: 54% Why it matters: The pie chart provides an exact percentage, so reporting it improves precision.
- 3. Give exact figure Original: a quarter Suggested revision: 26% Why it matters: The chart labels this segment as 26%, which is more precise than a quarter.
- 4. Distinguish categories Original: at just around 10% each Suggested revision: at 8% and 12%, respectively Why it matters: The two married groups have distinct shares and should not be reported as equal.
- 5. Correct chart phrase Original: Through Suggested revision: In Why it matters: The preposition “in” correctly introduces information shown by a graph.
- 6. Describe the rate Original: poorer than men Suggested revision: more likely than men to live in poverty Why it matters: The graph reports poverty rates rather than individuals' degree of poverty.
- 7. Correct comparison phrase Original: considering any age group Suggested revision: in every age group Why it matters: This phrase states the comparison across all age categories clearly and grammatically.
- 8. Use measurable wording Original: poverty significantly affected Suggested revision: poverty rates were highest among Why it matters: The revision describes the charted rate directly and avoids the vague verb “affected.”
- 9. Correct age range Original: aged less than 34 years Suggested revision: aged 34 or under Why it matters: This is the natural way to describe an age range with an inclusive upper limit.
- 10. Use formal wording Original: The over 35s Suggested revision: People aged over 35 Why it matters: The revision is clearer and more formal for an academic report.
- 11. Report rates directly Original: had a lesser impact Suggested revision: had lower poverty rates Why it matters: People do not “have an impact” here; the comparison concerns their poverty rates.
- 12. Name the measure Original: figures Suggested revision: poverty rates Why it matters: Naming the measure is clearer than using the general word “figures.”
Suggested Rewrites
- Surprisingly Notably
- a little over half 54%
- a quarter 26%
- at just around 10% each at 8% and 12%, respectively
- Through In
- poorer than men more likely than men to live in poverty
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response accurately summarizes the pie chart's main proportions and uses generally clear language to compare the four household groups. Its main weakness is that much of the report discusses age-and-sex figures that are unsupported by the supplied visual, while the final sentence simply repeats the task wording. The priority is to base every detail on visible data and replace the copied ending with a concise overview of the verified key features.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The pie-chart proportions are reported accurately, but substantial unsupported claims about an unseen bar chart and a copied final sentence weaken task fulfilment.
Report only features verified in the visual and use the conclusion space for a clear overview rather than repeating the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is divided into logical topic paragraphs, although the overview arrives late and the final sentence disrupts progression.
Place a concise overview immediately after the introduction and remove the disconnected closing sentence.
Lexical Resource
The response uses adequate topic vocabulary and some varied comparison language, but expressions such as poorer and had a lesser impact lack precision.
Use precise statistical phrasing such as higher poverty rates and lower proportions throughout.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentences communicates meaning clearly, though several awkward forms and comparison errors remain.
Improve control of comparative structures and noun phrases, especially forms such as twice the figure for men.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The pie chart shows the percentage of women in poverty and the bar chart shows poverty rates by sex and age. They are from the United States in 2008.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.