The table below gives information about a restaurant’s average sales in three different branches in 2016.
Sample Response
The table illustrates the performance of three different branches of a chain of restaurants in three different locations in Vancouver for the year 2016. It is evident that the best performer is the branch in Georgia Street, which with 854 transactions a day on average has at least 100 more transactions than Dunsmuir Street and more than double from Drake Street. Georgia Street is also ahead in terms of average transaction value (ATV), with $10.69 per transaction compared to Dunsmuir Street’s $5.61 and Drake Street’s $9.02.
On average, eat-in and take-away transactions are almost equal in each restaurant, with take-away transactions ending slightly ahead in two of them. Drake Street is the only exception, with eat-in transactions surpassing take-away by 10.
The table also gives us information about the most popular item in each branch, revealing that the eating habit of customers in each area are widely varied: Georgia Street’s best seller is Chicken Burger, while Dunsmuir Street’s customers favour Chicken Wings, and Drake Street’s customers prefer Chicken Pasta.
Overall, it is clear that the Georgia Street’s branch is the company’s most profitable branch, with the highest number of transactions and ATV. Drake Street, on the other hand, lags far behind, despite the fact that its ATV is higher than Dunsmuir Street.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use comparative wording Original: ending slightly ahead Suggested revision: slightly exceeding eat-in transactions Why it matters: The replacement expresses the numerical comparison more precisely.
- 2. Clarify the comparison Original: transactions surpassing take-away by 10 Suggested revision: transactions exceeding take-away transactions by 10 Why it matters: Repeating the measured noun makes the comparison unambiguous.
- 3. Use concise reporting Original: also gives us information about Suggested revision: also shows Why it matters: This is a more concise and appropriately formal reporting phrase.
- 4. Remove double possession Original: Street’s Suggested revision: Street Why it matters: The place name functions as a modifier, so the possessive ending is unnecessary.
- 5. Avoid unsupported profit Original: most profitable branch Suggested revision: best-performing branch Why it matters: The table reports transactions and transaction value but does not provide profit data.
- 6. State the measured difference Original: lags far behind Suggested revision: records the fewest transactions Why it matters: This specifies the indicator on which Drake Street is clearly lowest.
- 7. Sentence rewrite Original: It is evident that the best performer is the branch in Georgia Street, which with 854 transactions a day on average has at least 100 more transactions than Dunsmuir Street and more than double from Drake Street. Suggested revision: The Georgia Street branch handled an average of 854 daily transactions, 104 more than Dunsmuir Street and more than twice the figure for Drake Street. Why it matters: The rewrite fixes the comparison structure and presents the figures more directly.
- 8. Sentence rewrite Original: The table also gives us information about the most popular item in each branch, revealing that the eating habit of customers in each area are widely varied: Georgia Street’s best seller is Chicken Burger, while Dunsmuir Street’s customers favour Chicken Wings, and Drake Street’s customers prefer Chicken Pasta. Suggested revision: The table also shows that customers’ preferred items vary by branch: chicken burgers are most popular on Georgia Street, chicken wings on Dunsmuir Street, and chicken pasta on Drake Street. Why it matters: The rewrite corrects agreement and expresses the category comparison naturally.
- 9. Move the overview earlier Suggested revision: Place this summary immediately after the introduction so the main patterns precede the detailed comparisons. Why it matters: The current final position delays the response’s overview until after all supporting data.
Suggested Rewrites
- ending slightly ahead slightly exceeding eat-in transactions
- transactions surpassing take-away by 10 transactions exceeding take-away transactions by 10
- also gives us information about also shows
- Street’s Street
- most profitable branch best-performing branch
- lags far behind records the fewest transactions
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response is comprehensive, easy to follow, and supports its comparisons with almost all of the table's key figures. The principal limitation is the unsupported description of Georgia Street as the most profitable branch, since the table gives sales indicators rather than costs or profit. The highest-priority improvement is to keep conclusions strictly within the data and polish a few awkward grammatical and lexical choices.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response accurately compares transaction counts, values, service modes, and popular items, but the claim about profitability goes beyond the information provided.
Describe Georgia Street as having the highest sales indicators rather than the highest profit, and retain the otherwise strong numerical comparisons.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically sequenced into clear thematic paragraphs, and comparisons within and between branches are easy to follow.
Place the overall summary immediately after the introduction to foreground the main pattern before presenting detailed comparisons.
Lexical Resource
A broad and generally precise range of language supports detailed comparisons, with only occasional awkward collocations such as 'more than double from' and 'ending slightly ahead'.
Refine comparative phrasing by using forms such as 'more than twice the figure for Drake Street' and 'slightly exceeded'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are handled with good control and most structures are accurate, though a few errors occur in agreement, possession, and comparative construction.
Proofread forms such as 'customers' eating habits vary', 'the Georgia Street branch', and 'more than double the number at Drake Street'.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The table below gives information about a restaurant’s average sales in three different branches in 2016.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.