The table below describes water usage for 3 different purposes in 6 countries in 2003.
This response is estimated at Band 8.0. Can you write a better one?
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Sample Response
The table illustrates the proportions of water use for 3 different purposes in 6 countries in 2003.
It is clear from the table that most countries used the largest share of water in the agricultural sector and the smallest – in industrial.
To begin, the United Kingdom and China had almost identical water usage profiles and the proportions of water used for agriculturetheir ratios of agricultural water usage were around 90%, while their domestic and industrial water usage ranged between 5 and 7%. India had slightly different figures, with a lower proportionvalue for agriculture at 82% and higher figures for domestic and industrial usage at 10 and 8%, respectively.
Canada and Australia had a similar domestic water usage, at 63 and 65%, respectively; however industrial use in Canadathe industry in Canada was a major water consumer at 32%, compared to just 2% in Australia. Agricultural use in CanadaThe Canadian agriculture consumed an insignificant 5% of water, unlike Australia, where agriculture accounted forwhose agriculture used 33% of water.
Lastly, Japan useduse the largest share of its water in agriculture (66%), and the remainder was divided between domestic and industrial usesthe rest was shared between domestic and industrial use, at 19% and 15%, respectivelyin similar proportions of 19% and 15%, respectively.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response gives a clear overview and accurately compares all six countries, with effective grouping of similar water-use patterns. Its main limitation is a small amount of imprecise wording and a few grammar slips, especially subject-verb agreement. The highest-priority improvement is to sharpen the overview by explicitly contrasting the agriculture-dominant countries with Canada and Australia, where domestic use was highest.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response presents a clear overview and accurately reports and compares the main figures for all six countries.
Make the overview more discriminating by identifying Canada and Australia as the two countries where domestic use, rather than agricultural use, was highest.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically sequenced, with a separate overview and well-focused paragraphs grouping countries by similar patterns.
Strengthen the final paragraph's connection to the preceding comparisons so Japan does not feel slightly isolated.
Lexical Resource
A strong range of relevant vocabulary describes proportions and comparisons precisely, though a few phrases such as 'The Canadian agriculture' are unnatural.
Use more natural noun phrases such as 'agricultural use in Canada' and avoid vague terms such as 'ratios' when reporting proportions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures with strong control, but isolated errors occur in agreement and phrasing.
Check subject-verb agreement and article use, particularly in sentences such as 'Japan use' and references to agricultural consumption.