The diagrams show a structure that is used to generate electricity from wave power.
Sample Response
The diagrams show the structure and processes of generating electricity from the wave power. As is observed from the presented illustration, the wave is used to produce the electricity and both the tide and ebb the structure is used to rotate a turbine to produce the electricity. According to the given pictorial, the electricity producing machine works in two ways. Firstly, the structure is placed near a sea so that the wave water gets inside the chamber and creates an air pressure that would rotate the turbine placed inside a column. The rotation of the turbine produces electricity which is stored in the cells and this electricity can be passed and used. The whole structure is placed near the sea, adjacent to a cliff or sea wall. The second illustration depicts how the electricity can be produced using the ebb tide of the sea. During the ebb, the water gets off from the chamber and the air pressure is created again from the opposite direction and this rotates the turbine. The rotation of the turbine produces electricity and supplies it to the storage. In summary, the electricity can be produced using a structure near the sea and both the tide and the ebb-tide is used to rotate the turbine to produce the electricity.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use singular process Original: processes of generating electricity Suggested revision: process of generating electricity Why it matters: The diagrams show one mechanism operating in two phases.
- 2. Remove article Original: the wave power Suggested revision: wave power Why it matters: Wave power is an uncountable general term and takes no article here.
- 3. Use direct reporting Original: As is observed from the presented illustration Suggested revision: As the diagrams show Why it matters: The direct phrase is clearer and matches the two visuals.
- 4. Use process terms Original: the wave is used to produce the electricity Suggested revision: waves are used to generate electricity Why it matters: The plural and the verb generate describe the repeated mechanism naturally.
- 5. Correct mechanism and syntax Original: both the tide and ebb the structure is used to rotate Suggested revision: both incoming and receding waves drive Why it matters: The diagrams show wave phases rather than tides, and the replacement creates a grammatical clause.
- 6. Use correct visual noun Original: given pictorial Suggested revision: diagrams Why it matters: Pictorial is not a natural noun for these process diagrams.
- 7. Use precise compound Original: electricity producing machine Suggested revision: electricity-generating structure Why it matters: This compound accurately names the illustrated structure.
- 8. Name incoming phase Original: Firstly Suggested revision: During the incoming-wave phase Why it matters: Naming the phase provides a clearer sequence than a generic ordinal.
- 9. Fix location phrase Original: near a sea Suggested revision: by the sea Why it matters: By the sea is the natural expression for this location.
- 10. Name incoming wave Original: wave water Suggested revision: incoming wave Why it matters: Wave water is not an idiomatic description of the water entering the chamber.
- 11. Remove article Original: an air pressure Suggested revision: air pressure Why it matters: Air pressure is uncountable in this context.
- 12. Use process present Original: would rotate Suggested revision: rotates Why it matters: Present simple is used to describe how a process operates.
Suggested Rewrites
- processes of generating electricity process of generating electricity
- the wave power wave power
- As is observed from the presented illustration As the diagrams show
- the wave is used to produce the electricity waves are used to generate electricity
- both the tide and ebb the structure is used to rotate both incoming and receding waves drive
- given pictorial diagrams
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response explains the two airflow phases in a generally understandable sequence and identifies the chamber, column, and turbine. Its main limitation is visual accuracy: it invents electricity storage, treats the process as tide-driven, and omits that the turbine turns in the same direction as airflow reverses. The highest priority is to describe only the labelled mechanism and make that shared turbine movement the central overview.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The two phases and principal components are described, but the same-direction turbine movement is omitted and unsupported electricity storage is added.
State that incoming and receding waves reverse the airflow while the turbine continues to turn in the same direction, and remove storage claims.
Coherence and Cohesion
The account moves from incoming water to receding water in a broadly logical sequence, but repetition and the absence of paragraphing reduce clarity.
Use an overview followed by one paragraph for each airflow phase, avoiding repeated statements about producing electricity.
Lexical Resource
Relevant process terms such as chamber, column, air pressure, and turbine are used, but several expressions are repetitive or inaccurate.
Replace phrases such as given pictorial, wave water, gets off, and supplies it to the storage with precise process vocabulary.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied clause structures and passive forms, but recurring article, agreement, and sentence-construction errors reduce control.
Prioritise complete clause structure and agreement, especially with both phases are used and water leaves the chamber.
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