The pie charts below illustrate the number of journal articles read per week by all students, PhD students, and junior lecturers at an Australian university.
Sample Response
The three pie charts illustrate how many articles from academic journals are read weekly by PhD students and junior lecturers compared to other students at an Australian university.
For example, the overwhelming majority of those studying doctorates read at least twelve articles per week in comparison with the average student. The figures were 80 per cent and twelve per cent respectively.
Furthermore, only five per cent of PhD level students read between one and five articles, whereas the average for all students in this category is a hefty 67 per cent.
Meanwhile, for junior lecturers the pattern appears to be slightly different. Most read six or more articles per week (99 per cent), but out of this total 24 per cent read twelve or more, which is almost a third of the corresponding figure for PhD level students.
It is clear that those students who are researching for a PhD read more articles than either junior lecturers or other students.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use the chart label Original: compared to other students Suggested revision: compared with all students Why it matters: The first pie chart is labelled all students rather than other students.
- 2. Remove misleading linker Original: For example, Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: This sentence presents a central data comparison rather than an example of a previous claim.
- 3. Use concise group name Original: those studying doctorates Suggested revision: PhD students Why it matters: PhD students is the direct and natural label for this group.
- 4. Correct comparison group Original: the average student Suggested revision: all students Why it matters: Twelve per cent is the figure for the all-students chart, not for an average individual.
- 5. Use present tense Original: were Suggested revision: are Why it matters: Use the present tense when reporting data displayed in a chart.
- 6. Use standard term Original: of PhD level students read Suggested revision: of PhD students read Why it matters: PhD students is clearer and more idiomatic than PhD level students.
- 7. Report a proportion Original: average Suggested revision: figure Why it matters: The chart shows a group percentage, not an average.
- 8. Use neutral register Original: a hefty 67 per cent Suggested revision: 67 per cent Why it matters: Hefty is informal and evaluative for an objective data report.
- 9. State contrast directly Original: pattern appears to be slightly different Suggested revision: distribution differs Why it matters: This concise wording states the contrast without unnecessary qualification.
- 10. Clarify the relationship Original: but out of this total Suggested revision: and Why it matters: The 24 per cent is a component of the 99 per cent, so addition rather than contrast expresses the relationship accurately.
Suggested Rewrites
- compared to other students compared with all students
- For example, Delete
- those studying doctorates PhD students
- the average student all students
- were are
- of PhD level students read of PhD students read
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response identifies the dominant patterns accurately and supports them with well-chosen comparisons, especially the contrast between doctoral students and the wider student body. Its main limitation is selective coverage: the 6–11-article shares are mostly compressed into an aggregate rather than compared directly across all groups. Add one concise comparison of that middle category and present the overview earlier for a more complete, immediately oriented report.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response provides a clear overview and accurate comparisons of the dominant and smallest categories, though the 6–11-article figures receive limited direct coverage.
Add a concise comparison showing that the middle category accounts for 21%, 15%, and 75% across the three groups.
Coherence and Cohesion
The report progresses logically through the groups and uses cohesive links effectively, although the overview arrives only in the final paragraph.
Place the overview immediately after the introduction and group the detailed comparisons by article-frequency category.
Lexical Resource
A wide, flexible vocabulary conveys proportions and comparisons precisely, with only slight informality in hefty and minor awkwardness in PhD level students.
Use consistently formal choices such as substantial and PhD students throughout.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex comparative clauses and percentage structures are consistently accurate, with only very minor awkwardness that does not affect clarity.
Refine noun phrasing such as students studying for doctorates to make the few less-natural constructions fully idiomatic.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The pie charts below illustrate the number of journal articles read per week by all students, PhD students, and junior lecturers at an Australian university.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.