The graph below shows the differences in wheat exports over three different areas. Wheat Exports from 1985 to 1990 (in million tonnes)
Sample Response
The line graph illustrates changes in wheat export by Australia, Canada, and the European Community within a five-year period - from 1985 to 1990. Overall, what stands out of the graph is that wheat export by the European Community increased over the period, whereas Australia witnessed a gradual decrease in the period considered. Although wheat exports of the three areas fluctuated, Canada had the highest oscillations throughout the interim. One of the first things to note is that Canada was the country whose wheat exportation comprised nearly 20 million tons in 1985. In the following year, the rate of export fell and then quickly recovered reaching a peak of 25 million tons in 1988. However, this figure fluctuated over the years, finishing surprisingly the same as it was at the starting point. European Community initially exported less than Canada, but its outcome turned out more than the other two countries at the final point- over 20 tons. In contrast to the other two areas, Australia exported 15 tons in 1985 and saw a slight decrease over the period except in 1986.
[Writtne by - Nilufar Makhsudova]
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct period length Original: within a five-year period Suggested revision: over the six-year period Why it matters: The graph covers six labelled years from 1985 through 1990 inclusive.
- 2. Use natural plural phrase Original: wheat export by Australia, Canada, and the European Community Suggested revision: wheat exports from Australia, Canada and the European Community Why it matters: Exports from is the natural formulation for quantities sent by the three regions.
- 3. Use plural exports Original: wheat export by the European Community Suggested revision: wheat exports from the European Community Why it matters: The plural noun and preposition from fit the repeated annual quantities.
- 4. Use direct data subject Original: Australia witnessed Suggested revision: Australia's exports showed Why it matters: Making exports the grammatical subject describes the data more directly.
- 5. Avoid repeated period phrase Original: in the period considered Suggested revision: overall Why it matters: Overall avoids repeating over the period in the same sentence.
- 6. Remove empty framing Original: One of the first things to note is that Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: This introductory phrase delays the data point without adding meaning.
- 7. Use accurate quantity verb Original: wheat exportation comprised Suggested revision: wheat exports amounted to Why it matters: Amounts of exports amount to a figure; they do not comprise it.
- 8. Use exact value and unit Original: nearly 20 million tons Suggested revision: 19 million tonnes Why it matters: Canada's 1985 value is 19 million tonnes and the graph uses tonnes.
- 9. Describe export volume Original: the rate of export Suggested revision: the export volume Why it matters: The graph measures a quantity in million tonnes, not a rate.
- 10. Add participle comma Original: quickly recovered reaching Suggested revision: quickly recovered, reaching Why it matters: A comma should separate the following participial phrase.
- 11. Use graph unit Original: 25 million tons Suggested revision: 25 million tonnes Why it matters: The chart labels the measurement in million tonnes.
- 12. Compare series precisely Original: In contrast to the other two areas Suggested revision: Unlike the other two series Why it matters: Series is more precise than areas when contrasting plotted trends.
Suggested Rewrites
- within a five-year period over the six-year period
- wheat export by Australia, Canada, and the European Community wheat exports from Australia, Canada and the European Community
- wheat export by the European Community wheat exports from the European Community
- Australia witnessed Australia's exports showed
- in the period considered overall
- One of the first things to note is that Delete
Why this response received Band 7.0
The report presents a relevant overview of the three main trends and selects useful figures, especially Canada's 1988 peak and the contrasting directions of Europe and Australia. However, it inaccurately says Canada finished at its starting level and some descriptions are thin or imprecise. The strongest improvement would be to verify end values carefully and compare the three series at key turning points.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The main trends and Canada's peak are identified, but the claim that Canada ended at its starting value is inaccurate.
Report the 1990 endpoints accurately and add a direct comparison around 1988-1990, when the rankings changed.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a clear overview and broadly logical progression, though the single-block development and some abrupt links weaken organisation.
Separate the overview from grouped detail paragraphs and connect each series through clearly ordered time comparisons.
Lexical Resource
There is adequate range for describing trends, but several choices such as highest oscillations, exportation comprised, and outcome are imprecise.
Use conventional graph language such as fluctuated most, exports stood at, peaked at, and finished at.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex sentences with generally good control, despite occasional missing articles and punctuation slips.
Proofread article use and clause boundaries, particularly before European Community and around participial phrases such as reaching a peak.