The line graph shows the historical oil prices per barrel from 1973 to January 2009.
Sample Response
The line graph illustrates the fluctuations in oil price per Barrel from 1973 to January 2009. The data sources are - inflationdata.com and the Revenue Department of Alaska. Overall, oil price per barrel was as low as 5 USD in 1973 and went as high as USD 143 in 2008 and kept on declining afterwards.
It is clear from the graph that the oil price fluctuated between 1973 and 2003 and reached a peak of approximately 145 USD per Barrel after 2006. From 1973 to 1980, the oil price increased significantly from 5 to 40 USD per Barrel. However, the price went down to about 15 USD per Barrel in 1986 and continued to fluctuate until 2003.
After 10 years of the fluctuations, interestingly enough, the price went up dramatically to as much as 60 USD per Barrel in 2007 and rocketed to roughly 142 USD, which was a peak, in around 2008, and decreased dramatically to 40 USD per Barrel in 2009.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Capitalization Original: per Barrel Suggested revision: per barrel Why it matters: Do not capitalize 'barrel' in the middle of a sentence.
- 2. Dash punctuation Original: The data sources are - Suggested revision: The data sources are Why it matters: The dash is unnecessary in this sentence.
- 3. Approximate peak Original: went as high as USD 143 in 2008 Suggested revision: peaked at about USD 143 in 2008 Why it matters: This is a more precise way to describe the highest point on the graph.
- 4. Time reference Original: kept on declining afterwards Suggested revision: then fell sharply by January 2009 Why it matters: The graph ends in January 2009, so the endpoint should be stated clearly.
- 5. Date precision Original: after 2006 Suggested revision: around 2008 Why it matters: The peak occurs around 2008, not just generally after 2006.
- 6. Unit order Original: from 5 to 40 USD Suggested revision: from USD 5 to about USD 40 Why it matters: This phrasing is more natural and signals approximation from the graph.
- 7. Add range detail Original: continued to fluctuate until 2003 Suggested revision: continued to fluctuate at a much lower level until 2003 Why it matters: This helps contrast the stable period with the later surge.
- 8. Unclear time link Original: After 10 years of the fluctuations Suggested revision: After this relatively stable period Why it matters: The original time reference is unclear because the previous period is longer than ten years.
- 9. Academic tone Original: interestingly enough Suggested revision: notably Why it matters: 'Notably' is more concise and formal for Task 1.
- 10. Endpoint detail Original: decreased dramatically to 40 USD per Barrel in 2009 Suggested revision: fell dramatically to about USD 40 per barrel by January 2009 Why it matters: The chart labels the final point as January 2009.
- 11. Sharper overview Original: Overall, oil price per barrel was as low as 5 USD in 1973 and went as high as USD 143 in 2008 and kept on declining afterwards. Suggested revision: Overall, the price started at about USD 5 per barrel in 1973, peaked at roughly USD 143 in 2008, and then dropped sharply by January 2009. Why it matters: This keeps the key movement but states the endpoint more accurately.
- 12. Avoid overlap Original: It is clear from the graph that the oil price fluctuated between 1973 and 2003 and reached a peak of approximately 145 USD per Barrel after 2006. Suggested revision: Between 1973 and 2003, oil prices fluctuated at relatively modest levels before climbing steeply after the mid-2000s. Why it matters: This avoids repeating the peak already given in the overview.
Suggested Rewrites
- per Barrel per barrel
- The data sources are - The data sources are
- went as high as USD 143 in 2008 peaked at about USD 143 in 2008
- kept on declining afterwards then fell sharply by January 2009
- after 2006 around 2008
- from 5 to 40 USD from USD 5 to about USD 40
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The response gives a clear overview of the long-term fluctuation, the 2008 peak, and the sharp fall by January 2009. It selects relevant figures, though a few dates and phrases could be more precise.
Add one more comparison between the relatively stable mid-1980s to late-1990s period and the dramatic surge after 2003.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing is clear and the sequence follows the timeline well. Some cohesion is repetitive but does not block understanding.
Use more varied time links such as 'during the late 1980s', 'from the early 1990s', and 'by January 2009'.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is effective for line-graph description, including 'fluctuated', 'peak', 'declining', and 'rocketed'. Some capitalization and word choices are inconsistent.
Keep units consistent as 'US dollars per barrel' and avoid capitalizing 'barrel' mid-sentence.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Most sentences are accurate, but there are some awkward structures, especially 'After 10 years of the fluctuations' and repeated use of 'per Barrel'.
Proofread for article use, capitalization, and time-clause accuracy.