The line graph below shows changes in the amount and type of fast food consumed by Australian teenagers from 1975 to 2000.
Sample Response
The given line graph depicts the Australian teenagers’ habit of fast food consumption between 1975 and 2000 years. It can be seen from the graph that the popularity of hamburgers rose dramatically among the Australian teenagers whereas the fish and chips gradually decreased. According to the graph, in 1975, the fish and chips were very famous among the teenagers of Australia. Moreover, at that time, it was eaten almost 100 times per year. After that in 1980, the popularity of fish and chips decreased consistently; again it increased slightly in 1985. Then from 1985 to 2000 the demand for this fast food fell significantly: just under the 40 times eaten per year. On the other hand, it appears from the graph that the popularity of pizzas and hamburgers rose substantially. Nevertheless, the demand for pizza was constant over a period of 1995 to 2000 and it was nearly eaten 85 times in a year. On the other side, the consumption rate of hamburgers exponentially increased from 1985 to 2000 and the number of eaten times per year was just above 100 times.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Time phrase Original: between 1975 and 2000 years Suggested revision: between 1975 and 2000 Why it matters: Do not add "years" after the date range.
- 2. Data wording Original: popularity of hamburgers Suggested revision: consumption of hamburgers Why it matters: The graph measures eating frequency, not popularity directly.
- 3. Article use Original: the fish and chips Suggested revision: fish and chips Why it matters: The food name does not need "the" here.
- 4. Wrong register Original: very famous Suggested revision: the most frequently eaten Why it matters: This is more precise for consumption data.
- 5. Plural reference Original: it was eaten Suggested revision: they were eaten Why it matters: "Fish and chips" is treated as plural in your sentence.
- 6. Approximate figure Original: almost 100 times Suggested revision: about 100 times Why it matters: "About" is more natural for graph estimates.
- 7. Comma after linker Original: After that in 1980 Suggested revision: After that, in 1980, Why it matters: Use commas to mark the time phrase.
- 8. Trend accuracy Original: decreased consistently; again it increased slightly in 1985 Suggested revision: fell by 1980, then rose slightly in 1985 Why it matters: This better reflects the dip and temporary recovery.
- 9. Article error Original: just under the 40 times Suggested revision: just under 40 times Why it matters: Do not use "the" before this number phrase.
- 10. Measured quantity Original: the demand for pizza Suggested revision: pizza consumption Why it matters: The graph shows consumption frequency, not demand.
- 11. Time phrase Original: over a period of 1995 to 2000 Suggested revision: from 1995 to 2000 Why it matters: Use "from ... to" for a period.
- 12. Passive structure Original: it was nearly eaten 85 times Suggested revision: it was eaten nearly 85 times Why it matters: Place the adverb before the number phrase.
Suggested Rewrites
- between 1975 and 2000 years between 1975 and 2000
- popularity of hamburgers consumption of hamburgers
- the fish and chips fish and chips
- very famous the most frequently eaten
- it was eaten they were eaten
- almost 100 times about 100 times
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The response identifies the main trends accurately: hamburgers and pizza rose, fish and chips fell overall, and pizza levelled off after 1995. Some descriptions are imprecise, especially the claim that hamburgers rose exponentially from 1985 to 2000.
Use exact start and end values for all three foods and describe the hamburger rise as steep but slowing after 1995.
Coherence and Cohesion
The report is logically organized around fish and chips first, then pizza and hamburgers. However, it is one paragraph and some linking phrases are repetitive.
Separate the overview and detailed trends, and group rising items together after describing fish and chips.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is adequate, but some choices are unnatural for consumption data, such as "famous", "demand", and "number of eaten times".
Use "consumption", "frequency", "times per year", and "was eaten" consistently.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning is clear, but there are several errors with articles, time phrases, and passive structures.
Revise phrases after dates and use "from 1975 to 2000" without adding "years".