The pie charts show the highest education level of women in Sri Lanka in 1965 and 1995. Education of women in Sri Lanka – 1965. Education of women in Sri Lanka – 1995.
Sample Response
The pie charts compare the female education scenarios in Sri Lanka in 1965 and 1995. As is obvious, the level of female education in Sri Lanka remarkably progressed within three decades. Getting back to the details, more than one-third of Sri Lankan females never attended schools in 1965 while only 3% completed their graduation. No woman in this year was awarded a post graduate degree while almost half of Sri Lankan women barely completed their primary education. In this year, 18% female received their 12th-grade diploma and the overall education level in Sri Lankan women was dismal. However, after three decades, this scenario changed exceptionally when one in every five Sri Lankan women hold a post-graduate qualification and no woman was unschooled. Exactly one-quarter of them completed 12th grades while graduate women comprised 35%. It is worth noticing that no women in this period were uneducated and that was a remarkable progress in terms of women education in Sri Lanka. Finally, 20% female in this year completed their primary education which was exactly the same ratio of post graduate women in this year.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use precise noun phrase Original: female education scenarios Suggested revision: women's educational attainment Why it matters: Educational attainment describes the measured highest education level more precisely.
- 2. Signal overview directly Original: As is obvious Suggested revision: Overall Why it matters: Overall is a concise, neutral signal for the main chart summary.
- 3. Use natural collocation Original: remarkably progressed Suggested revision: improved markedly Why it matters: Improved markedly is the natural collocation for a rise in educational attainment.
- 4. Use concise transition Original: Getting back to the details Suggested revision: In detail Why it matters: The replacement introduces the supporting figures more directly.
- 5. Use idiomatic singular Original: attended schools Suggested revision: attended school Why it matters: Attend school is the standard expression when referring generally to receiving schooling.
- 6. Name qualification precisely Original: completed their graduation Suggested revision: held a graduate qualification Why it matters: The chart reports a highest qualification rather than the act of completing graduation.
- 7. Use direct time reference Original: No woman in this year Suggested revision: No woman in 1965 Why it matters: Naming the year directly avoids an awkward time phrase.
- 8. Join compound modifier Original: post graduate degree Suggested revision: postgraduate degree Why it matters: Postgraduate is conventionally written as one word in this context.
- 9. Match chart category Original: barely completed their primary education Suggested revision: had completed only six years of education Why it matters: The chart category is six-year education, and barely incorrectly suggests near failure.
- 10. Use plural count noun Original: 18% female Suggested revision: 18% of women Why it matters: A percentage of people requires of followed by the plural noun women.
- 11. Use correct preposition Original: in Sri Lankan women Suggested revision: among Sri Lankan women Why it matters: Among is the correct preposition for a characteristic distributed across a group.
- 12. Link change naturally Original: changed exceptionally when Suggested revision: changed dramatically, as Why it matters: The revision uses a natural adverb and introduces the supporting 1995 data clearly.
Suggested Rewrites
- female education scenarios women's educational attainment
- As is obvious Overall
- remarkably progressed improved markedly
- Getting back to the details In detail
- attended schools attended school
- completed their graduation held a graduate qualification
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response identifies the strong rise in women’s educational attainment and reports every category with accurate figures, making the main change easy to understand. Its effectiveness is reduced by presenting the entire report as one paragraph and by recurring agreement and noun-form errors. Divide the details by year or education level, then proofread agreement, articles, and plural forms.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
A clear overview is supported by accurate coverage of all five education categories in both years and relevant comparisons.
Keep interpretations neutral by replacing subjective descriptions of the education level with direct evidence from the proportions.
Coherence and Cohesion
The progression from 1965 to 1995 is clear, but the entire response forms one dense paragraph and repeats time references.
Separate the overview from two logically grouped detail paragraphs and vary references to the two years.
Lexical Resource
The response uses varied vocabulary for qualifications, proportions, and change, although some choices are awkward or overly evaluative.
Prefer neutral, natural combinations such as educational attainment, held a qualification, and completed six years of schooling.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex structures is attempted, but errors with agreement, articles, plurals, and noun forms recur throughout the report.
Check that percentage expressions take correct plural nouns and that each subject agrees with its verb.