The bar chart below shows the proportions of English men and women of different ages who were living alone in 2011. The pie chart compares the numbers of bedrooms in these one-person households. Living alone in England by age and gender, 2011 Number of bedrooms in one-person households (England, 2011)
Sample Response
The bar graph compares the ratio of English males and females from different age groups who lived individually in 2011, while the pie chart shows the number of bedrooms they had. Overall, more British women lived alone when they got older and most of these separately living persons' houses comprised one to three bedrooms. According to the bar chart, more British females, roughly 55%, lived alone than that of males in 2011. This is particularly true for the aged women since roughly 70% of them lived separately compared to less than 30% males over 65 years old. The ratio of both genders living alone who were 50 to 64 years old in 2011 was exactly the same. However, younger English males preferred to live individually more than their female counterparts. Six out of ten, on an average, were men who lived solo when they were younger, 16-49 years old. The highest percentages of single males of this category were between 35 to 49 years old while this ratio was highest for the women over 80 years old. The pie chart depicts that most of the single persons’ houses had one to three bedrooms and two-bedroom houses for such people was the highest, around 35%, exceeding the three-bedroom apartments by roughly 6 percent. Scarcely they had larger houses with many rooms and around one-fourth of these homes had only one room.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use chart term Original: ratio of English males and females Suggested revision: proportions of English men and women Why it matters: The chart presents percentages, so proportions is more precise.
- 2. Natural phrasing Original: lived individually Suggested revision: lived alone Why it matters: This is the standard expression for one-person living.
- 3. Clarify unit Original: number of bedrooms they had Suggested revision: distribution of one-person households by number of bedrooms Why it matters: The pie chart classifies households rather than individuals' possessions.
- 4. Simplify noun phrase Original: separately living persons' houses Suggested revision: one-person households Why it matters: The original possessive phrase is awkward.
- 5. Faulty comparison Original: than that of males Suggested revision: than men did Why it matters: The comparison needs a parallel subject and verb.
- 6. Respectful label Original: the aged women Suggested revision: older women Why it matters: Older women is more natural and neutral.
- 7. Add preposition Original: less than 30% males Suggested revision: fewer than 30% of men Why it matters: A percentage of a group requires of.
- 8. Use exact groups Original: over 65 years old Suggested revision: in the 65-and-over age groups Why it matters: The chart separates three older age bands.
- 9. Avoid motive claim Original: preferred to live individually Suggested revision: were more likely to live alone Why it matters: The chart shows proportions, not preferences.
- 10. Concise statistic Original: Six out of ten, on an average Suggested revision: Around six in ten Why it matters: The shorter phrase is clearer.
- 11. Preserve bands Original: 16-49 years old Suggested revision: across the 16-24, 25-34, and 35-49 groups Why it matters: This avoids implying one uniform value.
- 12. Age range form Original: were between 35 to 49 Suggested revision: was in the 35-49 group Why it matters: The subject is percentage and the range needs in.
Suggested Rewrites
- ratio of English males and females proportions of English men and women
- lived individually lived alone
- number of bedrooms they had distribution of one-person households by number of bedrooms
- separately living persons' houses one-person households
- than that of males than men did
- the aged women older women
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response gives a clear overview and selects most of the main gender, age, and bedroom patterns from both visuals. Its main weakness is imprecise interpretation: several figures are generalized across age groups, and household bedroom categories are described as rooms or apartments. Prioritize exact age-specific comparisons and use chart terminology consistently, while tightening several awkward grammatical constructions.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
Both visuals are covered with a clear overview and relevant comparisons, but some figures are overgeneralized and the one-bedroom value is inaccurately rounded to one-fourth.
Anchor every percentage to its precise age group or bedroom category and avoid claims that combine several distinct values.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses logically from overview to the bar chart and then the pie chart, though the response is presented as one dense paragraph.
Separate the overview and the two visual descriptions into clear paragraphs and reduce repeated wording.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and generally appropriate, but several choices such as ratio, lived individually, and rooms are imprecise for the data.
Use proportion, lived alone, households, and bedrooms consistently.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex sentences is used, but agreement, comparison, article, and word-order errors remain noticeable.
Check comparison structures and noun-phrase agreement, especially around percentages and age groups.