The pie charts below show responses by teachers of foreign languages in Britain to a survey concerning why their students are learning a foreign language. The first chart shows the main reason for learning a foreign language. The second chart shows how many teachers felt that there has been a recent change in the reason. % of teachers reporting the following as the most common reasons for learning: % of teachers reporting a recent increase in people learning for the following reasons:
Sample Response
The first pie chart shows different reasons why students learn a second language while the second chart illustrates how they account for recent changes. Data is based on a survey by some British teachers of foreign languages. Overall, travel seems to be the primary reason for learning a second language among British students. At the same time, the majority of teachers think that the recent increase in students' learning of a foreign language habit these days is mainly influenced by the aim of owning overseas properties or professional reason. To begin with, 1 out of every 3 teachers of foreign languages in Britain believes that students learn a foreign language for travelling. But conversely, regarding the effect it has to recent changes, it represents the lowest proportion, with only 3% of all teachers think so. Besides, the purpose of work or business accounts for learning according to 26% of teachers, and 19% think that they increased recently. On the other hand, just below one-fifth of all teachers believe that students' main reason for learning a new language to buy properties. However, the figure becomes as high as one-third when it comes to its effect. Similarities can be seen for general interest, personal development and having a foreign partner, as their figures are around 5%. Additionally, 15% of all teachers attribute recent changes to having social contacts. And finally, an equal proportion of teachers believe there have been no changes.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Identify survey group Original: some British teachers of foreign languages Suggested revision: British foreign-language teachers Why it matters: The concise replacement identifies the surveyed group without the vague qualifier 'some'.
- 2. State chart finding Original: travel seems to be Suggested revision: travel is Why it matters: The chart gives travel the largest first-chart share, so the overview can state this directly.
- 3. Attribute survey correctly Original: among British students Suggested revision: according to the surveyed teachers Why it matters: The chart reports teachers' responses rather than direct data collected from all British students.
- 4. Use chart percentage Original: 1 out of every 3 Suggested revision: 33% of Why it matters: Using the displayed percentage makes the report more precise and concise.
- 5. Use natural noun phrase Original: for travelling Suggested revision: for travel Why it matters: For travel is the more natural collocation when naming the purpose shown in the chart.
- 6. Use one contrast marker Original: But conversely Suggested revision: By contrast Why it matters: But and conversely duplicate the same contrast function, while the replacement links the figures cleanly.
- 7. Clarify measured change Original: the effect it has to recent changes Suggested revision: its share among reasons for the recent increase Why it matters: The original phrase is unidiomatic and does not clearly describe what the second chart measures.
- 8. Fix clause structure Original: with only 3% of all teachers think so Suggested revision: with only 3% of teachers reporting this reason Why it matters: After with, the noun phrase needs a participial form rather than the finite verb 'think'.
- 9. Give exact value Original: just below one-fifth Suggested revision: 19% Why it matters: The chart supplies an exact figure, so reporting 19% is more precise than an approximation.
- 10. Restore missing verb Original: students' main reason for learning a new language to buy properties Suggested revision: students' main reason for learning a new language is to buy property overseas Why it matters: The clause needs the linking verb 'is', and the revision also matches the chart's category wording.
- 11. Report exact increase share Original: becomes as high as one-third Suggested revision: rises to 34% Why it matters: The second chart shows an exact 34% share for buying property overseas.
- 12. Name comparison clearly Original: when it comes to its effect Suggested revision: among reasons for the recent increase Why it matters: The vague pronoun and the word 'effect' obscure the comparison with the second chart.
Suggested Rewrites
- some British teachers of foreign languages British foreign-language teachers
- travel seems to be travel is
- among British students according to the surveyed teachers
- 1 out of every 3 33% of
- for travelling for travel
- But conversely By contrast
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response gives a clear overview and accurately identifies the main patterns, including travel as the leading established reason and overseas property as the strongest area of recent growth. Its coverage is generally well selected, but the single-paragraph presentation and several awkward or incomplete constructions make relationships less precise; the highest priority is to organise the overview and details into clear paragraphs while using more accurate comparative language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
A clear overview and mostly accurate figures cover the principal features, though some smaller categories are grouped imprecisely and the first-chart social-contact figure is omitted.
Make the comparison between established reasons and recent increases explicit, and report omitted categories accurately.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically from the overview to major and minor figures, but it is presented as one paragraph and several connectors and references are awkward.
Separate the introduction, overview, and detail groups into paragraphs, and use cohesive devices only where the relationship is exact.
Lexical Resource
There is enough range to describe proportions and changes, but recurrent collocation errors weaken precision and sometimes make comparisons awkward.
Use standard chart language such as accounted for, reported an increase, and the corresponding proportion consistently.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures is attempted, but agreement errors, missing verbs, and malformed clauses occur repeatedly despite meaning remaining mostly clear.
Check each clause for a complete verb phrase and correct subject-verb agreement, especially around percentage expressions.