The pie charts below give data on the spending and consumption of resources by countries of the world and how the population is distributed.
Sample Response
The given pie charts show data on world population, the spending of people in basic needs and their share of resource consumption. As is presented in the graph, people of the world spent most of their amount for their foods and more than half of the population lives in Asia whereas more than half of the resources are consumed by the USA and European people. According to the first pie chart, people of the world on an average spent 24% on foods. In clothing, they spent 6% while this percentage is double for housing and triple for the transport. The remaining 40% is the combination of other categories for spending. The second pie chart shows that more than half of the world populations live in Asia continent while Europe & America have both only 14% of the total population. One-tenth of the world population lives in Africa and rest of the 5% people live in other places of the world. Finally, the third pie chart shows that though that 60% of world resources are consumed by the population of USA and Europe though their percentage is only 28% in total. The remaining 40% resources are shared among the rest of the 72% world population of other regions of the world.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Collocation Original: spending of people in basic needs Suggested revision: people’s spending on basic needs Why it matters: Use “spending on”, not “spending in”.
- 2. Clearer noun phrase Original: their share of resource consumption Suggested revision: the share of world resources consumed Why it matters: This better describes the third chart.
- 3. Unnatural wording Original: spent most of their amount for their foods Suggested revision: spent the largest share on food Why it matters: This is concise and natural for a pie chart.
- 4. Uncountable noun Original: foods Suggested revision: food Why it matters: Use “food” as the general category.
- 5. Category wording Original: USA and European people Suggested revision: people in the USA and Europe Why it matters: This is more natural and matches the chart label.
- 6. Word order Original: on an average spent Suggested revision: spent, on average, Why it matters: Place “on average” parenthetically or after the subject.
- 7. Preposition Original: In clothing Suggested revision: On clothing Why it matters: Use “spend on” for expenditure categories.
- 8. Word order Original: Europe & America have both only 14% Suggested revision: Europe and America each account for only 14% Why it matters: “Each account for” is clearer for equal shares.
- 9. Singular concept Original: world populations Suggested revision: world population Why it matters: Use singular “population” for the global total.
- 10. Article and noun Original: Asia continent Suggested revision: the Asian continent Why it matters: Use an adjective before “continent”.
- 11. Determiner phrase Original: rest of the 5% people Suggested revision: the remaining 5% of people Why it matters: This is the correct quantifier structure.
- 12. Remove duplicate connector Original: though that 60% Suggested revision: 60% Why it matters: “Though that” is ungrammatical and unnecessary.
Suggested Rewrites
- spending of people in basic needs people’s spending on basic needs
- their share of resource consumption the share of world resources consumed
- spent most of their amount for their foods spent the largest share on food
- foods food
- USA and European people people in the USA and Europe
- on an average spent spent, on average,
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The response describes all three pie charts and selects the main contrasts well, especially Asia’s population share and the USA/Europe resource consumption share. Minor wording issues and a few imprecise statements prevent a higher score.
Add a more explicit overview contrasting unequal resource use with population distribution, and keep each chart’s units and categories precise.
Coherence and Cohesion
The answer is logically sequenced from spending to population to resource consumption, though it is written as one dense paragraph.
Use short paragraphs for the three chart groups or an overview plus two detail paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is adequate, but there are repeated basic words and some unnatural phrases such as “spent most of their amount for their foods”.
Use precise nouns: expenditure, proportion, share, consumption, population distribution.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Grammar is generally understandable, but errors with articles, plurals and clause structure are frequent.
Edit plural nouns and remove duplicated connectors such as “though that” and repeated “though”.