The graph below shows the quarterly sales figures of Woodward chocolate bars for 2010.
Sample Response
The provided bar graph shows sales data of Woodland chocolate for the year 2010. As is observed from the given data, Wachi Bar was the most sold chocolate bar in the first quarter of the year while the popularity of Woody bar increased over the time for the given year. According to the given bar graph, from January to March around 19 million Wuzzle chocolate bars were sold in Woodland. During this period Wachi chocolate bar was the most sold chocolate which was sold more than 55 million bars. The Wozic was the second most sold chocolate bar during this first quarter with more than 45 million sales volumes. The woody bar was the least sold item for this quarter with only 10 million sales. In the second quarter, the sales volume for all these four chocolate bars were around 20 million. Interestingly in the third quarter, both Wachi and Wozic chocolate sales volume decreased to 10 million while the Wuzzle and Woody bars’ sales increased to 40 and 30 million respectively. In the final quarter, the sales volume for Wachi chocolate bar remained unchanged as it was in the third quarter while the Woody bars’ sales volume increased by 10 million compared to the previous month. In this final quarter, the Woody bar was the highest sold chocolate type and the sales volume of this bar increased throughout the year. The Wachi bar and the Wozic bar were sold around 20 and 35 million in the final quarter. In summary, there was a common pattern of the sales volumes of the four chocolate types for the year 2010 except that the sales amount of Woody bar increased in each quarter while this volume decreased for the Wachi bar.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct company name Original: Woodland chocolate Suggested revision: Woodward chocolate bars Why it matters: The graph title identifies the brand as Woodward, not Woodland.
- 2. Use sales collocation Original: most sold chocolate bar in the first quarter Suggested revision: best-selling chocolate bar in the first quarter Why it matters: "Best-selling" is the natural adjective for the product with the highest sales.
- 3. Remove unnecessary article Original: over the time Suggested revision: over time Why it matters: The fixed expression is "over time" without an article.
- 4. Use concise timeframe Original: for the given year Suggested revision: during the year Why it matters: The shorter expression states the timeframe more naturally.
- 5. Add introductory comma Original: from January to March around Suggested revision: from January to March, around Why it matters: A comma separates the introductory time phrase from the main clause.
- 6. Remove invented location Original: sold in Woodland Suggested revision: sold Why it matters: Woodland is not a location given in the graph.
- 7. Avoid repetition Original: most sold chocolate which was sold Suggested revision: best-selling chocolate, with sales of Why it matters: The revision uses the correct collocation and removes repeated forms of "sold."
- 8. Correct peak value Original: more than 55 million bars Suggested revision: about 55 million bars Why it matters: The Q1 Wachi bar reaches approximately 55 million, not more than that figure.
- 9. Capitalize product name Original: woody Suggested revision: Woody Why it matters: The product name should retain its capital letter.
- 10. Fix agreement and phrasing Original: sales volume for all these four chocolate bars were Suggested revision: sales figures for all four chocolate bars were Why it matters: The plural head noun "figures" agrees with "were," and "these" is unnecessary.
- 11. Set off sentence adverb Original: Interestingly in Suggested revision: Interestingly, in Why it matters: The introductory sentence adverb requires a following comma.
- 12. Use plural sales subject Original: both Wachi and Wozic chocolate sales volume Suggested revision: the sales figures for both Wachi and Wozic bars Why it matters: Two products require a plural head noun and clearer modification.
Suggested Rewrites
- Woodland chocolate Woodward chocolate bars
- most sold chocolate bar in the first quarter best-selling chocolate bar in the first quarter
- over the time over time
- for the given year during the year
- from January to March around from January to March, around
- sold in Woodland sold
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response’s strongest feature is its orderly quarter-by-quarter coverage, including a useful recognition that Woody rose steadily while Wachi declined. Its main limitation is data and label accuracy, especially the incorrect first-quarter Wozic figure and the confused final-quarter series; the highest-priority improvement is to verify each colour and product name before writing comparisons, then summarise the four distinct patterns precisely.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response covers every quarter and identifies two major trends, but it misnames Woodward, overstates Q1 Wozic sales, and confuses Wuzzle with Wachi in Q4.
Cross-check each series against the legend and report Q1 Wozic at about 35 million and Q4 Wuzzle at 20 million.
Coherence and Cohesion
Quarter-by-quarter sequencing creates clear overall progression, although the single long body paragraph and repetitive transitions make comparison less efficient.
Use an overview paragraph followed by two grouped detail paragraphs contrasting rising and falling products rather than narrating every quarter separately.
Lexical Resource
The report uses an adequate range of sales and trend vocabulary, but repetitive “most sold” phrasing and awkward forms such as “sales volumes” limit precision.
Vary accurate collocations with “recorded the highest sales,” “rose steadily,” “fell,” and “remained stable.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning remains clear despite recurring article, agreement, capitalization, and possessive-form errors across otherwise varied sentences.
Check plural agreement and product-name capitalization, especially in phrases such as “sales were” and “Woody Bar’s sales.”
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows the quarterly sales figures of Woodward chocolate bars for 2010.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.