The graph below shows the area of land from which grain was harvested.
This response is estimated at Band 6.5. Can you write a better one?
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Sample Response
The line graph presents data on the worldwide area harvested for grainworldwide grain harvesting area from 1950 to 1996. As is clear from the given illustration, the global area harvested for grainglobal grain harvesting areas increased gradually and grain pricesprice, land programmes and retrenchment affectedhad effects on the land area where grain was harvested. According to the given illustration, just below 600 million hectares of landjust below 600 million hectares land was used globally to grow graindifferent crops. The USSR Virgin Lands Program was launched in the early 1950slaunched after 1950 and it increased the total land area for agricultural cultivationcultivations. The gradual increaseincreases with some fluctuations could be observed over the period and in 1970, the harvested area amounted to overharvested land area amounted over 650 million hectares. The grain prices doubledgrain price was doubled around 1974-75 and that contributed towards increasing the harvested areaincreasing harvesting areas. The highest land area for harvesting could be observed in 1998 when it was about 750 million hectares. From the early 1980s to 1996, the retrenchment period coincided with a general decrease inFrom 1980 till the year 1996 retrenchment decreased the global harvested area and in 1996 it was around 670 million hectares.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response identifies the broad long-term rise and mentions the chart's contextual events, while its chronological progression is generally easy to follow. However, it misdates the peak as 1998, places it beyond the chart's timeframe, and understates the 1996 endpoint; the highest-priority improvement is to verify every year and value against the graph and give a clearer overview of the rise, peak, and later fluctuation.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The main trend and relevant contextual events are identified, but the peak year and final value are materially inaccurate.
State that the area peaked at roughly 740 million hectares around 1981 and ended near 700 million in 1996.
Coherence and Cohesion
The information follows the timeline coherently, although presenting the entire report as one paragraph weakens its organisation.
Separate the overview from the detailed chronological description and group the pre-peak and post-peak periods.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a reasonable range of trend vocabulary, but several collocations such as 'harvesting areas' and 'agricultural cultivations' are imprecise.
Use precise combinations such as 'harvested area,' 'agricultural land,' and 'rose to over 650 million hectares.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the meaning clearly despite recurring article, preposition, and noun-form errors.
Improve control of structures such as 'hectares of land,' 'amounted to,' and 'from 1980 to 1996.'