The bar chart gives information about the percentage of the population living in urban areas in different parts of the world.
Sample Response
The bar chart shows the percentage of the population living in six different regions of the world in three different years. In 1950, North America had 64 per cent of people living in the cities, reaching 90 per cent by 2050, makes it the highest percentage of population compared to other areas. By contrast, Africa had 15 per cent of citizens living in urban areas in 1950, which is the lowest percentage compared to the other regions of the world; however, it had the greatest change from 1950 to 2050, quadrupled from 15 per cent to 62 per cent. Moreover, Asia also had similar pattern of changes as Africa, increasing from 17 per cent in 1950 to 66 per cent in 2050. On contrary, Oceania has the least changes of percentage from 1950 to 2050; the difference is only 14 per cent. Moreover, the percentage of people who lived in Latin America and Caribbean has doubled from around 40 per cent to 80 per cent over a century. In, it is clear that the percentage of population in urban areas in six parts of the world has increased over a hundred year. However, these percentages change at the different rates for each city.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Specify the population Original: 64 per cent of people living in the cities Suggested revision: 64 per cent of its population living in urban areas Why it matters: The possessive reference is needed to show that the percentage belongs to North America.
- 2. Correct year and value Original: reaching 90 per cent by 2050 Suggested revision: reaching 87 per cent by 2030 Why it matters: The chart shows 87% for North America in 2030, not 90% in 2050.
- 3. Use participle form Original: makes Suggested revision: making Why it matters: A participle is required to connect this result to the preceding clause.
- 4. Use precise comparison Original: the highest percentage of population compared to other areas Suggested revision: the highest proportion among the regions Why it matters: This phrasing expresses the comparison more accurately and concisely.
- 5. Improve comparison form Original: which is the lowest percentage compared to the other regions of the world Suggested revision: the lowest proportion among the regions shown Why it matters: This replacement gives a grammatically complete and concise comparison.
- 6. Clarify projected increase Original: had the greatest change Suggested revision: is projected to show the greatest increase Why it matters: The final value is a 2030 projection, so the trend should not be presented wholly as past fact.
- 7. Use participle clause Original: quadrupled from 15 per cent to 62 per cent Suggested revision: roughly quadrupling from 15 per cent to 62 per cent Why it matters: The participle correctly links this detail to the preceding clause.
- 8. Fix comparison grammar Original: had similar pattern of changes as Africa Suggested revision: is projected to follow a similar upward pattern to Africa Why it matters: The revision adds the article, uses the correct comparison form, and reflects the projection.
- 9. Correct Asia figures Original: from 17 per cent in 1950 to 66 per cent in 2050 Suggested revision: from 17 per cent in 1950 to 54 per cent in 2030 Why it matters: The chart gives Asia's final value as 54% in 2030.
- 10. Fix contrast phrase Original: On contrary Suggested revision: By contrast Why it matters: The standard linking expression is 'by contrast'.
- 11. Describe change precisely Original: the least changes of percentage Suggested revision: the smallest percentage-point increase Why it matters: This phrase accurately describes Oceania's comparatively small rise.
- 12. Correct final year Original: 2050 Suggested revision: 2030 Why it matters: The final year displayed in the chart is 2030.
Suggested Rewrites
- 64 per cent of people living in the cities 64 per cent of its population living in urban areas
- reaching 90 per cent by 2050 reaching 87 per cent by 2030
- makes making
- the highest percentage of population compared to other areas the highest proportion among the regions
- which is the lowest percentage compared to the other regions of the world the lowest proportion among the regions shown
- had the greatest change is projected to show the greatest increase
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response is organised around regional comparisons and communicates a broad upward trend, but its reporting is seriously undermined by reading the chart as ending in 2050 rather than 2030, giving several incorrect endpoint figures, inventing Oceania, and omitting Europe. The highest priority is to verify every year, category, and value against the visual before writing, then reserve the overview for accurate global patterns.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response identifies the general upward pattern, but major misreadings of the years, regions, and endpoint values make much of the detail inaccurate.
Use 1950, 2007, and 2030, include Europe, remove the invented Oceania comparison, and check every reported figure against the chart.
Coherence and Cohesion
The regional sequence is broadly understandable, but the single-paragraph presentation and repetitive or faulty linking weaken progression.
Place a clear overview after the introduction and group the regions into two comparative detail paragraphs using fewer, more accurate connectors.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is sufficient to describe change and comparison, though several collocations and labels are imprecise or incorrectly formed.
Use accurate chart language such as regions, a similar pattern, by contrast, and the smallest increase.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of sentence forms is attempted, but frequent errors in clauses, articles, agreement, and verb forms reduce fluency and sometimes obscure relationships.
Focus on building complete comparison sentences and checking that participle clauses, subjects, and main verbs agree logically and grammatically.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The bar chart gives information about the percentage of the population living in urban areas in different parts of the world.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.