Your friend has asked for advice about a visit that his/her parents will make to your area. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: - recommend a place where they can stay - suggest places they can visit - offer to do something with them
Sample Response
Dear Jessica,
I'm so glad to hear from you after a long time. I'm also very happy that your parents are planning to visit the area where I live. So, any idea as to exactly what time of the year your parents are planning to visit? But, if I were them, I'd visit it during the spring because that’s when it becomes alive and more enjoyable due to the formation of some “bird colony”.
They can also visit the large shopping mall during the daytime while visiting the small restaurants near the river during the evening. They can enjoy some affordable but fresh food, in addition to visiting a famous but old olive garden there. But, if they are not into any of these things, I'd be more than happy to accompany them to some temples, the museum, and also perhaps meet some very generous local residents.
By the way, once they visit here, they can stay at one of the hotels on north Rupel Street since they are not only affordable but also close to the downtown.
Hope to meet them soon. Talk to you again!
Best wishes,
Emma
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove comma after but Original: But, if I were them Suggested revision: But if I were them Why it matters: A comma should not separate “but” from the following conditional clause.
- 2. Clarify reference Original: I'd visit it Suggested revision: I'd visit the area Why it matters: The pronoun “it” has no clear singular antecedent, so naming the area avoids ambiguity.
- 3. Use natural preposition Original: during the spring Suggested revision: in spring Why it matters: “In spring” is the more natural expression for a season.
- 4. Use natural phrase Original: formation of some “bird colony” Suggested revision: arrival of a bird colony Why it matters: “Arrival of a bird colony” expresses this seasonal event more naturally and uses the correct article.
- 5. Avoid false simultaneity Original: while visiting the small restaurants Suggested revision: and visit the small restaurants Why it matters: “While” incorrectly suggests that the mall visit and restaurant visits happen simultaneously.
- 6. Remove false contrast Original: affordable but fresh food Suggested revision: affordable, fresh food Why it matters: Affordability and freshness are compatible qualities, so “but” creates an illogical contrast.
- 7. Use natural arrival phrase Original: once they visit here Suggested revision: when they arrive Why it matters: “When they arrive” is the natural way to refer to reaching the area.
- 8. Remove article Original: the downtown Suggested revision: downtown Why it matters: “Downtown” does not take the definite article in this expression.
- 9. Use natural expression Original: after a long time Suggested revision: after such a long time Why it matters: “After such a long time” is the more idiomatic expression for a lengthy gap in contact.
- 10. Use concise wording Original: the area where I live Suggested revision: my area Why it matters: “My area” communicates the same idea more naturally and concisely in this informal letter.
- 11. Use natural collocation Original: it becomes alive Suggested revision: the area comes alive Why it matters: “Comes alive” is the natural collocation and also makes the reference explicit.
- 12. Use concise time phrase Original: daytime Suggested revision: day Why it matters: “During the day” is the more natural and concise time expression.
Suggested Rewrites
- But, if I were them But if I were them
- I'd visit it I'd visit the area
- during the spring in spring
- formation of some “bird colony” arrival of a bird colony
- while visiting the small restaurants and visit the small restaurants
- affordable but fresh food affordable, fresh food
Why this response received Band 7.0
The friendly letter covers all three practical points and gives the parents several concrete options, with an appropriate offer to accompany them. Its main limitation is occasional imprecision and awkward linking, especially in descriptions such as the bird colony and the sequence of suggested activities. Prioritise clearer, more natural descriptions and organise the advice in a smoother order from accommodation to sightseeing and shared plans.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All three bullet points are addressed with relevant recommendations, and the warm informal tone is consistently suitable for a friend.
Make the seasonal recommendation more concrete by explaining what visitors can see or do during spring rather than referring vaguely to a bird colony.
Coherence and Cohesion
The letter is clearly paragraphed and easy to follow, though the accommodation advice arrives after the sightseeing details and some links are repetitive.
Group the advice in a more natural sequence—where to stay, what to visit, and what you can do together—while varying the transitions.
Lexical Resource
There is enough range to describe accommodation, food, and attractions, but several combinations such as "affordable but fresh food" are imprecise or unnatural.
Choose more exact collocations, for example "affordable, freshly prepared food" and "close to downtown," and avoid unnecessary contrast markers.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good variety of sentence forms is generally controlled, and the few awkward constructions do not impede meaning.
Review reference words and parallel structures so expressions such as "that’s when it becomes alive" have a clear subject and activity lists remain balanced.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
Your friend has asked for advice about a visit that his/her parents will make to your area. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter:
- recommend a place where they can stay
- suggest places they can visit
- offer to do something with them
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.