A friend has asked you to babysit on Saturday and wants to know how much you charge per hour. You already have a commitment this weekend, but you are free the following weekend. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: - explain why you cannot help this weekend - say that you could help the following weekend - explain what your fee is
Sample Response
Dear Elena, Hope you are doing great and I am excited to read about all your recent news. I have received your message, asking me to help you babysit your little daughter on coming Saturday. I really appreciate the fact that you have actually cared to think of me as a suitable babysitter to look after your little daughter, but I regret to inform you that despite my best intention, I won’t be able to help you this coming weekend. In fact, this coming weekend, I have already made plans to visit one of my younger cousins in another city because she is going to celebrate her 21st birthday. By the way, my cousin is a bit emotional person, and cancelling the programme to visit her would certainly make her upset. So, again, I am really sorry that I won’t be able to help you out this coming weekend, but please rest assured that I would be able to help you out the following weekend. By the way, I charge hourly, and the hourly rate is 200 Rouble (Russian). But, please trust me, the rate of charge wouldn’t be an issue when I babysit your daughter. Warm wishes, Anna Irina
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Complete the greeting Original: Hope you are doing great Suggested revision: I hope you are doing well Why it matters: Adding the subject creates a complete sentence while retaining the friendly tone.
- 2. Remove unnecessary comma Original: your message, asking Suggested revision: your message asking Why it matters: The defining participle phrase identifies the message and should not be separated by a comma.
- 3. Remove redundant wording Original: help you babysit your little daughter Suggested revision: babysit your daughter Why it matters: Babysit already expresses helping by looking after the child.
- 4. Add time determiner Original: on Suggested revision: this Why it matters: The expression requires this before coming Saturday.
- 5. Make wording concise Original: appreciate the fact that Suggested revision: appreciate that Why it matters: The fact that is unnecessary in this direct personal letter.
- 6. Use natural phrasing Original: have actually cared to think of me Suggested revision: thought of me Why it matters: The shorter phrase expresses gratitude naturally without implying unusual effort.
- 7. Remove repeated meaning Original: a suitable babysitter to look after your little daughter Suggested revision: a suitable babysitter Why it matters: The meaning of looking after the child is already contained in babysitter.
- 8. Use plural expression Original: intention Suggested revision: intentions Why it matters: The fixed expression uses intentions in the plural.
- 9. Improve time placement Original: this coming weekend, I have already made plans Suggested revision: I have already made plans for this coming weekend Why it matters: Placing the time phrase after plans creates a smoother progression.
- 10. Use planned future form Original: is going to celebrate her 21st birthday Suggested revision: is celebrating her 21st birthday Why it matters: The present continuous naturally describes this fixed future arrangement.
- 11. Fix adjective phrase Original: a bit emotional person Suggested revision: a rather sensitive person Why it matters: A bit cannot directly modify the adjective before a singular noun in this construction.
- 12. Use natural noun Original: the programme to visit her Suggested revision: my plans to visit her Why it matters: Plans is the appropriate word for a personal visit arrangement.
Suggested Rewrites
- Hope you are doing great I hope you are doing well
- your message, asking your message asking
- help you babysit your little daughter babysit your daughter
- on this
- appreciate the fact that appreciate that
- have actually cared to think of me thought of me
Why this response received Band 7.0
The letter covers all three practical points with a considerate tone, giving a specific reason for being unavailable, offering the following weekend, and stating an hourly fee. Its main weakness is excessive repetition and slightly awkward formality for a friend, while the final comment makes the fee sound less definite; prioritise concise paragraphs, a direct price statement, and more natural informal phrasing.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All bullet points are clearly addressed and relevantly developed, though the comment that the fee “wouldn’t be an issue” slightly weakens the clarity of the stated rate.
State directly whether the fee is 200 roubles per hour or whether the friend can treat it as flexible.
Coherence and Cohesion
The message follows a logical sequence, but one long paragraph, repeated references to “this coming weekend,” and two uses of “By the way” make it less efficient.
Use short paragraphs for the refusal, alternative weekend, and fee, while removing repeated time references.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is sufficiently varied for the situation, but expressions such as “cared to think of me,” “emotional person,” and “rate of charge” sound unnatural.
Prefer natural phrases such as “thought of me,” “quite sensitive,” and “my hourly rate.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The letter uses several complex structures successfully, although article, number, preposition, and conditional-form errors recur.
Revise phrases such as “this coming Saturday,” “a rather emotional person,” “200 roubles,” and “I could help.”
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
A friend has asked you to babysit on Saturday and wants to know how much you charge per hour. You already have a commitment this weekend, but you are free the following weekend. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter:
- explain why you cannot help this weekend
- say that you could help the following weekend
- explain what your fee is
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.