You forgot your bag in the gym, and the gym management announced that it would be closed for a week for some renovation work. You need your bag as it has important things in it. Write a letter to the manager of the gym. In your letter: - introduce yourself and describe your position - give them a description of your bag - tell them what you want them to do
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing to you to make a request to let me collect my bag, that I had forgotten in the gym the previous night. After reaching home, I realised that the gym had been going to close for seven days for refurbishment.
Let me inform you that I have been your regular visitor and I have taken gold class membership of your gym that is quite expensive. I usually came for a workout in the late evening after my office hours. Being a buddy model, keeping myself as fit as a fiddle is essential. In Gold membership, I had been allowed to work out with a trainer in specific exercises.
Furthermore, it was a backpack and in a cylindrical shape. The colour is navy blue and white along with the keyring, which has a letter of my name ‘G’ is written. Being a leather bag, it is easy to distinguish. Moreover, to your satisfaction, I have my driving licence in it.
I would like you to allow me to pick it up from the gym. I want it because I need my driving licence. This morning, I have to pay the penalty without it. In addition, the contract file is also in it because I straightly come to the gym from the office. It will be a great help to you if I get it. Either you can inform any of your workers to pass it to me or allow me to do so. I hope you will ponder over it and help me out of this situation.
Looking forward to hearing from you.
Yours Sincerely,
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct the passive form Original: had been going to close Suggested revision: was going to be closed Why it matters: The gym receives the action, so this clause needs a passive construction.
- 2. Use the membership term Original: I have been your regular visitor Suggested revision: I am a regular member Why it matters: “Member” accurately describes the writer’s relationship with the gym.
- 3. Fix the membership phrase Original: I have taken gold class membership of your gym Suggested revision: I have a Gold membership at your gym Why it matters: The replacement uses the natural verb and preposition for holding a membership.
- 4. Use present habit tense Original: came Suggested revision: come Why it matters: The present simple is needed for the writer’s continuing routine.
- 5. Use a natural phrase Original: after my office hours Suggested revision: after work Why it matters: “After work” is the idiomatic expression for this routine.
- 6. Clarify the occupation Original: Being a buddy model Suggested revision: As a model Why it matters: “Buddy model” is unclear and prevents the manager from understanding the writer’s position.
- 7. Use formal wording Original: fit as a fiddle Suggested revision: physically fit Why it matters: The replacement is clearer and more suitable in a formal request.
- 8. Fix the preposition Original: In Gold membership Suggested revision: With my Gold membership Why it matters: “With” correctly introduces a benefit provided by the membership.
- 9. Use the current tense Original: I had been allowed Suggested revision: I am allowed Why it matters: The present passive describes a membership benefit that still applies.
- 10. Correct the collocation Original: in Suggested revision: on Why it matters: A person works “on” exercises rather than “in” them.
- 11. State the purpose clearly Original: to your satisfaction Suggested revision: to verify my ownership Why it matters: The replacement explains why the driving licence helps identify the bag as the writer’s.
- 12. Use the correct adverb Original: straightly come Suggested revision: come straight Why it matters: “Straight,” not “straightly,” is the natural adverb in this expression.
Suggested Rewrites
- had been going to close was going to be closed
- I have been your regular visitor I am a regular member
- I have taken gold class membership of your gym I have a Gold membership at your gym
- came come
- after my office hours after work
- Being a buddy model As a model
Why this response received Band 6.0
The letter has a clear request, a sensible paragraph structure, and enough identifying detail about the missing bag to fulfil its practical purpose. Its main weakness is frequent awkward or inaccurate language, which sometimes makes details sound unnatural or confusing; the priority is to use simpler, more precise expressions and maintain consistent tense and sentence structure throughout.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All three bullet points are addressed and the requested action is clear, though some supporting details are irrelevant or imprecise for a formal request.
Keep the introduction focused on membership and visit details, and state a specific collection arrangement more directly.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is organised into logical functional paragraphs, but some linking is mechanical and several sentences do not connect smoothly.
Use fewer formulaic linkers and build each paragraph around one clear sequence of related information.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient vocabulary for the situation, but recurring collocation and word-choice problems reduce precision and naturalness.
Replace awkward phrases such as 'straightly come' and 'ponder over it' with common formal expressions such as 'come directly' and 'consider my request'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The writer attempts varied complex structures, but frequent tense, article, agreement, and clause-construction errors weaken control.
Prioritise consistent past and present forms and practise constructing relative clauses without duplicated verbs or subjects.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You forgot your bag in the gym, and the gym management announced that it would be closed for a week for some renovation work. You need your bag as it has important things in it. Write a letter to the manager of the gym. In your letter:
- introduce yourself and describe your position
- give them a description of your bag
- tell them what you want them to do
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.