You recently saw an advertisement about a business conference that can be helpful for your work. Write a letter to your manager asking permission to attend the conference. In your letter say: - what the conference is about how you know about the conference - explain to him/her - why it is important that you attend this conference

Same questionCompare 2 different answers (Band 6.5–7.5)

Sample Response

1

Dear Mr Billison, I am Charles Pattison, a junior project coordinator at your organisation, writing to seek your permission to attend a relevanthelpful business conference organised by Business Flyer, a prominent human resource development company based in the UKcompany from the UK. The conference, as advertised in the Daily Business Insider, will bring together like-minded young business professionals and focus on steps to build a strong digital presencemake a powerful digital footprint. The newspaper mentioned that it would be a three-day conferencethree-day-long discussion and would aim to developand aim to develop the leadership skills of the participants so that they can bring innovation and success to their digital marketing effortseffort. Right after I saw the advertisement, I called the coordinator and he advised me to reserve a seat if I wasam interested. It will runcontinue from 21st to 23rd August, from 8.00 am to 3.00 pm. Our company has recently started taking digital marketing seriously, and I believe I can contribute more to it if I gather insights from the conference. The discussion topics are quite up-to-date, and I believe those are actionable content and materials based on a sound curriculum. I would request you to allow me to participate in the conference and oblige thereby. Yours sincerely, Charles Pattison

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 7.5

The letter has a clear purpose, an appropriately respectful tone and substantial coverage of the conference topic, its source, schedule and workplace value. Its strongest feature is the specific explanation of how digital-marketing and leadership insights could benefit the company. The main limitation is presentation and polish: ideas appear in one dense block and a few phrases are grammatically or stylistically awkward. Prioritize purposeful paragraphing and natural professional phrasing.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TA

Task Achievement

8.0
Scoring rule

The permission request is direct, all prompt requirements are developed with relevant detail, and the formal relationship is handled appropriately.

Next step

Make the practical request even clearer by stating whether attendance would require work time or company support.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

7.0
Scoring rule

The content follows a logical sequence from conference details to benefits and the request, but the lack of paragraph breaks reduces readability.

Next step

Separate the conference description, workplace benefits and final request into three short paragraphs.

LR

Lexical Resource

7.0
Scoring rule

The letter uses a flexible professional vocabulary for conferences, leadership and digital marketing, with occasional unnatural combinations.

Next step

Replace phrases such as 'actionable content and materials' and 'oblige thereby' with more natural business correspondence.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

7.0
Scoring rule

Complex structures are generally accurate and clear, although a few agreement and reported-speech errors remain.

Next step

Keep tense references consistent, such as changing 'if I am interested' to 'if I was interested', and ensure plural agreement.

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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1

You recently saw an advertisement about a business conference that can be helpful for your work. Write a letter to your manager asking permission to attend the conference. In your letter say:

- what the conference is about how you know about the conference

- explain to him/her

- why it is important that you attend this conference

Your response

Words0
20:00

Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.