You recently saw an advertisement about a business conference that can be helpful for your work. Write a letter to your manager asking permission to attend the conference. In your letter say: - what the conference is about how you know about the conference - explain to him/her - why it is important that you attend this conference
Sample Response
Dear Mr Billison, I am Charles Pattison, a junior project coordinator at your organisation, writing to seek your permission to attend a helpful business conference organised by Business Flyer, a prominent human resource development company from the UK. The conference, as advertised in the Daily Business Insider, will bring together like-minded young business professionals and focus on steps to make a powerful digital footprint. The newspaper mentioned that it would be a three-day-long discussion and aim to develop the leadership skills of the participants so that they can bring innovation and success to their digital marketing effort. Right after I saw the advertisement, I called the coordinator and he advised me to reserve a seat if I am interested. It will continue from 21st to 23rd August, from 8.00 am to 3.00 pm. Our company has recently started taking digital marketing seriously, and I believe I can contribute more to it if I gather insights from the conference. The discussion topics are quite up-to-date, and I believe those are actionable content and materials based on a sound curriculum. I would request you to allow me to participate in the conference and oblige thereby. Yours sincerely, Charles Pattison
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use relevant description Original: helpful Suggested revision: relevant Why it matters: “Relevant” links the event more precisely to the writer’s work.
- 2. Clarify company location Original: company from the UK Suggested revision: company based in the UK Why it matters: “Based in” is the natural expression for an organisation’s location.
- 3. Use natural marketing phrase Original: make a powerful digital footprint Suggested revision: build a strong digital presence Why it matters: This is a more conventional business collocation.
- 4. Name the event Original: three-day-long discussion Suggested revision: three-day conference Why it matters: The advertised event is a conference rather than one continuous discussion.
- 5. Keep reported tense Original: and aim to develop Suggested revision: and would aim to develop Why it matters: The second coordinated verb should match “would be.”
- 6. Use plural efforts Original: effort Suggested revision: efforts Why it matters: The general work of multiple participants is naturally expressed in the plural.
- 7. Maintain past report Original: am Suggested revision: was Why it matters: Backshift is needed after the past reporting verb “advised.”
- 8. Use event verb Original: continue Suggested revision: run Why it matters: An organised event runs over stated dates and times.
- 9. Sentence rewrite Original: The discussion topics are quite up-to-date, and I believe those are actionable content and materials based on a sound curriculum. Suggested revision: The discussion topics are up to date, and I believe they will provide actionable material based on a sound curriculum. Why it matters: The rewrite fixes the vague pronoun and the uncountable-noun agreement.
- 10. Use formal letter paragraphs Suggested revision: Place the greeting, conference details, work-related justification, request, and sign-off on separate lines or in distinct paragraphs. Why it matters: The current single block obscures the letter’s formal structure.
Suggested Rewrites
- helpful relevant
- company from the UK company based in the UK
- make a powerful digital footprint build a strong digital presence
- three-day-long discussion three-day conference
- and aim to develop and would aim to develop
- effort efforts
Why this response received Band 7.5
The letter has a clear purpose, an appropriately respectful tone and substantial coverage of the conference topic, its source, schedule and workplace value. Its strongest feature is the specific explanation of how digital-marketing and leadership insights could benefit the company. The main limitation is presentation and polish: ideas appear in one dense block and a few phrases are grammatically or stylistically awkward. Prioritize purposeful paragraphing and natural professional phrasing.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The permission request is direct, all prompt requirements are developed with relevant detail, and the formal relationship is handled appropriately.
Make the practical request even clearer by stating whether attendance would require work time or company support.
Coherence and Cohesion
The content follows a logical sequence from conference details to benefits and the request, but the lack of paragraph breaks reduces readability.
Separate the conference description, workplace benefits and final request into three short paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
The letter uses a flexible professional vocabulary for conferences, leadership and digital marketing, with occasional unnatural combinations.
Replace phrases such as 'actionable content and materials' and 'oblige thereby' with more natural business correspondence.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are generally accurate and clear, although a few agreement and reported-speech errors remain.
Keep tense references consistent, such as changing 'if I am interested' to 'if I was interested', and ensure plural agreement.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You recently saw an advertisement about a business conference that can be helpful for your work. Write a letter to your manager asking permission to attend the conference. In your letter say:
- what the conference is about how you know about the conference
- explain to him/her
- why it is important that you attend this conference
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.