You have just rented an unfurnished flat and a friend has told you about a shop that has cheap second-hand furniture. Write to the shop owner. In your letter: - describe what you need? - ask whether they have these items? - ask what they cost?
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am Ankitha, and I am writing this letter to enquire regarding the used furniture which is in optimal condition to be sold again. My friend John, who is your regular customer, has recommended your store and mentioned that he really admires your way of communication and explanation of products whenever he makes a visit to your shop.
Let me brief my requirements. I recently moved to a new apartment, and unfortunately, it is unfurnished, which eventually makes my life tedious. Firstly, I am working from home due to the lockdown, and I require a laptop stand which is convenient to proceed with my job leisurely. Next, I am in need of a leather couch and a massage chair which enable me to relax and rejuvenate myself after my busy work schedule and also an ideal way to watch television.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct the preposition Original: regarding Suggested revision: about Why it matters: “Enquire about” is the natural construction for requesting information.
- 2. Use task wording Original: used furniture which is in optimal condition to be sold again Suggested revision: second-hand furniture in good condition Why it matters: This concise phrase clearly describes the type and condition of furniture wanted.
- 3. Use natural phrasing Original: he really admires your way of communication and explanation of products Suggested revision: he appreciates how clearly you explain your products Why it matters: The original noun phrases are awkward and do not express the compliment naturally.
- 4. Use direct verb Original: makes a visit to your shop Suggested revision: visits your shop Why it matters: The simple verb is more concise and idiomatic.
- 5. Correct the collocation Original: brief my requirements Suggested revision: outline what I need Why it matters: A person briefs someone else, so this phrase does not correctly introduce a list of needs.
- 6. Express the effect clearly Original: eventually makes my life tedious Suggested revision: makes daily life difficult Why it matters: “Eventually” is illogical here, and “tedious” does not naturally describe the immediate effect of an unfurnished home.
- 7. Introduce yourself naturally Original: I am Ankitha Suggested revision: My name is Ankitha Why it matters: This is the conventional way to introduce oneself in a formal letter.
- 8. Remove redundancy Original: writing this letter Suggested revision: writing Why it matters: The letter format is already evident, so these extra words are unnecessary.
- 9. Add the article Original: your regular customer Suggested revision: a regular customer of yours Why it matters: The singular countable complement requires an article, and this construction is natural.
- 10. Link ideas smoothly Original: has recommended your store and mentioned Suggested revision: recommended your store, mentioning Why it matters: The participle makes the relationship between the recommendation and supporting comment clearer.
- 11. Use formal phrasing Original: Let me Suggested revision: I would like to Why it matters: This is a more courteous way to introduce the writer's requirements.
- 12. Use direct wording Original: I am in need of Suggested revision: I need Why it matters: The shorter verb phrase is clearer and less cumbersome.
Suggested Rewrites
- regarding about
- used furniture which is in optimal condition to be sold again second-hand furniture in good condition
- he really admires your way of communication and explanation of products he appreciates how clearly you explain your products
- makes a visit to your shop visits your shop
- brief my requirements outline what I need
- eventually makes my life tedious makes daily life difficult
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response identifies the furniture needed and provides some relevant reasons, while its complex sentences show an attempt at range. However, it ends before asking whether the shop has the items or what they cost, so two central requirements and a proper closing are missing; it is also slightly under length. Complete those requests first, then simplify awkward phrasing and check sentence structure.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The furniture requirements are described, but the response omits both questions about availability and cost, lacks a closing, and falls slightly below the minimum length.
Add direct questions asking whether each item is available and how much it costs, followed by an appropriate closing.
Coherence and Cohesion
The two paragraphs move clearly from the reason for writing to the required items, although the incomplete letter prevents a fully developed progression.
Organise the complete enquiry into brief stages covering background, items, availability and prices, and the requested reply.
Lexical Resource
There is some range in words such as 'unfurnished,' 'rejuvenate,' and 'requirements,' but awkward collocations occur frequently.
Replace inflated phrases with natural expressions, for example 'ask about second-hand furniture in good condition' and 'work comfortably'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts several complex sentences and usually remains understandable, but faulty relative-clause and parallel structures reduce control.
Correct the final sentence so both furniture items take clear verbs, and avoid overloading sentences with multiple relative clauses.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You have just rented an unfurnished flat and a friend has told you about a shop that has cheap second-hand furniture. Write to the shop owner. In your letter:
- describe what you need?
- ask whether they have these items?
- ask what they cost?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.