One of your colleagues is leaving for a new job, and your manager has asked you to arrange a farewell party for him/her. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter: - suggest a suitable date and time for the party - recommend a place - discuss the food and entertainment options that should be available
Sample Response
Dear Mrs Linda,
I am writing this letter to give you some updates on the farewell party for Elizabeth Gomez, which you asked me to arrange.
The party is supposed to be arranged at one of the most beautiful and spacious convention centres in our city, known as The Blue Paradise, located across the downtown, which is only a few miles away from our office. Our party can start between 3 to 5 pm and should not continue after 11:30 pm. We also have fixed a tentative date for the party between the 5th of May and the 9th of May.
There certainly will be some delicious food items and drinks at the party. I know the eating habits of most of our co-workers well, and they all prefer European cuisines that are made of vegetables and seafood. Besides, we could also have some options for entertainment, such as, “sing all you can” where anybody can sing his or her favourite song, and share some of our fun memories at work. Finally, we will give some gifts to our departing colleague.
That is all that I can share with you now. But if you feel that we need to add something else here or bring some corrections, please feel free to share.
Yours sincerely,
Joseph Crowley
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use a concise verb Original: give you some updates on Suggested revision: update you on Why it matters: This is more concise and natural in a professional letter.
- 2. Use natural event wording Original: is supposed to be arranged at Suggested revision: could be held at Why it matters: Parties are normally described as being held at a venue.
- 3. Correct the location phrase Original: located across the downtown Suggested revision: located downtown Why it matters: “Across the downtown” is not an idiomatic way to describe this location.
- 4. Correct the range structure Original: to Suggested revision: and Why it matters: The correlative structure is “between ... and ...,” not “between ... to ...”.
- 5. Clarify the tentative choice Original: have fixed a tentative date Suggested revision: have tentatively chosen a date Why it matters: This collocation expresses a provisional choice more naturally.
- 6. Use the uncountable form Original: cuisines Suggested revision: cuisine Why it matters: “Cuisine” is uncountable when referring generally to a regional style of food.
- 7. Use a natural food collocation Original: made of vegetables and seafood Suggested revision: featuring vegetables and seafood Why it matters: “Featuring” is more natural when describing the ingredients offered by a cuisine.
- 8. Remove the misplaced comma Original: such as, “sing all you can” Suggested revision: such as a “sing all you can” activity Why it matters: No comma should separate “such as” from its example, and a noun is needed to identify the activity.
- 9. Use the right collocation Original: bring some corrections Suggested revision: suggest some changes Why it matters: People suggest or make changes; they do not normally “bring corrections” in this context.
- 10. Make the location concise Original: which is only a few miles away from our office Suggested revision: only a few miles from our office Why it matters: Removing the unnecessary relative clause and “away” makes the location detail more direct.
- 11. State the end time directly Original: should not continue after 11:30 pm Suggested revision: should end by 11:30 pm Why it matters: This concise phrasing communicates the proposed finishing time more clearly.
- 12. Place the adverb naturally Original: There certainly will be Suggested revision: There will certainly be Why it matters: The adverb is more naturally placed after the auxiliary verb.
Suggested Rewrites
- give you some updates on update you on
- is supposed to be arranged at could be held at
- located across the downtown located downtown
- to and
- have fixed a tentative date have tentatively chosen a date
- cuisines cuisine
Why this response received Band 7.0
The letter has a clear purpose, covers the venue, refreshments, and entertainment in useful detail, and maintains a generally suitable professional tone. Its main limitation is that the date and starting time remain broad ranges rather than a firm recommendation, while a few collocations sound unnatural. Prioritise proposing one specific schedule and polishing phrases about the venue, cuisine, and requested revisions.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
All three bullet points are addressed with relevant detail, although the proposed date and time are not sufficiently definite.
Recommend one specific date and a clear start and finish time, with a brief reason for their suitability.
Coherence and Cohesion
The letter is organised into clear functional paragraphs and progresses logically from arrangements to catering and entertainment.
Make the sequence within the arrangements paragraph more direct by presenting the date, time, and venue in a consistent order.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and generally appropriate, but phrases such as across the downtown, European cuisines, and bring some corrections are awkward.
Use natural collocations such as near the city centre, European-style dishes, and suggest any changes.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of complex structures is used with generally strong control, despite occasional preposition and punctuation errors.
Correct range constructions such as between 3 and 5 pm and remove unnecessary commas around examples.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
One of your colleagues is leaving for a new job, and your manager has asked you to arrange a farewell party for him/her. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter:
- suggest a suitable date and time for the party
- recommend a place
- discuss the food and entertainment options that should be available
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.