You eat at your college cafeteria at lunch time every day.. However, you think it needs some improvements. Write a letter to the college magazine. In your letter: - explain what you like about the cafeteria - say what is wrong with it - suggest how it could be improved
Sample Response
Dear Sir / Madam
I am writing in connection with our college cafeteria. Since almost every student spends some time here every day, I believe it is in everyone’s best interest to find ways to improve the quality of this central eatery.
The cafeteria itself is modern, spacious and attractive. The newly painted murals of the seaside give the seating area an open, airy, outdoor feeling which makes it very pleasant to eat meals there. This is further enhanced by the large green plants and flowing water fountains.
The main problem with the cafeteria is in the food served! First of all, there is a very limited selection available. Each day offers up only standard North American fare of hamburgers, hot dogs, chicken nuggets and french fries. Not only is this selection unhealthy, but also uninteresting day in and day out. We have so many international students on campus, it would be wonderful to have some curries, burritos and falafel added to the menu. Secondly, since this is a student cafeteria, prices need to stay low. We have unfortunately seen two price hikes in the last two years.
I am sure if we offer a wider range of foods, at better prices, the cafeteria will continue to run profitably as more students choose to eat there.
Yours faithfully,
Daniel Bernard
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use standard salutation Original: Dear Sir / Madam Suggested revision: Dear Sir or Madam, Why it matters: This is the conventional formal salutation when the recipient’s name is unknown.
- 2. Use concise description Original: murals of the seaside Suggested revision: seaside murals Why it matters: The shorter noun phrase describes the subject of the murals more naturally.
- 3. Clarify relative clause Original: which Suggested revision: that Why it matters: “That” clearly introduces the defining clause explaining the effect of the feeling.
- 4. Use concise verb Original: offers up Suggested revision: offers Why it matters: The particle “up” is unnecessary in this formal description.
- 5. Introduce examples clearly Original: fare of hamburgers Suggested revision: fare such as hamburgers Why it matters: “Such as” correctly introduces the foods that exemplify the standard fare.
- 6. Add reporting conjunction Original: I am sure if Suggested revision: I am sure that if Why it matters: “That” is needed to introduce the proposition governed by “I am sure.”
- 7. Sentence rewrite Original: The main problem with the cafeteria is in the food served! Suggested revision: The main problem with the cafeteria is the food served. Why it matters: The rewrite removes the incorrect preposition and uses punctuation suited to a formal recommendation.
- 8. Sentence rewrite Original: Not only is this selection unhealthy, but also uninteresting day in and day out. Suggested revision: Not only is this selection unhealthy, but it is also uninteresting day in and day out. Why it matters: The correlative structure needs a parallel finite clause after “but.”
- 9. Sentence rewrite Original: We have so many international students on campus, it would be wonderful to have some curries, burritos and falafel added to the menu. Suggested revision: Since we have so many international students on campus, it would be wonderful to add curries, burritos and falafel to the menu. Why it matters: The subordinating conjunction fixes the comma splice and clarifies the reason for the suggestion.
Suggested Rewrites
- Dear Sir / Madam Dear Sir or Madam,
- murals of the seaside seaside murals
- which that
- offers up offers
- fare of hamburgers fare such as hamburgers
- I am sure if I am sure that if
Why this response received Band 8.0
The letter is highly effective: it presents a clear purpose, develops praise and criticism with specific detail, and turns the identified problems into practical recommendations in a polished formal register. The main limitation is minor phrasing and punctuation unevenness in a few long sentences; the best improvement would be to tighten those constructions so the otherwise precise, persuasive message reads with complete fluency.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response fully covers what is liked, what is wrong, and how the cafeteria could improve, with relevant and persuasive development.
Make the final recommendation slightly more explicit by directly requesting that the magazine raise these proposals with the college.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas are organised into a clear problem-and-solution progression, and cohesive devices guide the reader smoothly without becoming intrusive.
Break up the longest problem paragraph to give the menu and pricing issues equally clear emphasis.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide, precise, and well suited to a formal recommendation letter, with only occasional slightly awkward phrasing.
Replace phrases such as 'the problem ... is in the food served' with more idiomatic wording such as 'lies in the food on offer.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A broad range of sentence forms is used with strong control, and the few minor punctuation or construction issues do not affect clarity.
Add a comma after the introductory clause in the final conditional sentence and keep complex comparisons fully balanced.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You eat at your college cafeteria at lunch time every day.. However, you think it needs some improvements. Write a letter to the college magazine. In your letter:
- explain what you like about the cafeteria
- say what is wrong with it
- suggest how it could be improved
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.