You want to apply to a private college for a bachelor's degree, but you are experiencing financial problems and need help to enrol. Write a letter to the Principal of the college. In your letter: - explain your financial situation - ask for information about scholarships - ask about other financial help that is available
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I am Jonathon Mitch, and I am writing this letter to requestin order to receive informationsome necessary information regarding scholarships and tuition subsidies aimed at- aimed at providing financial support to undergraduate studentshelping undergraduate students financially, which areis offered by your college. I have recently graduated from high school with a GPA of 3.85 on a scale of 4, and I want to apply for admission toapply to get admitted to your college to continue my studiesstudy for a bachelor'sBachelor degree. I need this information because my family is currently suffering from economic hardshipsome economic hardship. They will not be able to cover my educational expensespay me for my educational expenses since my father, my family's sole income earnerthe only income-earning member of my family, was laid offhas got laid off from his job recentlyvery recently. Besides, as a lower-middle-income familylow middle-income family, we do not have any savingsdo not have any kind of savings which would help me meet all of my educational expenses at a prestigious private college like yours without some sort of financial help. So I am hoping for your kind consideration and help. I would like to thank you for your time and consideration in advance. Yours faithfully, Jonathon Mitch
Why this response received Band 7.0
The letter’s strongest feature is its clear formal purpose and convincing explanation of the family’s financial hardship, supported by specific academic and employment details. Its main limitation is that the requests for scholarship information and other financial assistance are only briefly stated rather than developed as explicit questions; prioritise asking separately about eligibility, application procedures, tuition subsidies, and any payment or loan schemes available.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The letter achieves its formal purpose and covers all three bullet points, although the two requests for financial information receive limited development.
Turn the scholarship and alternative-aid requests into separate, specific questions about eligibility, application steps, and available schemes.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically from the application context to the financial problem and request, but the single-block presentation weakens paragraphing.
Use distinct paragraphs for the application background, financial circumstances, and each information request.
Lexical Resource
A broad, suitably formal vocabulary conveys the situation precisely overall, despite several awkward collocations such as paying the writer for educational expenses.
Refine collocations by using natural phrases such as cover my educational expenses and pursue a bachelor’s degree.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A varied range of complex structures is generally well controlled, with occasional agreement and noun-form errors that do not impede meaning.
Check agreement and noun phrases, especially in constructions such as scholarships and tuition subsidies which are offered and bachelor’s degree.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You want to apply to a private college for a bachelor's degree, but you are experiencing financial problems and need help to enrol. Write a letter to the Principal of the college. In your letter:
- explain your financial situation
- ask for information about scholarships
- ask about other financial help that is available
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.