Write a letter to your friend, telling him/her about your degree completion and further academic plans. In your letter: - Tell your friend that you have completed your bachelor’s degree. - Explain your plans for further study abroad and any concerns you have. - Ask your friend for help or advice regarding finding a part-time job.
Sample Response
Dear friend, Sending you warm wishes from Pakistan, I hope you're doing well in abroad. I'm really happy to know about your promotion and wishing you more success in your future. You would be glad to know that I have completed my bachelor's degree and persue my career in Germany. I got an admission in university of Germany for masters degree program. I am excited to continue my journey as well as to take such a big step of my life although concern on account of funding of university and daily expenses. I have limited amount barely enough to survive and looking for a part time job. I solicited of your support to inquire vancancies in nearby stores. It contributes great help in my career an I Will be sincerely appreciate your help. Regards, Hafsa
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Match the verb form Original: wishing Suggested revision: wish Why it matters: The coordinated verb needs a finite form parallel to ‘I’m really happy’.
- 2. Use natural phrasing Original: your Suggested revision: the Why it matters: ‘In the future’ is the natural expression for wishing someone continued success.
- 3. Express the future plan Original: and persue Suggested revision: and plan to pursue Why it matters: The added verb expresses the intended future plan and corrects the spelling of ‘pursue’.
- 4. Correct the admission phrase Original: got an admission in Suggested revision: was admitted to Why it matters: English uses ‘be admitted to’ when describing acceptance by a university.
- 5. Correct the location phrase Original: university of Germany Suggested revision: a university in Germany Why it matters: The indefinite article and ‘in’ correctly describe an unspecified German university.
- 6. Use the possessive form Original: masters Suggested revision: master’s Why it matters: The qualification is written with the possessive form ‘master’s’.
- 7. Make the request natural Original: solicited of your support Suggested revision: would appreciate your help Why it matters: This phrase makes the request clear and appropriately informal for a friend.
- 8. Use the correct phrase Original: to inquire vancancies Suggested revision: in finding vacancies Why it matters: ‘Finding vacancies’ expresses the intended job-search help and corrects the spelling error.
- 9. Use an idiomatic phrase Original: It contributes great help Suggested revision: It would be a great help Why it matters: ‘Would be a great help’ is the natural expression for the value of someone’s assistance.
- 10. Correct the connection Original: in my career an Suggested revision: to my career, and Why it matters: The preposition and conjunction are both needed to connect the two clauses correctly.
- 11. Correct the capitalisation Original: Will Suggested revision: will Why it matters: A modal verb in the middle of a sentence should not begin with a capital letter.
- 12. Remove the extra verb Original: be sincerely appreciate Suggested revision: sincerely appreciate Why it matters: ‘Appreciate’ is the main verb here, so it should not follow ‘be’.
Suggested Rewrites
- wishing wish
- your the
- and persue and plan to pursue
- got an admission in was admitted to
- university of Germany a university in Germany
- masters master’s
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response communicates the degree completion, study plan, financial concern, and request for help, so its purpose remains clear despite being slightly short. Its main limitation is the high frequency of awkward word choices and incomplete grammatical structures, which makes several sentences difficult to process. The highest-priority improvement is to expand each requested point in separate paragraphs while correcting verb forms, articles, prepositions, and sentence construction.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The letter addresses all three bullet points and maintains a friendly purpose, but the study concerns and request for assistance are only briefly developed.
Add specific details about the course, funding shortfall, and the kind of part-time work or advice needed.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas follow a generally logical sequence, although the single-block presentation and awkward connections weaken progression.
Use separate paragraphs for the degree news, overseas plans and concerns, and the request for job-search help.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary conveys the main ideas, but frequent spelling errors and unnatural combinations reduce precision and readability.
Replace inaccurate phrases with natural forms such as studying abroad, admitted to a university, and ask about vacancies.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Some sentence patterns are controlled, but frequent errors in verb forms, articles, prepositions, and clause construction sometimes strain meaning.
Build complete sentences with explicit subjects and finite verbs, then proofread agreement and article use throughout.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
Write a letter to your friend, telling him/her about your degree completion and further academic plans. In your letter:
- Tell your friend that you have completed your bachelor’s degree.
- Explain your plans for further study abroad and any concerns you have.
- Ask your friend for help or advice regarding finding a part-time job.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.