You have been offered a job and have been asked to start next week. You want the job, but because of a previous commitment you want to delay starting for two weeks. Write to the manager. In your letter: - accept the job - explain your situation - ask for a change to your start date

Same question Compare 4 different answers (Band 7–8.5)

Sample Response

Dear Sir or Madam,

Thank you very much for offering me the position of Senior Business Analyst at your company. I am thrilled to accept this opportunity and eager to contribute my skills and experience to your team. The prospect of working with such a talented and diverse team is particularly exciting, and I am confident that I can make a positive impact from day one.

However, I am writing to respectfully request a slight adjustment to the proposed start date of 1st October. Due to a prior commitment I made several months ago with my current employer, I am unable to begin full-time employment until 14th October, two weeks from the originally proposed date. I understand the importance of timely onboarding for new hires, and I am fully committed to ensuring a smooth transition.

I apologize for any inconvenience this may cause, and I appreciate your understanding. My enthusiasm for this role remains strong, and I am confident that I can quickly become a valuable asset to your team.

Thank you again for offering me this exciting opportunity. I look forward to hearing from you regarding my request.

Yours faithfully,

Aron Anderson

IELTS Writing Correction

  • 1. Refine employment phrase Original: at Suggested revision: with Why it matters: A person normally accepts a position 'with' a company.
  • 2. Accept position directly Original: accept this opportunity Suggested revision: accept the position Why it matters: This wording answers the acceptance bullet more directly and precisely.
  • 3. Correct commitment phrase Original: prior commitment I made several months ago with my current employer Suggested revision: prior commitment to my current employer that I made several months ago Why it matters: A commitment is made 'to' an employer rather than 'with' one in this context.
  • 4. Avoid presuming agreement Original: I appreciate your understanding Suggested revision: I would appreciate your understanding Why it matters: The conditional form makes the request more appropriately deferential before the manager has agreed.
  • 5. Request a clear decision Original: hearing from you regarding my request Suggested revision: hearing whether the revised start date is acceptable Why it matters: This closing states exactly what response the writer needs.
  • 6. Sentence rewrite Original: Due to a prior commitment I made several months ago with my current employer, I am unable to begin full-time employment until 14th October, two weeks from the originally proposed date. Suggested revision: Because of a prior commitment to my current employer, I am unable to start on 1 October and would be grateful if my start date could be moved to 15 October. Why it matters: The original dates are thirteen days apart, so moving from 1 to 15 October expresses a full two-week delay and makes the request explicit.
  • 7. Keep acceptance focused Suggested revision: Condense the general praise of the team so the paragraph moves promptly from accepting the position to the start-date issue. Why it matters: The positive tone is suitable, but several sentences repeat enthusiasm before reaching the letter's practical purpose.
  • 8. Clarify prior obligation Suggested revision: Briefly identify the type of obligation to the current employer or when it ends so the reason for the delay is more fully explained. Why it matters: The letter mentions a prior commitment but gives the manager little detail about why it prevents the proposed start.

Suggested Rewrites

  • at with
  • accept this opportunity accept the position
  • prior commitment I made several months ago with my current employer prior commitment to my current employer that I made several months ago
  • I appreciate your understanding I would appreciate your understanding
  • hearing from you regarding my request hearing whether the revised start date is acceptable
  • Due to a prior commitment I made several months ago with my current employer, I am unable to begin full-time employment until 14th October, two weeks from the originally proposed date. Because of a prior commitment to my current employer, I am unable to start on 1 October and would be grateful if my start date could be moved to 15 October.
Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 8.5

The letter is highly effective: it accepts the role unequivocally, explains the prior commitment, proposes a precise revised date, and maintains a polished professional tone throughout. Its only notable limitation is mild repetition of enthusiasm and future value. The best refinement is to make the closing slightly leaner while preserving the courteous request and clear commitment to the employer.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TA

Task Achievement

8.5
Scoring rule

The purpose is immediately clear, all three bullet points are fully developed, and the consistently professional tone suits a letter to a prospective manager.

Next step

For maximum precision, state explicitly that the requested new starting date is 14 October and keep the final reassurance concise.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

8.5
Scoring rule

The letter is logically sequenced through acceptance, explanation, request, reassurance, and closing, with cohesive paragraphing and smooth links.

Next step

Reduce the small amount of repeated enthusiasm in the final two paragraphs to make the progression even tighter.

LR

Lexical Resource

8.5
Scoring rule

Vocabulary is flexible, precise, and appropriately formal, with natural phrases for accepting the offer, requesting an adjustment, and acknowledging inconvenience.

Next step

Refine by avoiding repeated evaluative words such as ‘exciting’ and ‘confident’ when one strong expression would suffice.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

8.5
Scoring rule

A wide range of sentence structures is used accurately and naturally, with strong control of complex clauses and punctuation.

Next step

Maintain this control while trimming longer sentences where the same professional message can be delivered more economically.

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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1

You have been offered a job and have been asked to start next week. You want the job, but because of a previous commitment you want to delay starting for two weeks. Write to the manager. In your letter:

- accept the job

- explain your situation

- ask for a change to your start date

Your response

Words0
20:00

Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.