Your English-speaking friend who lives in your town has asked for your advice about learning a new sport. Write an email to you friend. In your email: Recommend a new sport that would be suitable for your friend to learn Explain how your friend could learn this sport Suggest that you learn this sport together.
Sample Response
Dear Ram,
I hope you are doing great. I am super excited to know that you want to new learn sport. As, I am playing cricket for many years, I want to encourage you to be the part of my team as well.
Firstly, there is new cricket coaching centre opened in our town, with experienced coach. It will be easy for you to start your training as a beginner. Moreover, I also learned that trainer was part of national cricket team, and speak in plenty of language, so communication problem is also solved.
Furthermore, if we will join same classes, then we will get time to practise together as well as we can stand by each other side at difficult times. On the top of that, fees is only 200 rupees per month, including all gears. So, there is no need to spend extra money on buying accessories.
If you have any doubt about anything, please let me know, I will help you out. See you soon.
Sam
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Incorrect word order Original: new learn sport Suggested revision: learn a new sport Why it matters: The adjective and article are misplaced around the verb.
- 2. Incorrect comma placement Original: As, I Suggested revision: As I Why it matters: Do not place a comma immediately after the subordinating conjunction 'As'.
- 3. Incorrect verb tense Original: playing cricket for many years Suggested revision: have been playing cricket for many years Why it matters: Use the present perfect continuous tense to describe an action that started in the past and continues now.
- 4. Unnatural article use Original: be the part Suggested revision: be part Why it matters: The phrase 'be part of' is more natural and idiomatic here without the definite article.
- 5. Missing indefinite article Original: there is new Suggested revision: there is a new Why it matters: The singular countable noun phrase 'new cricket coaching centre' requires the indefinite article 'a'.
- 6. Missing article Original: with experienced coach Suggested revision: with an experienced coach Why it matters: The singular countable noun 'coach' needs the indefinite article 'an'.
- 7. Missing definite article Original: that trainer Suggested revision: that the trainer Why it matters: The noun 'trainer' requires a definite article to refer to the specific coach mentioned.
- 8. Subject-verb agreement error Original: speak in plenty of language Suggested revision: speaks several languages Why it matters: The singular subject 'trainer' requires the verb 'speaks', and 'languages' must be plural after 'plenty of'.
- 9. Incorrect conditional tense Original: if we will join same classes Suggested revision: if we join the same classes Why it matters: In first conditional clauses, use the simple present tense instead of 'will'.
- 10. Incorrect idiom phrasing Original: stand by each other side Suggested revision: stand by each other's side Why it matters: The possessive apostrophe is required in the idiom 'by each other's side'.
- 11. Incorrect idiom Original: On the top of that Suggested revision: On top of that Why it matters: The correct idiomatic transition phrase is 'On top of that' without the definite article.
- 12. Subject-verb agreement error Original: fees is Suggested revision: the fee is Why it matters: Use the singular 'fee' with the singular verb 'is', or plural 'fees are'.
Suggested Rewrites
- new learn sport learn a new sport
- As, I As I
- playing cricket for many years have been playing cricket for many years
- be the part be part
- there is new there is a new
- with experienced coach with an experienced coach
Why this response received Band 6.5
The letter successfully addresses all parts of the prompt with an appropriate informal tone and clear paragraphing. However, the overall impact is weakened by frequent grammatical slips and some awkward vocabulary choices. To improve, the writer should focus on refining conditional structures and ensuring correct article usage throughout the letter.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The response fully addresses all three bullet points, recommending cricket, explaining how to learn it at a local centre, and suggesting joining together.
To improve, ensure that the details provided feel entirely natural and realistic for the situation described.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically organized with clear paragraphing, though some transition words are slightly too formal for a letter to a friend.
Practice using more natural, conversational linking phrases such as 'Also' or 'By the way' instead of formal essay markers like 'Furthermore'.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is generally adequate to convey the message, but there are several awkward collocations and word choices like 'all gears' and 'plenty of language'.
Focus on learning common sports-related collocations, such as 'sports gear' or 'equipment' and 'speaks several languages'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
While a mix of simple and complex sentences is attempted, grammatical errors in article usage, subject-verb agreement, and conditionals are frequent.
Review the rules for first conditional clauses, ensuring you use the present simple after 'if' (e.g., 'if we join' instead of 'if we will join').
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