You want to apply for a job advertised by a restaurant. The restaurant requires a waiter or waitress for evening work and says that the candidate should have some experience. Write a letter to Mr Moore. In your letter: - describe your previous experience - explain why you would be suitable for the job
Sample Response
Dear Mr Moore, I am writing in regards to the job opening that you have advertised recently for the post of a waiter in your restaurant. I would like to apply for the position as my experience and personal qualities would make me a deserving candidate for the job. Currently, I am studying the Hotel Management course at Hilson University. I want to utilise my summer holidays by working in an industry related to my studies. I have experience as a waiter at a local restaurant and I worked there for more than six months. My responsibilities involved taking orders and making sure that customers at my tables get their orders on time. Besides, I handled customer complaints. In addition, I also worked as a bartender at a bar for three months. I am hard-working and punctual. All of my previous employers would be willing to give me a good reference if needed. Also, I am quite flexible and able to do all sorts of tasks. And my previous waiter experience would allow me to easily set in the vacancy at your restaurant. Please spare some of your precious time to look at my resume which I am attaching with this letter. I can meet you in a formal interview to further discuss my candidacy. I look forward to meeting you soon. Yours faithfully, Sandeep Parekh
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix the expression Original: in regards to Suggested revision: regarding Why it matters: Regarding is the correct concise expression in this formal application.
- 2. Choose the standard term Original: deserving candidate Suggested revision: suitable candidate Why it matters: Suitable candidate is the natural phrase for matching experience and qualities to a role.
- 3. Remove unnecessary article Original: the Hotel Management course Suggested revision: a hotel management course Why it matters: A non-specific course requires an indefinite article, and the subject name need not be capitalised.
- 4. Keep past tense Original: get their orders on time Suggested revision: received their orders on time Why it matters: The responsibilities at the previous job should remain in the past tense.
- 5. Avoid double linking Original: In addition, I also Suggested revision: In addition, I Why it matters: In addition and also duplicate the same additive relationship.
- 6. Fix the collocation Original: set in the vacancy Suggested revision: settle into the role Why it matters: Set in the vacancy is not an idiomatic expression for adapting to a job.
- 7. Use interview collocation Original: meet you in a formal interview Suggested revision: attend a formal interview Why it matters: Attend an interview is the conventional collocation in a job application.
- 8. Match the named recipient Original: Yours faithfully Suggested revision: Yours sincerely Why it matters: Yours sincerely is the conventional closing when the recipient is addressed by name.
- 9. Place the adverb naturally Original: advertised recently Suggested revision: recently advertised Why it matters: Placing recently before the participle gives the noun phrase a more natural order.
- 10. Use concise job wording Original: for the post of a waiter in your restaurant Suggested revision: for the waiter position at your restaurant Why it matters: The replacement states the advertised role more directly.
- 11. Use straightforward wording Original: utilise my summer holidays Suggested revision: use my summer holiday Why it matters: Use is clearer and more natural than the unnecessarily formal utilise here.
- 12. Choose a precise noun Original: an industry related to my studies Suggested revision: a field related to my studies Why it matters: Field refers more naturally to the area of work connected with the course.
Suggested Rewrites
- in regards to regarding
- deserving candidate suitable candidate
- the Hotel Management course a hotel management course
- get their orders on time received their orders on time
- In addition, I also In addition, I
- set in the vacancy settle into the role
Why this response received Band 7.0
The letter clearly establishes the application purpose and supports suitability with specific restaurant, bartending, and customer-service experience. Its main limitation is that several transitions and collocations sound mechanical or unnatural, despite generally accurate and varied sentences; the highest-priority improvement is to organise the experience and suitability points into distinct paragraphs while replacing phrases such as ‘set in the vacancy’ with precise professional wording.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The application fully covers the requested experience and suitability points with relevant supporting detail and an appropriately formal purpose.
Strengthen the close by stating availability for evening work explicitly, as this is central to the advertised position.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas progress logically from the application purpose through experience and personal qualities, but the single-block presentation and connector use are somewhat mechanical.
Separate the letter into clear purpose, experience, suitability, and closing paragraphs, using fewer additive linkers.
Lexical Resource
The letter shows a sufficient range of job-related vocabulary, though several expressions are imprecise or unnatural, including ‘deserving candidate’ and ‘set in the vacancy’.
Use more natural professional collocations such as ‘strong candidate’, ‘fit the role’, and ‘available for an interview’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of simple and complex sentence forms is used with generally good control, and the few errors do not impede meaning.
Refine article, preposition, and tense choices, particularly in phrases such as ‘in regards to’ and ‘customers at my tables get’.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You want to apply for a job advertised by a restaurant. The restaurant requires a waiter or waitress for evening work and says that the candidate should have some experience. Write a letter to Mr Moore. In your letter:
- describe your previous experience
- explain why you would be suitable for the job
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.