You will move to a new city for work. You know some people who live there. Write a letter to one of your friends. In your letter: - ask them for help finding accommodation? - tell them where you would like to live? - tell them the type of place you are looking for?
Sample Response
Dear John,
I hope this letter finds you in good health. I am writing to share breathtaking information that I will be migrating to Sydney in another two weeks. I have received the job opportunity I had been aching for the past few months. Moreover, I would require a place to live in the new city. I request you to guide me in house hunting as you have been living for more than three years.
I have a few criteria with regards to the accommodation. My organization is in the downtown area, and I would like to stay near my workplace. I prefer not to spend lots of time commuting to the office on the traffic-congested roads.
Additionally, I would like to express my views on the insights of the apartment for accommodation. I prefer to stay in a gated community despite the enormous living costs. There are excellent amenities in such localities: gym, pool, and sports clubs.
Please let me know if you find any such arrangement and hope to hear from you soon.
Best regards,
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural wording Original: breathtaking information Suggested revision: exciting news Why it matters: ‘Breathtaking information’ is an unnatural collocation for personal news.
- 2. Choose the right verb Original: migrating Suggested revision: moving Why it matters: ‘Moving’ is the natural verb for relocating to another city.
- 3. Correct the time phrase Original: in another two weeks Suggested revision: in two weeks Why it matters: The standard future-time expression is ‘in two weeks’.
- 4. Correct the collocation Original: aching Suggested revision: hoping Why it matters: ‘Aching for’ is unnatural with a job opportunity in this context.
- 5. Link the reason Original: Moreover Suggested revision: Since I am moving there Why it matters: A causal link connects the need for accommodation more clearly to the move.
- 6. Use future form Original: would require Suggested revision: will need Why it matters: The definite forthcoming move calls for a straightforward future form.
- 7. Make the request natural Original: guide me in house hunting Suggested revision: help me find accommodation Why it matters: The original phrase is overly formal and uses an awkward collocation for a request to a friend.
- 8. Add the place reference Original: as you have been living for more than three years Suggested revision: as you have been living there for more than three years Why it matters: The verb ‘living’ needs ‘there’ to identify Sydney as the place.
- 9. Use personal wording Original: criteria Suggested revision: preferences Why it matters: ‘Preferences’ better describes the writer's desired accommodation features.
- 10. Correct the phrase Original: regards Suggested revision: regard Why it matters: The fixed expression is ‘with regard to’.
- 11. Use smoother wording Original: spend lots of time Suggested revision: spend a lot of time Why it matters: This is a more natural neutral expression in the letter.
- 12. Correct the collocation Original: on the traffic-congested roads Suggested revision: in heavy traffic Why it matters: Commuters spend time ‘in traffic’, and ‘traffic-congested roads’ is awkward.
Suggested Rewrites
- breathtaking information exciting news
- migrating moving
- in another two weeks in two weeks
- aching hoping
- Moreover Since I am moving there
- would require will need
Why this response received Band 7.0
The letter addresses every requested point clearly and uses sensible paragraphing to move from the request for help to location and accommodation preferences. Its main weakness is an unevenly friendly register combined with several unnatural collocations that distract from the message. The most useful improvement would be to use simpler, idiomatic language that sounds natural when writing to a friend.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response clearly asks for help, identifies a preferred area, and describes the desired home and amenities with relevant detail.
Adopt a consistently informal, personal tone suited to a friend rather than using formal requests and business-like phrasing.
Coherence and Cohesion
The letter is logically sequenced and each paragraph has a clear function, with ideas easy to follow throughout.
Reduce formulaic connectors such as Moreover and Additionally where the paragraph relationship is already obvious.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient range to describe the move and accommodation, but combinations such as breathtaking information and insights of the apartment are inaccurate.
Use natural collocations such as exciting news, looking for a flat, and features of the apartment.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied sentence structures with generally good control, despite a few omissions and faulty constructions.
Check that dependent clauses have complete references and that coordinated clauses each contain the necessary subject.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You will move to a new city for work. You know some people who live there. Write a letter to one of your friends. In your letter:
- ask them for help finding accommodation?
- tell them where you would like to live?
- tell them the type of place you are looking for?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.