You have a pen pal and you are writing your first letter to that pen pal. In your letter: - describe your previous studies and/or work experience - describe your current activities, hobbies and interests - tell your pen pal that you will be visiting him/her
Sample Response
Dear Adam, My name is Alex Green, and I received your name and mailing address from a renowned magazine in Japan called Nara Pen Pals. I am very excited to have this opportunity to write to you and become pen pals. I hope you would write me back. I’m currently working as a computer programmer in a large multinational company in Japan. I graduated from Waseda University with a Bachelor’s degree in computer science in December 2022. While I greatly enjoy my current job, I’m interested in pursuing a Master’s degree and hope to begin graduate studies next March. My hobbies include blogging, travelling listening to rock music, playing the piano and playing table tennis. I try to visit a different country each year and so far had been to eight of them. I would be glad to meet you someday. I hope I would be able to become your friend and then meet you to know more about you. Well, let me finish here. I am already eagerly awaiting your reply to this first letter. Please tell me all about yourself and your interests. Warm wishes, Daniel Red
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural article Original: this Suggested revision: the Why it matters: “Have the opportunity” is the usual expression when referring to the present chance to correspond.
- 2. Correct work preposition Original: in Suggested revision: for Why it matters: People normally work for a company when identifying their employer.
- 3. Lowercase degree name Original: Bachelor’s Suggested revision: bachelor’s Why it matters: A generic degree name is normally lowercase when no full official title is given.
- 4. Lowercase degree name Original: Master’s Suggested revision: master’s Why it matters: The generic degree description does not require an initial capital.
- 5. Use present perfect Original: so far had been to eight of them Suggested revision: have visited eight countries so far Why it matters: Present perfect is required for experience continuing up to the present.
- 6. Make visit definite Original: would Suggested revision: will Why it matters: The future form helps present the meeting as part of the forthcoming visit rather than a remote possibility.
- 7. Refer to planned visit Original: someday Suggested revision: during my visit Why it matters: The task requires a forthcoming visit, while “someday” describes only an indefinite hope.
- 8. Fix hope construction Original: would Suggested revision: will Why it matters: A present hope about the future normally takes “will” or “can”, not hypothetical “would”.
- 9. Use reciprocal phrase Original: become your friend Suggested revision: become good friends Why it matters: “Become good friends” naturally describes a developing mutual friendship.
- 10. Use natural purpose phrase Original: meet you to know more about you Suggested revision: meet you and get to know you better Why it matters: The suggested expression is the natural way to describe learning more about a person.
- 11. Remove redundant emphasis Original: already eagerly awaiting Suggested revision: eagerly awaiting Why it matters: “Awaiting” already refers to the future response, so “already” adds unnecessary emphasis.
- 12. Clarify possession Original: this Suggested revision: my Why it matters: “My first letter” identifies the letter more naturally from the writer’s perspective.
Suggested Rewrites
- this the
- in for
- Bachelor’s bachelor’s
- Master’s master’s
- so far had been to eight of them have visited eight countries so far
- would will
Why this response received Band 6.0
The letter’s strongest aspect is its friendly, relevant account of the writer’s education, work, interests, and travel experience. Its main limitation is task fulfilment: it expresses a hope of meeting someday rather than clearly announcing a forthcoming visit, and the change from Alex Green to Daniel Red creates confusion. The highest priority is to state definite visit details and keep the writer’s identity consistent throughout.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The studies, work, and hobbies are described clearly in a friendly tone, but the required forthcoming visit is not actually announced and the writer’s name changes.
State when and why you will visit the pen pal, and use the same name in the introduction and signature.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information follows a generally logical path from introduction to work and studies, hobbies, and closing, but the lack of paragraphing makes the letter feel compressed.
Divide the response into short paragraphs that group background, current interests, visit plans, and the closing request for a reply.
Lexical Resource
The response shows enough range for familiar and professional topics, although repetition and a few awkward combinations reduce precision.
Use more natural expressions such as “get to know you better” and avoid repeating “meet you” in adjacent sentences.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The writer attempts varied complex forms, but tense and modal errors recur in phrases such as “so far had been” and “I hope I would”.
Use present perfect for experience up to now and present or future forms after “hope”, such as “I have visited” and “I hope I can”.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You have a pen pal and you are writing your first letter to that pen pal. In your letter:
- describe your previous studies and/or work experience
- describe your current activities, hobbies and interests
- tell your pen pal that you will be visiting him/her
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.